I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I know what you mean about being confused though...I've been trying to stick to my mood chart, using it everday this month, and somedays it's really hard to know where my mood is.
Depression is so terrible. If you're still well enough to do some things for yourself, try. If you can at all distract yourself, try to keep busy. I'm pretty sure you have anxiety meds, take them if it gets bad.
You mentioned something sad happening in your life right now. So stress might be bringing this all on. I don't know if journaling helps at all, or if you can talk to a friend or family member, just get it all out??? I usually feel a bit better once I talk about things...
Anyway, just wanted to let you know you are valued and we're all here for you