Lost, you will get better, you will. We all know how low that pit goes, that deep, dark place, but you really will come out of it. The worst part about the depression is how demoralizing it is -- how it makes you feel so sure that life will never get better. But that's an illusion. It's part of the illness.
Give the drugs time to work. Lamictal takes a few weeks to kick in, so if it works for you and you don't have any side effects you still have a couple of weeks to stick it out. I know how hard that waiting can be. I forget, are you on an AD too? Does your doc have you on anything to help with the day-to-day depression? In the meantime, do you have friends or family who are helpful and open to talking with you when you need support?
But in time, you'll get the drug cocktail right, you'll start to feel better, you'll be able to work again, and you'll find a new job. Maybe even something you like better than your old job.
I am literally just rising out of a 4-month depression. Yesterday I did the first real "work" I'd done in months and it felt sooooo good. It felt like my brain was working again, like I was back in control again. I promise, it really will get better for you too. Just hang in there.
Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!