Hello...I'm new to the forum. I've suffered for at least 10 years with reoccuring depression. My son was diagnosed Bipolar at the age 12. I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago.
I'm coming her in complete frustration. It is as though now that I have the dx my husband no longer believes in my observations or feelings. It's as though I instantly lost my credability. As though with depression alone I could be believed but if I'm Bipolar I'm delusional and paranoid. Even though I'm the same person he married and the dx doesn't change who I am just how the doctors treat me.
Talk about making me crazy. Picture yourself going to the doctor one day and then being treated as though your feelings and observations are not real the next. It kills me. And in the midst of that frustration my bipolar gets worse and suicide ideation becomes a regular part of the process because I don't want to be treated as though I'm irrelivant.
How do I stay in a relationship and give to it emotionally and physically when I'm being treated like a psycho. I'm very concerned with this continued treatment I'm going to either have to pull away or something because all I can think when I'm treated like this is I don't want to be here. It's like I want to tell my doctors to go ahead and drug me to the point my mind can't be depended on as my mind the way it is no longer does me any good as others now believe i'm an idiot and have nothing relivent to contribute. Mind as well be drugged to the point that I don't care or notice it as in the state I'm in with this type of treatment I'm just simply getting worse.
My personal oberservation, I have one set of circumstances that has been really upsetting me in the past month...family issues. If my husband thinks it's all in my head then I believe that he should look at my entire relational and mental picture right now. I'm not paranoid, dellusional, or out of control with any other issue in my life right now so maybe this is NORMAL.
I would appreciate any support you can give me. I feel really really alone. I dreamt that I took a bottle of pills last night. I dont' want to kill myself, but I don't want to live the rest of my life beling treated like a child.