Partner BP and just want to vent...

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wickedlycoolcomfort
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 9/19/2007 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Greetings All :-)
My partner is BP but is actually in the process of bieng re-diagnosed.  He is charting his moods and so far we think he has been in a depressive state for about 2.5 months. 
 
The typical signs are there; withdrawing from friends and family, feeling unworthy, sleeping a lot; hard to concentrate.  In general just depressed. 
 
I'm having a bit of a go ont he depression on my end because the he has been pushing me away for a while now.  We have not broken off the relationship even though he has suggested now twice.  My come back is the same each time, "Unitl we're level head adn we've truly given it a go, I don't want to throw in the towel".  He feels guilty because he tells me continuously that he can't provide me what I need.  But this has been said while he is experiencing his episode.  Befor ethat, was positive about us, starting a family someday, excited about our relationship,e tc. Now he seems stoic really; emotionless about things. 
 
He was offered a rare opportunity by going to Europe for a few days at absolutely no cost.  The dates for this were the ame s dates I was due to visit him (we live in different states).  I haven't seen him since the end of June 2007.  He took the opportunity without thinking about me coming in that weekend.
 
I was hurt, and felt like crap about it, but I told him I was happy for him and hopefully it will help lift his episode, who knows.  He is taking his anxiety medication with him to try and make sure nothing happens with an attack. 
 
I guess I'm just feeling down but trying harrd to remember that I cannot take this personally.  If I was just a friend without the feelings of being his partner/girlfriend, then I'd be excited about this happening to him, but I'm kind of not, since I feel like he isn't putting more priority on my time with him. 
 
From reading threads on here and reading books on the disorder, I know he is not in his right frame of mind and will most likely pull stunts that are a bit hurtful.  I guess I just need to time to get over this and let it go. 
 
But feedback from those that can prsonally relate, I'd love to hear from you...Thanks :)
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."


Ann4111
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/19/2007 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
WWW,
You have been there for me so I am there for you. As you know, my bf is the same way. The only advantage is that we are only 45 mins. away. Ironically, he would like a future and it is I who is pulling away this time. I have decided to cool the relationship, and proceed cautiously. These relationships are time consuming and emotionally draining. I guess the hardest thing for me to realize that the future I pictured will probably not happen. I know you think of a family and other things with this man, perhaps moving on is for the best because you could find someone to start a life with that is balanced now so you do not have to continue twisting in the wind. I know how hard it is to let go...it has been a year and a thread of attachment is still there. I have known this man for many years prior to his instability but never knew how bad his depression was...so I do understand the letting go. At this point, I am moving towards friendship and support and giving up on the romantic dream. You are not alone in your pain...lean on friends and family they got me through all of this!!! Ann

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/19/2007 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
WCC:

I'm so sorry. I had a boyfriend do almost exactly the same thing to me once. It really sucked. The worst was that I'd always been the one who really *longed* to go to Europe and then on a lark he got to go for free and ditched me over Spring Break to do it. On one level, I could understand -- If someone had offered me a free trip to Europe without him I'd have been sure to send him a lovely postcard. All the same, it felt awful to be the one left behind, lonely and jealous.

And my bf was not BP. Just a jerk. Ditched him. Well -- actually eventually he ditched me, but it was all for the best. Now I'm married to a fabulous man who has taken me to Europe 4 times and given me a gorgeous daughter. See what you've got ahead of you...

serafena
Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!

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