I am Freaking Out!!!!!

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Scared_Wife
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 10/6/2007 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok.... 
 
I think we are in a truely manic phase and if I could physically force him I would drag him to emerge.
 
Last week he was miserable. Didn't work since Tuesday,   at home (Could really be sick as a flue is going around) but.... 
 
Taking Gravel and anti nausa pills like crazy.
 
I went over to ask him a question and steped on a landmine (mentioned I was going out with the girls Friday Night) Through him into a rage, screaming that i am playing games, get out of his face his parents come flying down ask me to leave.  I head out the driveway and The women I have been thinking he's ben having the affair with is ironically at the end of his street.
 
She and I start talking (Two Hours and compare lie after lie after lie)   she swears to me that he is just a friend.. bla, bla .. but he has been acting weird with her and acting very possevive and jerky towards her which she says is new (I have been experiencing this for a while) The crazy thing is I believe most of what she's saying....
 
Friday night as I head into my girlfriends house he starts calling me and demanding to know where I am and what I am doing... Screaming at me about going out all the time (I rarely go out on the town)   and I better decide if I want him or not....  WHAT???
 
When I don't give in to more threats about selling the house and what not he says he's heading to the house to take our eldest son. (Just the one)  I said if you go near the house I will call the police.... Hangs up...
 
I later today find out from The friend who I will call C, that she picked him up as he stormed out of the house as they had plans.   (this looks to be like a ploy just simply yo wreck my nite) He didn't .... I checked on my kids and house and went anyway....
 
 
Today.... He came as we had a family photoshoot (I wanted this for our youngest son and we had a greed to this at a "calm' time)... I didn't think he's show but he was and beside really sullen (unshaved and in a T-shirt) he was OK with me and the kids.  
 
He then anouces that he is going to take our son to a hockey game down the street and they will come back for supper.  could I please make spagetti...
 
Get a call from C... 20 minutes after he left, said he was sending her wierd texts all day and told her to call him.... when she did he text her to **** Off.   He called her (in FRONT of MY 3 year old, according to her) and said he was going to bash her face in and kill her... She was freaked....
 
He brought our son home, was extreamly agitated and just left. said he didn't want supper and was going home... I called his mom, told her what was up,  she called me and said he is in their basement in front of the tube and would call me if he moved..... 
 
This is the first time he has actually threatened somone that i know of... He has never threatend physical harm to me....  I do believe it's only threats,  but this is the friend he has been obsessed with and basically worshipped above all others....   I am afraid he will hurt himself... all though no threats of that today....
 
Are we at the start of psycotic breakdown? 

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/6/2007 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh golly. Yeah. He's a danger to himself and to others, and at this point, he needs to go to the hospital. It really DOESN'T MATTER at this point whether he "means it" or not. Take him at his word. He's too irrational for you to know what's real and what's not.

I would say have his parents take him to the ER, but I can't see him going along with that willingly. So I really only see one other option -- call 911 and tell them he's been suicidally depressed, he's threatened suicide many times, and today he was violent, irrational and made several threats including one violent threat to kill someone. I believe police have to come collect him and take him to the ER for evaluation if you do that.

If there is a safe place to take your kids, I would consider it while he is so unpredictable. Especially because if the police just let him go after they question him, he'll probably be mad. I doubt he would do anything to hurt them, but he has threatened to take one of them, and he has threatened this other woman.

I'm so sorry SW. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Please let us know what happens.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 10/6/2007 9:23 PM (GMT -7)   
SW, I can't help you with knowing what is going on as I have NEVER had this level if issue or drama/crisis connected to my H & S being BP. But, as a woman and mother, I would take the first step and call the police and hospital to ask if this constitutes behavior that you, as his wife, could finally have him committed and (then in turn) evaluated. I would also stay clear of him for yourself at this time, and do not allow him to have the kids. No dinners, pictures, or hockey games until he is balanced out. As to Ms. "C", he could have gotten wind you two are now talking, and whether he has a friendship or affair, feels betrayed by it on her part.

My dear, I truly believe your best move here, after the call to police & hospital and try to get him committed for evaluation, is to keep a great calming distance between you and him. YOU will not be able to save him here. Yes, there might be action you can take such as the trying to get him committed, but beyond that...this is up to him. This level of drama and chaos in your life is NOT good for YOU or those kids of yours, no matter how you slice it. It has an effect on children when they hear a parent speak like you described to ANYONE. And you are NOT helping those kids by allowing them to have access to a father who is unstable. It is doing damage. Don't miss understand me, YES, kids need their father (or mother). But they need them to be rational, responsible, emotionally sound, loving, consistent, and healthy. NONE of which your husband is at this time. I know you are working to protect the kids from what is really going on, and keep things as "normal" as possible for them, but this is not good for them in the long run at this time. Your husband needs help, if he chooses not to get it, then he pays the consequence - not those kids. Ms. "C", is CHOOSING to stay in the mix. Put yourself in her shoes, whether you were having a friendship or affair, would YOU stay involved with someone this unstable and speaking to you this way? I certainly wouldn't. So, she must crave drama and chaos in her life, or have a savoir complex of some kind…and why her husband puts up with it, and allows this level of instability and risk to touch his family is beyond me. But, that is their relationship, not yours, and you need to handle YOUR home.

Grant you, all this is just my opinion based on what you have shared; and you are free to make the choices you feel are best. But you have come on to HW asking for peoples input, so I hope you accept my “straight un-sugar coated input” with the care and compassion for you it is intended. I know you are in pain seeing a loved one like this, but if you don’t emotionally stay in reality and allow yourself to get lost and caught up in the entire crisis” he is creating, then you loose bits of yourself in the process. I watched my sister go through this, and she regrets how much damage she allowed to happen to herself before she would accept she couldn’t save her husband. Looking back, she now wishes she had accepted it and left at least 3 years ago (their situation with this same stuff came to light about 4 years ago). She now knows you can not help or “save” people who do not want to be helped or saved. They have to then help or save themselves. She is paying the price now for how far her self esteem and worth plummeted, and for the full on financial wreck she is having to dig out of for her and her young child – as they lost everything in the end, and just finally needed to “get out” or drown with him. And yes, I am pleased you did not let him ruin your night out, but I am sure inside you couldn’t really relax and fully enjoy it either.

I wish you strength for the days ahead, and wisdom to choose well, whatever those choices may be. LFW

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 10/6/2007 9:26 PM (GMT -7)   
SW, I just read what Serafena shared and I would definately agree with her assessment as well. Perhaps putting you and the kids in a safe place is important right now? LFW

Casem
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 10/7/2007 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Scared

I am so sorry that  you are experiencing such frightening turmoil right now. I agree 100% with Serafena and LFW....get the kids to a safe place and call 911 to get him to the ER. I doubt he would go on his own....given his state and temperament....so you will need all of the help you can get.

Do everything you can to protect yourself and your children. You must put your safety first, as he is not well and his actions can't be trusted.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers tonight...please keep us posted.

 


 
Casem
New Bipolar Supporter


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 10/7/2007 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   

SW,

I am in agreement with the rest of the group, call 911 and try to get him to a hospital or another safe place for himself.  Tyry to get yourself and your kids to a safe place.  Your husband is enraged and we don't know what he is capable of.

My prayers are with you, stay strong!


Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
Dx:  Bipolar I, Anxiety-Panic Disorder
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serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/10/2007 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi SW:

I'm just thinking about you and hoping everything is okay.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!


Scared_Wife
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 10/10/2007 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for thinking of me....
 
Well... I did not call the police as I was told all they could do was charge him with uttering death treats and he does not need anymore legal trouble and all he did was lie in his parents basement...
 
Sunday.. he started to level off and monday he was almost happy....  he has been calm, but distant tuesday and today....
 
I went and seen a psycologist with his mom at the hospital to try and put plans in place for next time and she said it sounds so much like BP but it is cycling so fast and he only goes Hypomanic not extreamly.  Maybe it's just depression that rages.....  I don't know.... She also said our first priority is to get him a physical, cause it could be a physical issue not a mental one at all....  The good news is both his parents agree that he needs help and is not just being a jerk....
 
and as for miss "c" , it seems she is still in the picture,  she has not called me again, but his cell phone still goes off and unless he has met a new friend....   WHY won't she go away?????
 
SO again I am waiting...... I think I am going to take the boys out of town this weekend for a break from the whole thing....  I feel so tired and drained....
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