Post Edited By Moderator (olivia of course) : 10/13/2007 11:35:54 AM (GMT-6)
I definitely can relate to what you wrote. I can't make any plans either b/c of my bp and anxiety. And I'm totally acknowledging the "can't" in that sentence. I've tried for years, but everything basically has to be planned (or not planned at all) around how I'm feeling. And that in itself is stressful.
I don't like you feeling so down on yourself though hun. It kinda sounds like a bout of depression is making you feel even worse about all of these things. Depression can do that; make you feel worse. Not sure if I'm out of line there...
I can also relate to the career issue. I really want to work in the hospital when I'm done school, but that might be hard b/c with my insomnia, bp etc., 12 hour shifts + shift work of all hours. It disappoints me, but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. But it is frustrating b/c it's like if wasn't sick nothing would hold me back.
Hopefully you are feeling better today and you know that your truly are successful in your life and definitely in your fight against bp. My pdoc also says I'm pretty "high functioning", but I definitely don't feel that way when I'm down. I hope you can try to turn those negative thoughts around somehow. All of the suggestions in the other posts were really good, about looking at some other options with your degrees. Such a high level of education, there could be something else out there for you serafena.
Thinking of you, please let us know how you're doing. I'm so glad you posted your thoughts.
I've been out with my daughter and with friends for most of the day (we took her to a pumpkin farm/petting zoo. -- A baby cow tried to eat her hair. It was adorable.
And I'm sure glad that you are feeling better.
You know, in the book, Loving Someone with Bipolar, it describles how it is helpful for you guys to write down ahead what you need to do step by step so when you are off kilter, then you don't have to think so much, you just try to follow your pre made plan. One of those easier said than done things??
I'm not real good at housework so I started Fly Lady today (AGAIN..lol) and it seems more fun but it says I need to plan my little routines (with their help). I need little meal plans so I can make little grocery lists and stuff. Alot of you probably already do this but I usually just fly by the seat of my pants which is really the reason I'm not so great with housework. But I have to say, getting these routines will be better for me. Maybe they would help you too.
I'm real proud, I got my dishwasher going before I go to bed......but in reality, I just wish I had a maid.....