I bottomed out

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
26 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/18/2007 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Two Monday's ago, my gp told me to cut down the dosage of my Effexor from 225mgs to 150mgs because he thought that was causing the vertigo.  I checked with my pdoc, she said she'd never heard of it, but to go ahead.  My husband had said he thought I'd been getting a bit manic -- pressured speech, too many thoughts at once, a bit hyper, too many projects, etc.  I told her that and she made an appointment with me right there an then for a week later. 
 
One week later, last Monday, I bottomed out so fast and so hard, it was like nothing I've ever experienced before.  My mood went down so steadily all week, and yet I stayed good and manic.  But on Monday I started crying and couldn't stop -- great heaving, screaming sobs.  I tried paging my therapist, but she wasn't answering (turns out her pager ran out of batteries,) and so finally I called my husband home.  I was suicidal.  I couldnt' go on.  I couldn't do it any more.  My family was better off without me.  Yeah -- that fast.  It was scary.
 
Luckily -- I had an appointment with the pdoc that day.  Haha!  (It's like she knew, or something.)  She said "I've never seen you like this before," and added Abilify to my cocktail.  She said if I didn't mellow out in a day or two she was going to put me in the hospital.  I really wanted to go in the hospital.  I really wanted a break from my life, but I took the Abilify 10 mgs, and she prescribed 3 Ativan a day.  And I'm doing much, much better.  It's like it never happened. 
 
So it's been a weird week and I'm tired.  It's like my brain has had a work out.  I told the pdoc and a few of my family members (and my therapist when she called me back the next day) that I felt slow, sluggish, but they all said I sounded fine.  The doc said it was because I wasn't manic anymore.  sad   That's the part people like, she said.  My brain worked better (just a little) when it was manic (just a little).
 
Anyway,  I'm away from home this weekend.  I'll be checking in only once a day or so, so if I seem distant -- it's not that I don't love you!  I do.  And also that I'm a little slower than I was a week ago.
 
Incidentally, I haven't had any vertigo.


Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!

Post Edited (serafena) : 10/18/2007 9:19:24 PM (GMT-6)


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/19/2007 6:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Serafina,
 
Wow!!!  I am so glad that you are doing so much better; what a scary experience that was for you and I'm glad that your pdoc was so on top of things for you.  I am very impressed that your husband was able to notice and tell you what he was seeing that was going on with you.  Kudos to hubby!!!
 
I hope your weekend away will be a restful one for you.  You will be in my thoughts and hoping that you are relaxing.
 
((((Big gentle hugs for you))))
 
Love ya,
Wen

Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, and Social Anxiety
 
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
 

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin

 


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 10/19/2007 7:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Sarafena,

I'm glad that things have calmed dowm for you, that has happened to me before and it's scary everytime. I am glad you were able to catch it early. I am also glad that you get to get away from it all this weekend. Try to relax and I hope it is a restful time. Please let us know how you are doing when you get back. (((hugs))) for you and know we'll be thinking of you.


Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
Dx:  Bipolar I, Anxiety-Panic Disorder
Support HealingWell: 
http://www.healingwell.com/donate
"Don't let your yesterday, ruin your today"


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 10/19/2007 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Serafena, What impresses me, and you should be VERY proud of yourself about was how WELL you took care of you. Part of you knew the entire time something was wrong, and you took the steps to protect yourself from the chemical imbalance that was taking place. While it felt VERY real, you knew it wasn't. BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you were scared, I know it felt terrible, and it is. But, YOU did a great JOB. You are an inspiration to us all. That has to have earned you brownie points with yourself. I know you are struggling, and it sure gets wearing when it doesn't let up for long stretches; swings, vertigo, not liking work...etc. BUT, the key is in spite of it all, you found even at its worst...you can count on YOU to protect and care for yourself by taking the right steps. WOW...you are doing much better than you think. LFW

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 10/19/2007 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   

Serafena,

I am so glad you are feeling better, take extra care of yourself this weekend.  I am so glad you have such great professional support.  I wish my pro support was like that...the paging etc.

I just cannot say how glad I am (we all are) that you are okay.  You are worth so much, your life is worth so much.  Take care and get well.  ((((hugs)))))


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
.5mg Clonazepam, 50mg Trazodone
--Currently not on meds for bp--


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 10/19/2007 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Serafena,
 
Wow...you certainly had a close call!!! Good for you for being honest with your pdoc and alerting her to what your husband was observing in you. She was smart to keep a close eye on you with a quick follow up appt.
 
I'm glad you were able to get in touch with your husband and you were already set with an appt to see your pdoc. that same day!
 
So glad to hear things are getting better for you. I hope you are able to ENJOY your weekend away. Take your time with healing...we will be here thinking of you.
 
~Sukay~
 
Crohns Disease-Remicade since 1999, Methotrexate
Fibromyalgia & Arthritis
Bipolar & Panic/Anxiety-Trileptal, Xanax, Trazadone, Wellbutrin


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/19/2007 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys! You're the best!

I'm doing lots better and having a really nice weekend so far. We took my daughter to the zoo today and went out to lunch. The weather is gorgeous and I'm feeling pretty perky. It's so weird to feel so many things in one week. But I really appreciate the nice support and kind words about how I handled it. You're very right, I am lucky to have a stellar group of people helping me out. You all are very much a part of that. I really depend on you to help keep me in perspective.

Thanks again. (((hugs))) Let's hope I stay better for a while, huh? Otherwise -- off to Thailand with Jeri. (This is my new mantra, I think.)
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!


Casem
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 10/19/2007 8:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Serafena,
I don't know what to say first......I am sorry that you were hurting....I am so impressed by your strength....and I am so in awe by your communication between you and your husband.....and I am so proud of you for doing ALL OF THE BEST THINGS. Here I am going on and on about me and what seems like a trip to Disney compared to your past couple weeks......little did I know what you were going through....

I agree with LFW.....You are an inspiration to us all!! Thank you for sharing, again, and I am so glad to hear you are having a nice, enjoyable weekend.
 
Casem
New Bipolar Supporter


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/20/2007 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Um... I beg to differ, Miss Casem -- grieving the breakup of a serious, permanent relationship, having to endure his indecision and manipulation, a trip to the hospital -- NONE of these is a trip to Disneyland. And you don't have to stop being sad 'cos I am or vice versa. That's why we're a group. We all support each other, whether it's a trip to Disney (which frankly I think would be fairly traumatic) or a trip to the hospital. No need to beat yourself up because I was unhappy. But thank you for being kind and saying nice things about me. You're a very good person. :-)
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 10/20/2007 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay...I have to ask...what does "off to Thailand with Jeri" mean, and why is it your new mantra???? Did I miss something??? LOL LFW

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/20/2007 3:22 PM (GMT -7)   
LOL. You and I keep missing each other! Jeri is "Mr. T." He lives in Thailand. I told Wen that if she didn't feel better she could move to Thailand with Jeri (she and I and Jeri talk on his thread frequently.) I just think going to live in Thailand with Jeri sounds like more fun than, say, going to the hospital, or being really depressed. (Hope that's okay with you, Jeri.)
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 10/20/2007 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey a few weeks away from your problems sounds good to me, count me in on the visit to Jeri's.
Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
Dx:  Bipolar I, Anxiety-Panic Disorder, PTSD
Support HealingWell: 
http://www.healingwell.com/donate
"Don't let your yesterday, ruin your today"


Mr.T
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 133
   Posted 10/20/2007 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Serafena,

How many should I expect?  I was so sad to see this thread.  I somehow lost my way in the forumn and looking for my thread came upon yours.  I guess it was fate.  How are you feeling now?  I am really glad to hear that you got through the lowest part, but know if not watched, it can hit again.  I've been there latley, but I talk about that on my thread.  This is about you and being there for you.  Thailand is known as the Land of Smiles so if you ever need a good dose of Smiles you know where to come.  Please know that I am here for you and wish the best.  Good luck and take care


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/21/2007 1:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Jery,

Sounds like about 4 now. We'll give you a head count from the plane. :-)
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Jaques:It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

William Shakespeare
As You Like It
Act IV, scene i


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/25/2007 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone:

Just posting an update. I saw my doc yesterday. She's dropped the Effexor down to 75. Deep breath. I'm nervous. Last time we dropped it, bad things happened. But I've got the Abilify now and that seems to be okay. She's only got me on 10 of that, and so I'm on the baby dose. (*Laughing* "Here you go little psycho-baby. Swallow your little pill...") I can go to 15 though if necessary. So far, so good, but it's only been one day.

My poor little daughter had her elbow dislocated today, so it was a rough one and I'm tired. Apparently it's called "Nursemaid's Elbow" and those of you with kids have probably heard of it, because the doc assured us it's pretty common and the nurse told us her daughter accidentally did it to her son when they were kids. I think that sounds all together too cheerful a name for it. My husband was pulling her out of a chair by one arm (not even hard. I was right there!) and she twisted away from him. That's all it took. So we were in the ER for a couple of hours. The elbow popped itself back in, but she's been very tender and SUPER grouchy all day. I probably would be too, and I don't even have the excuse of being 2.

Hope all is well,
I'm hanging in there.
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 10/25/2007 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Serafena, they are so amazing these kids...they heal and get past things so quickly sometimes. I know when one of mine (the twin boy) was around 4, he needed to have his blood drawn. Most times we hold our kids like steel traps, but he begged me not to. I should just hold his arm. He was working to be all brave and everything. He was quite insistent actually, so I let him....BUT...at the moment of needle insertion he flipped and pulled his arm back...The needle ended up cutting his skin about 3/4th of an inch all the way down to muscle. He started screaming, I started shaking, the guy giving the blood draw started sweating. Luckily, the lab was next to our doctor’s office, we walked him in; the doctor looked...and immediately sent us to the ER. We were taken in immediately and they used "Spiderman glue" to stitch him up, wrapped up his arm...and poof…he was done. I on the other hand was racked in guilt that I shouldn’t have given in to him and I should have held him and now as a result I have scared my son for life.....But...HE WAS FINE and isn't even scared of needles. He now knows to REALLY hold still no matter what, and I will NEVER EVER not wrap around him like an octopus and HOLD him steady. The moral of my story...It was FAR more traumatic for me than him, and while he may bare a physical scar...I will bare the guilt of that scar inside of me forever. Better me than him though. No worries…she won't even remember it.

As to your meds...my fingers are crossed you find the combo that works for you without much issue this time. SUNSHINE....LFW

olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 10/26/2007 3:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Serafena,

I hope the med combo works for you, I hope you have a better success rate on Abilify than I did.

Ouch! I hope your daughter has a quick recovery. Kids are strong, she'll be running around and playing in no time.
Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
Dx:  Bipolar I, Anxiety-Panic Disorder, PTSD
Support HealingWell: 
http://www.healingwell.com/donate
"Don't let your yesterday, ruin your today"


Need Advice
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 10/26/2007 5:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Serafena,

May I ask what grade of English you used to teach. My wife teaches english grade 9 and 10 and I'm really not sure she can keep doing this. Maybe you have some pointers.

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 10/26/2007 8:30 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Serafena

Ugh! The timing of everything!  And you just had a med change on top of it! I hope you get some rest today from your stressful day yesterday.  Hope your daughter is in a better mood for you today and that you are both healing well. 

Oh and quit bragging so much about your Trivia Game results. tongue I can't stand being timed. My mind these days aren't as quick as I would it to be. But I have been trying to increase my speed. Someone will catch you one day...we need more players to join in.

Today's a good one. I'm anxious to see your results. tongue

Take care. 


~Sukay~
 
Crohns Disease-Remicade since 1999, Methotrexate
Fibromyalgia & Arthritis
Bipolar & Panic/Anxiety-Trileptal, Xanax, Trazadone, Wellbutrin


Mr.T
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 133
   Posted 10/26/2007 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   

Serafena,

Well I hope that the new change in medicine is good for you.  Sorry to hear about the injury, but as we all know they are resilent.  It doesn't do much good for your nerves, but I am sure you will do well.  It seems you have soo much to offer.  I iwsh I had that much to give.  You must have a great heart. Let us know how you are doing and how the healing is coming along.  I would be scared to chage meds now, but I am still new so I am sure you and your doctor know best.  I am still lost and confused.  i try to read and understand everything that everybody writes and take it in, but....Sorry I don't even know what to say. Anyway this is about you and your family.

Good Luck with everything and don't get me wrong you have given me alot of good advice.  You have been great


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 10/26/2007 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi serafena,

I hope you are feeling okay, and I hope your daughter gets well sooner than later. 


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
.5mg Clonazepam, 50mg Trazodone
--Currently not on meds for bp--


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/26/2007 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,

Thanks for the good wishes. My daughter seems to be hanging in there just fine, of course. She's still favoring her arm, but when she's not paying attention, she'll put weight on it, etc., *laughing.* I sound like I'm talking about a horse. And don't think I didn't take notes about that story LFW. Holy cow. I felt ill just reading about it.

I'm feeling a little dizzy and headachy today, but alright otherwise, as far as meds go. Today is the day our town does it's Halloween celebration downtown (it's a small city) and I'm taking Rosie down there this afternoon. I've just taken a bunch of ibuprofen and I'm hoping my head lets up a little before then. But it's a beautiful day for it.

Need Advice: Frankly, I don't think I could teach full time any more. I was a full-time high school english teacher too: 9, 10, 12. But I was hospitalized 6 years ago. Since then, I haven't been able to go more than 6-7 months with full-time work, and certainly not at anything so stressful as teaching. I've taught most of the time since then, but as a part-time college professor.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 10/26/2007 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Serafena,

Just to clarify, you're asking what you should do since you feel you can't work full time?  Do you want to get back into teaching, you just feel you can't do it full time?  If so, like you said, you did do some part time teaching before...that would be my advice for you...look into something that could be part time.  I know a lot of college teaching could be that way...?

Not sure exactly what to tell you.....hugs!


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
.5mg Clonazepam, 50mg Trazodone
--Currently not on meds for bp--


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/27/2007 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogli --

You're sweet for answering, but no, I was responding to Need Advice, the member. He had asked a question earlier in the thread. No, I'm sure I couldn't teach full-time now. Teaching is intense work, and more than I can handle anyway.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


Casem
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 10/28/2007 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for clarifying, serafena, because I was thinking along the same lines as Mogli!

How are you doing on the lower dose of Effexor and the Abilify?

How was the Halloween celebration?


 
Casem
New Bipolar Supporter

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
26 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
Forum Information
Currently it is Tuesday, December 06, 2016 10:57 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,733,554 posts in 301,133 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151270 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, marciac12.
378 Guest(s), 13 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
marciac12, Scaredy Cat, mpost, dempsec5, smlafleur, Mad Martha, pmm73, ks1905, NCOBJIM, peanut307, Blu's Mama, iamamess, straydog


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer