You've been awfully quiet of late...how are you doing? Did you end up going to the hospital? I have been thinking about you and sending you good thoughts. Touch base when you can and let us all know you're okay and all about your "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" if you've had one. We're here for you. <<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>> LFW
LFW & everyone,
Sorry it's been so long, but this past week was all about finishing my second mod at school and so I had lots of exams and assignments. It was stressful, but it's done now. Today I am at my Mom's for a sleep over. I'll go back home tomorrow. It's total R&R today and tonight with my Mom. Much needed.
LFW, how kind of you to put a special post for me. I was definitely planning on posting my update today.
So, I do have really great news about my bf. Last weekend when things were really bad, he was amazing. Last week was so terrible. I was definitely in a mixed state and it was absolute torture. I don't think I've actually had such a hard time with symptoms before. It was constantly up and down several times a day that week, from one extreme mood to the other. So last weekend, I started to really breakdown about it. Probably mostly b/c I kept it all inside all week; and being so unstable (and silent about it) with my moods was really starting to worry me. So on the Friday night, I picked up my bf from work, and it was right when I started feeling my mood shift from feeling a bit high to crashing. I was upset, irritable, and on the verge of tears. When me and my bf got home, he sat me down on the couch and asked me what was going on. I hesitated, then he reassured me it was okay, and he wanted to help me. So I started crying and told him everything; how all week I was struggling and that I was really depressed. He held me and let me cry in his arms, and asked me what he could do to help me feel better that night. He also told me that he was sorry that I was going through this. It all meant the world to me as I am sure you all could imagine. I told him how incrediable he was with me, and how much I needed that. He really got me through it.
So I also have a pdoc appointment on Tuesday. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I am not going to forget that last week was so horrible even though this past week was better. The Trazodone is starting to wear off at night, so at the very least we may up the dose from 50 mg to 100 mg. I was also in this past week to my physician for my full physical. Everything went well there. The dizziness has settled. Hope it stays that way.
All in all, I am doing better, maybe a bit on the high side with my mood, but better. Thank you all so much for thinking of me, and I'll be on HW off and on all weekend.
I'm just really feeling positive about me and my bf. I've really felt more comfortable talking to him lately, that I can turn to him about all of this. That is really comforting me.
You're right though, it does get overwhelming with being bipolar and going to school. Sometimes it just gets to be too much. But all of you know how that feels. And that is also comforting for me, even though I wish none of us had to go through any of this.
Serafena, I hope that you are feeling better. I really hated not feeling well physically on top of dealing with my bp symptoms, so I know how that feels, and I hope your daughter is doing well.
Have a good weekend...
You have certainly hung in there! I'm glad you were able to release all that you have been going through with your BF. It's not good to hold things inside. I know...because I do it all the time and that is where I need to get better.
Anyway I'm so glad you are spending the night with your mom. Much needed rest and relaxation. Have a cup of tea with your mom. I just made myself a cup and I'm thinking of you. I'm still drinking the boring Lipton tea.
Enjoy your weekend.
Thanks so much. LOL re the tea...I just had mine, Mom had hers earlier. Ah, I love that you love tea too! Lipton makes yummy tea.
Yeah, it feels so much better to talk with my bf. It really isn't good to keep things in, it feel so much better to get them out. Thanks for the support Sukay.
I'm really glad to hear that things are going better for you since you talked with your bf - it really does help to let it out and I am so happy to hear that he was so supportive with you - that's awesome!
I can't imagine getting through all that you are doing and dealing with the BP symptoms, it can't be easy. I'm Agoraphic so I'm home 99% of the time, but even here it's hard to deal with the BP symptoms. But it's so much harder for you. I give you so much credit for getting through it all - it proves just how strong you are.
Keep up the good work!
A slip of the foot you may soon recover,
but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
Thanks so much for your kind post. Today I'm actually not feeling so well, it kinda feels like I may be crashing after being so up this past week. Ugh, and to think of how mixed and depressed I was the week before....This is what is so hard for me lately. I am so unstable.
I am thinking of talking to my pdoc about adding a stablizer when I see him Tuesday...Ugh, I hate the thought (I'm not a fan of the bp meds) but I feel I need to do something.
I too was agoraphobic years ago, so I know how hard that is. I feel your pain with that. It's strange b/c I was at home for several months this past year before I got back into school and after a while, my bp symtpoms were worse b/c I wasn't keeping busy or getting out of the house.
Anyway, hopefully the agorophobia is something you won't have to even deal with one day. And hopefully I am not heading into more depression. Tomorrow is my two year anniversary with my boyfriend. I know it will be a good day
I am so happy to hear of your lovely time with your mom. And I am even more thrilled to hear that you have such a loving, stable, supportive bf. Remember, life is demanding and crazy and hectic and overwhelming for everyone, so you are doing a FANSTASTIC job of managing your bp and school without meds.
Yes...all women know we do everything perfectly and to let someone else help means we would only have to go back later and do it over...hee-hee ! But seriously, life is too short...and sometimes the people closest to us need to feel needed. They need to know they can help us and maybe we need to let them help us once in awhile!
Remember what natural methods work best for you and always remember how important your pdoc is! Stay Strong!
Thank you for your post. It was very thoughtful and I appreciated it. Thanks for the pat on the back re my school, bp, no meds...It's hard, but I guess I'm doin' it somehow.
I am hoping the communication with my bf stays strong. There's no telling really when my next episode is, so I hope we can get through it together, b/c it was much easier that way.
Ah, it is good to let our loved ones help us. Because we can't be superwomen all the time. Especially with this illness, it is better for me to let my bf help when he asks, b/c maybe I could use the time to relax. I'm going to try and do that more often.
I am going to my pdoc tomorrow. I don't think I'm going back on the meds, but I will talk with him tomorrow about it.
As for your "mods" question; which was not silly, I've never heard the term before...It's just like a semester. I have 6 mods for my program, each are 5 weeks long each. So I have completed 2, I have 4 left. It's going by so fast!
Anyway, take care and again, thanks so much for the encouragement!