Welcome to HW. I have a lot of ideas that could help you tremendously.
I was dx'd with depression in 2000. Then, two years ago, that dx changed to BipolarII. Until a year ago, I always let the depression/bipolar have power over my entire life. Then my pdoc referred me to a support group at the hospital. I didn't really like the idea of talking to strangers, meeting them face to face every week, with my personal problems. But, it was amazing. The first few sessions were a little awkward, but after that, we all really talked about our bp and the group leaders helped us help each other through it. Or at least, how to get ourselves through the worst times, or just through the day. Whatever the case...I left there with something so much more powerful than medication. I know how to cope now.
And I think that is what you could really benefit from. Learning how to cope. It sounds to me like you have a problem with drinking. Don't beat yourself up about that. It sounds to me like you want to change that. That's a good place to start. I think if you could start seeing a psychiatrist, that would be the best thing. Then maybe the pdoc could refer you into programs to help you deal with your issues, and help you get better. It's all about getting solid professional support, and then using that support to get more support. (if that made any sense...)
It's great that you found HW. We can listen and provide feedback for you, and that will help.
I just know that while depression/anxiety and bp can all be so debilitating, we can take care of ourselves and help ourselves to feel a little better along the way. But in order to do that, we do need to do some work. And you can do it, believe me.
Some therapists probably aren't comfortable suggesting what meds might work, but they do have some knowledge about how some of the work. But they certainly don't have as much knowledge about the meds as a psychiatrist does. Your therapist would probably recommend some psychiatrists for you to check out - make sure to ask whohe/she would recommend for you.
As others have already said, the drinking is not helping you in any way. I know how hard it is to stop - I am an recovering alcoholic and haven't had a drink in almost 16 years. You need support to overcome this problem and coming here is the first step to doing that. If you can find a local AA meeting (they are free), as someone else has already suggested, you can go there to just listen to others speaking about their problems/life. Whenyou feel comfortable maybe will also be able to speak about your drinking problem. It's not an easy thing, but you really do need the support and DO NOT beat yourself up about this - please remember that it's an illness just like the BP.
I am very happy for you that you found this site, the Healing Well family is the best there is - very supportive, loving, caring, thoughtful and respectful. You don't get judged here, just supprt and help. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
A slip of the foot you may soon recover,
but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
Thanks so much for the kind post. I know I need to check into AA & now that I've read I don't HAVE to talk right away I am going to check into it. LOL that may seem like a goofy reason for not going to some people, but it's hard for me to open up to others. Especially strangers! However, I know I need as much support as possible and need to make myself do it. You guys have all been SO great!
Thanks for taking the time to post a message to me.
You are very welcome for the post and it doesn't sound silly to have that as a reason for not going, because it would also be a reason for me. So just it at your own pace and I know that once you have kicked the drinking out of your life, you will feel like a new person and I bet everyone around you will notice the difference too and will like the new you.
I watch TV, read, work in my phobia workbook, surf the web, work on MoodGym, then sleep - LOL