I too hope you are well. We are thinking of you.
I"m glad you replied. How long have you been on the Abilify now? I'm doing well on the Trazodone, that is, it is helping me sleep. But it's not helping the cycling, but my depressed episodes have decreased a little bit, so I know what you mean when you say " it's better than the depression." I was getting pretty depressed for long periods of time, so it feels better not to have that for now.
I've been on the Abilify for 3 or 4 months. The Abilify and Wellbutrin combo was the only thing that worked on my depression. I had been depressed to the point where I couldn't get out of bed for nearly 10 months. It started around this time last year.
The anxiety is bad, but the pdoc says that with all the drugs that have failed with me, it may be a trade off and we may just have to treat the anxiety and hope it fades with time.
On the upside, I sleep like a rock now. First time in my life, at least since I was a young child, that I've ever been able to sleep 8 hours at a shot consistently. I'm not sure I like it. I know it sounds silly, but I think I miss the days when I could run on 2 or 3 hours sleep and not feel tired at all.
Truly, if it weren't for the fear that the depression would return I'd chuck all these meds and go back to the way things were before the depression took over. I know they say it takes time to adjust, but I don't feel the same and I miss the intensity I felt before. I miss who I was. I wouldn't survive another depressive episode like the last though, and my kids need their mom so I just muddle through.