Welcome to Healingwell. I know there are people around here that are dealing with situations similar to yours and I am sure you will find the support you are looking for. Hopefully they will chime in soon.
In my opinion your ex-boyfriend is manipulating you (which is very comon in a lot of bi-polar cases) by making you cover up his illness for him. He needs to come to terms with it and start dealing with it before any healing can begin.
There are many previous posts on the boards with suggestions from people who live/date/are married to people who have bi-polar. Some of who are working hard at managing it, some who are finally starting to manage it and sadly some that ignore it. I'm sure reading those will give you the basic protocol on how to deal with someone who refuses to get treatment and take control back into their lives...for you and your ex-boyfriend.
Try reading the posts from Casem, Wickedlycoolcomfort, hawaiian17, whiskey, scared wife and need advise: starting on page 7 (and working backwards.)
You will find a lot of similarities and basically states that you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves and you need to decided if you are going to stay on the path of being miserable if they choose not too.
It sounds like he really needs to get into some talk therapy. Continue to post. We are here for you. This is just something to get started on. Wishing you the best!
Crohns Disease-Remicade since 1999, Methotrexate
Fibromyalgia & Arthritis
Bipolar & Panic/Anxiety-Trileptal, Xanax, Trazadone, Wellbutrin