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olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 11/13/2007 12:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,
I am reading these posts and I relate so much with scared wife. I have a bipolar husband (treated by MD not psychiatrist, and has been on Lexapro for 16 months.) My husband refuses to get help and I am living in a trapped relationship.

I am a professor and he is a realtor who works from home. Because of his condition, he never leaves the house. He spends all of his time in his office and takes people out occasionally for work. He is possessive with me, checks my calls, email, and never leaves my side when I come home.
11 months ago we separated but stayed living in the house together. We sleep in separate rooms, and our kids think life is supposed to be like this...
Our girls are 7 and 5, and our twin boys are 4 years old. He never thought I would ask for a divorce because of our children (where are you going to go? he would say...who would want someone with four kids? he would ask.) He said he will give me a divorce if he moves into our basement and turns it into an apartment. He says he will my life a living hell if I choose to leave because he will never be away from our kids, even for a few days a week in shared custody....

He has ups and downs. He cries and says his gun is at his mothers for fear he might kill himself...Minutes later he is saying i am vial and he doesn't want the marriage either. He says I am tearing the family apart because I will not forgive him for physically abusing me over a year ago. He is right.
I cannot forgive him. Unfortunately, unlike the other wives, I do not love him and I am ready to move on...
My neighbors fear that I will be in the papers dead tomorrow....and I am starting to get scared now.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 11/13/2007 11:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to healing well and i hope you find the support and comfort you need in your life right now. I am very concerned for you your children and would like to know if there is anywhere safe that you can go? Do you have any family in the area where you can stay for awhile or any relatives you can live with? He is unstable right now, and given the history of physical/mental abuse in your relationship, I don't think the environment is a safe environment for you or your children right now. You have so many options and you can be protected. He doesn't make the rules do, especially once the courts are involved and see that he is unstable and threatening to you and your children. I think once you are able to remove yourself from that environment, and surround yourself with loving supportive people who will be able to help you, you will make better decisions. It sounds as if he is being manipulative and cunning, just to get you to stay in an unhealthy, unstable environment....don't give him that power. You can chooose a better life for yourself until, if ever, he chooses to get help. In the meantime, YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN. Doyou feel comfortable going to the police? Do you have family/friends in the area?

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