Undone, as a wife to a BP, here is my pearl of wisdom. You have a condition and as long as you are responsible about owning your own issues that arise with it, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or embarrassed about. What I mean by that is...if you are bouncing; acknowledge it when it is happening so you are not taking it out on someone else when it is on the negative side (especially). Express to your loved ones and friends what you are feeling and acknowledge you understand that sometimes you will slip up and say something unkindly. But when that happens, you want them to tell you (if you are not catching yourself), so you can acknowledge it and straighten it out for them that it is not them you are angry, or frustrated with per say, just that you are feeling those things and you don't mean to take it out on them. It makes it much easier for the people around you to handle the swings and thoughts if it is acknowledged that it REALLY isn't them prompting it, it is the BP. Then they will be more willing to help & listen, vs. duck and cover. But the key is, know matter what is going on with the BP…THEY have to be the ones responsible about it. Does this make sense? When my husband stops and says…”I’m not mad at you….I am just so frustrated right now…I didn’t mean to snap at you…etc.” I am much more able to not feel attacked by it because when he acknowledges it, even the verbiage he chooses changes. It is no longer about me, but in general a venting he needs a sympathetic ear to listen to. THAT I can happily do for the man I love.
And Olivia is correct; you should speak to your dr. and make sure he knows what you are going through at every step. Hang in there, the right meds will eventually be found. LFW