I am so sorry you are feeling so lonely. Please know that you are not alone. This disorder is so devastating and it can destroy so many lives....that is why the Healing Well family is here for you....for support and understanding. So many people are going through similar situations or have been exactly where you are....they can share their stories....or simply share in your pain.
The person you love is in there...she is just being taken over right now by this terrible disorder. Read all that you can about bp so that you can try to understand it rather than let it consume you. Once you feel you have some understanding, rather than letting it control you, you may feel a bit stronger. You need to be strong for your family....as impossible as that may seem now. Knowledge is the only power over the disorder. LFW has helped me to understand....don't let someone who isn't currently rationale...define YOUR reality. Your wife isn't necessarily stable right now....don't let her define your reality for you and your family.
You are in my thoughts....Stay Strong!