havent posted in awhile but im really down

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bunnypucker
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 494
   Posted 11/19/2007 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
its been quite a while since i posted but i read pretty much every day. ill give you a brief little history of whats goin on.  im BP1 and i started getting manic a little while ago. i was having nightmares that would wake me up into a massive anxiety attack. my pdoc raised my geodon however and they pretty much went away. then my neuro put me on a new med for my tremors and now im extremely depressed and apathetic. everythinhg is an effort, and i just cant concentrate. my pdoc thinks its the mew med for the tremors and she raised my lamictal but i just feel like i cant wait for it to work. feeling this hopeless darins me and every day i get up thinking how am i going to make it thru another day. i truly dont know. anyhow i had therapy today and that helped a little but i needed to tell people who understand, as i know all of you do. how do you distract yourselves when it gets this bad? i just need some friendly words, literary hugs i guess. my family is sympathetic but they dont understand. so i need to just talk to someone who does.
so thank you for letting me go on
 
bunny
Crohn's Disease Diagnosed 12/24/03 (Thats Right, Merry Christmas to me!)
Bipolar
Probable MS
 
Im 26 years old, and am currently only taking remicade, protonix and evil prednisone for my CD. am on quite the cocktail for my BP however: Geodon, Lamictal, Celexa, Buspar and Klonopin.
Im also on lipitor for high cholesterol caused by a prior BP med. im on fentanyl patches for pain also, and i take some meds prn for my allergies, asthma, and migrianes.
 
"We are all worms but I do believe i am a Gloworm"
^always makes me smile^
 
 
 


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 11/19/2007 8:30 PM (GMT -7)   

bunnypucker,

Yep, haven't seen you around here for a while.  I am sorry you are having issues with your meds, hopefully it will get worked out soon.  I went through that a few months ago, and completely understand.  I am a little better now, and I hope the best for you.  Hang in there and know we are here for you.


Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
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"Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement."


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 11/21/2007 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   

bunnypucker,

I am sorry you are depressed.  I am too.  And you bring up a good point--what do we do when this happens?  How can we get through it?

It really depends on how bad the depression is.  Lately for me, it's been crippling, and so coping has been very difficult.  But I do try.

My advice to you...

It is good to distract yourself a bit while in this state.  Distraction, so that you can get to relaxation.  Try to just take things hour by hour.  If doing relaxing things helps you feel even a tiny bit better, do those things.  Reach out to your professional support to help get you through this.  Reach out to your loved ones who support you.  It's not the greatest being alone when we feel this way. 

I hope this helps you a little, since I am in such a state right now, it's hard for me to even think of everything right now.  I will check in on you (this post)...Let us know how you are doing.

 

Hugs.


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
.5mg Clonazepam, 50mg Trazodone
--Currently not on meds for bp--


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/21/2007 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi bunnypucker --

My meds have been a mess too lately and I've been pretty acutely mixed. It's nasty. All that's really worked for me has been to work a lot at the bookstore, midless physical moving books around, helping customers, organizing things, that sort of work. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling icky. I hope you get back on top of it quickly and I'm glad you came back when you needed a hand.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


bunnypucker
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 494
   Posted 11/23/2007 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   

thank you guys so much for responding, i really needed it. some days are just ok and some days are like you, crippling. thanksgiving sucked really bad. i have crohns so eating is a huge issue for me and for some reason that day the depression was really really bad. i watched the parade and i was ok but as i was getting ready to go to grammas it hit me like a truck. couple that with my stomach really hurting me and feeling sick i was a mess. i tried laying down and that didnt work and i ended up sitting in the living room by myself crying for like 15 minutes until i finally went to my family and asked them to move cars so i could go home.

i just feel like crying all the time, and i am listless. i do have my distractions, i try to get out even if it is to the grocery store and i knit a lot, i really like that. i have therapy again next week so thatll help. im also going tanning and taking viatmin d to see if thatll help.

 

but thanks for your support. i hate it that i come back only when i get bad becasue i feel like i abandon you guys. but i do appreceiate the kind words and the understanding, that is what i need most. someone who undertands most. hopefully my meds will kick in soon and help. if not in 3 weeks i go to see my pdoc and if im not better by then, im going to go off the medication for my tremors. its a hard decision becasue it has helped but its decreasing the effectiveness of my head meds and my mental health is more important to me.

 

ah, oh well thanks for being a sounding board, i needed to get it all out.

 

bunny


Crohn's Disease Diagnosed 12/24/03 (Thats Right, Merry Christmas to me!)
Bipolar
Probable MS
 
Im 26 years old, and am currently only taking remicade, protonix and evil prednisone for my CD. am on quite the cocktail for my BP however: Geodon, Lamictal, Celexa, Buspar and Klonopin.
Im also on lipitor for high cholesterol caused by a prior BP med. im on fentanyl patches for pain also, and i take some meds prn for my allergies, asthma, and migrianes.
 
"We are all worms but I do believe i am a Gloworm"
^always makes me smile^
 
 
 


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 11/24/2007 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
"We are all worms but I do believe i am a Gloworm"
 
Bunnypucker, That makes me smile too! Luv it! tongue
 
I hope you feel better. I know you are trying so hard. I'm sure your therapy appointment will help a lot.
 
Hang in there! sad
~Sukay~
 
Crohns Disease-Remicade since 1999, Methotrexate
Fibromyalgia & Arthritis
Bipolar & Panic/Anxiety-Trileptal, Xanax, Trazadone, Wellbutrin

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