bad day,,opinions...

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follownhosea
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/19/2007 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   
well tonight was one of those great nights(sarcasm),,,had one of those in bed chats,,,wife has been a little different for a few months and tonight we had the talk........just to backtrack,,wife is bp//was on celexa 40mg with success for about 2.5 years,,minor manic and light depressive episodes but she was acting like the woman i love. had a kid,,for about 18months was o.k.,,more down but attribute that to having a crying baby. She is one of those that says we arent having any more kids.last six months she has seemed more symptomatic again. she told her doc and they upped her to 60 mg's of celexa. basically to keep it short, i feel the stay at home mom thing isnt what she thought it would be. misses working. add that stress and also my observations. Distant from me,painting sad people again(she draws/paints) generally down. we went to bed and had the talk. she told me she had love for me. i asked and actually got the honest answers. she said she has love for me but wouldnt say she loves me. she told me that i deserve better and dont deserve a woman like her. I told her i love her and thats why we are together. i told her that i think half of her problem is annoyed about her situation/unfulfilled and the other is her meds arent just right yet. man i'm bummed,,,,she just doesnt understand. i told her that she was acting like she did when she first lost it/deconstructed her life/when she was first diagnosed. but of course it wasnt that extreme as the celexa is keeping her together somewhat........so..........does any of this ring a bell,,,,,,any of you out there think or have heard that the pregnancy hormones/changes could have made the 40mg not enough,,,is it the added stress of a kid,,,,,,,,,or can overtime meds have to be increased,,i should be sleeping now but im just all torn up feeling like someone flushed the toilet,,,,,,im typing,,and shes in lala land(took a clonazepam)

olivia of course
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 11/20/2007 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
follownhosea,

Normally, an antidepressant like celexa will not be given to a bipolar person without a mood stabilizer. Celexa, might/will help her symptoms if she was depressed, but will not control her moods or manic symptoms. Is there a reason why she is only on Celexa alone? Just curious.
Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
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serafena
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/21/2007 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hosea:

She needs therapy as well as drugs. As a woman with a 27-month old, I can ASSURE you that having a young child is complicating her situation. I have been stumbling through exactly this morras recently. I'll write more soon... But get her in therapy if she isn't already.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


follownhosea
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/21/2007 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   
well thanks for the replies,,,,,,olivia-no clue why there isnt a mood stabilizer,,,,they just have only prescribed celexa and the clonezapam,,,
serafena-thanks for the insight,,i look foward to your reply.........

we talked a little yesterday.....yesterday she looked worn out,,,she said she was in fact worn out from dealing with it..she told me she doesnt have a problem telling her doc she needs something different. a prodded some more tactfully. she called her doc and they told her the earliest opening she had was jan. 2nd,,,her next appt. was originally jan 10th,,not too much help. we have a bunch of extra celexa,,i know none of us are docs but should she try going up from 60 to 80 mg to see if it helps.............................she seems better this a..m.,,probably because shes out of the house all day,,,i talked with her best friend yesterday,,she said she seems immature about life,,meaning she "wishes " she was on her own and didnt have any of this,,,but she knows she has a better life than most,,,,,,,,,,,,,,at least she will be distracted by family for the next few days

follownhosea
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/21/2007 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
well this afternoon she came home in a wonderful mood,,,,work wasnt fun,,(she works one day a week for 7 hours)...we talked for a couple minutes,,not to serious though,,she basically said it doesnt matter what medicine she takes because shes not crazy and no matter what she takes she not going to be happy......she also said she knows she cant handle marriage and a kid. ...how come when a person gets in a funk they like to believe/convince themselves that they never were happy...........its like all the good times vanish or they make excuses that they were a mirage

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/22/2007 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay, follownhosea, I'll try and explain a couple of things. I don't know your wife, so I can only guess at what's going on there, but I can try and explain some general things about the condition of bipolar.

1. Depression is nothing at all like a funk. The good times absolutely do vanish. Did you ever see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? Okay, I know it's silly-- but go with me. When the dementors come by, Ron says "It's like I never would be happy again." THAT'S depression. Nope. Nothing good ever did happen and never will again. You and I and anyone outside the depression can tell a depressed person that's not true, and it isn't true, but inside a depression is ABSOLUTELY IS TRUE. And it is, because it's a sadness produced partly by reality (she probably is sad) and partly by a chemical. And until you get that chemical imbalance treated, she's going to believe it.

2. That sadness is complicated by being the mother of an 18 month old. Being a stay at home mom is HARD. If she only gets out of the house on her own for 7 hours a week and that 7 hours is crappy, better believe she's gonna be in a bad mood. I too was a professional woman who chose to stay home. It was good for a while but the whole time it has been a struggle and the mood disorder absolutely complicates it. Staying at home with a baby is hard for emotionally healthy women, let alone those who have mood disorders. The boredom, the loneliness, the passion you feel for your child, the jealousy for your husband's career, the anger, these things all bubble up every day. Stir into a fine Guilt Stew. We are just now getting our 28 month old into daycare so I can go back to work. I'm good and manic. I can't take it any more. My husband and I fight nearly other day. It's been hard. and there's no way I could have done it without having seen a therapist every other week and sometimes more. I would have committed acts of violence. :-)

I hope this helps you at least see a little more from her point of view, if nothing else. I absolutely do sympathize with you, just as I do with my poor husband. He's in therapy too, to help him deal with me, among other things. tongue
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare

Post Edited (serafena) : 11/22/2007 6:00:20 PM (GMT-7)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/22/2007 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
By the way -- absolutely don't up her meds without talking to the doc. Don't mess with her anti d's -- you're liable to make her manic.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


follownhosea
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/22/2007 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the input,,,i absolutely appreciate it,,,it did make a lot of sense,,,,,,,,,,the distractions of today are helpful,,,although i tried to give her a hug and she said dont touch me in front of half her family,,,i just laughed it off,,,,,but i really appreciate your input,,it made my thanksgiving
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