need help and someone to talk to and listen please

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lilac1985
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/18/2007 7:30 PM (GMT -7)   
HI!  I have been told that I might want to talk to someone about my problems but I dont like talking to straingers face to face about my personal life.  I am hoing to talk to someone here as a steping stool to see some one and talk.  I think I might be bipolar and I know that I have symptoms of ocd and somethimes I get anxiety or panic attacks too.  I just need some one to talk to.  Thanks.   
 
Lilac1985

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/18/2007 8:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lilac1985,

Welcome to Healingwell. I hope we can help you talk through some of your concerns.

What's on your mind?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


lilac1985
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/21/2007 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
god theres alot to talk about.  My mother is bipolar and has a multipersonality disorder and anxiety attacks.   my recently x boyfriend is bipolar and has a problem with women cuz of his x and the stuff she put him through, and he would always yell at me and take his anger for her out on me.  It took me 9 months to get that through to him.  we are still real close and have decided that we need to fix each other before we can be together again.  he was the one who suggessted that I go see someone.  He told me that I have control problems, like i have to have everything my way, which I think is cuz of my ocd.  And I'm to up tight and need to relax, I am 22 and have the mind set of a 30yr. old.    i would love to tell you more but I gotta go to work.  bye.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/22/2007 12:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow. Yes, it does sound like you have a lot on your mind.

Well, one place to start: one phrase in your paragraph sticks out at me, "we need to fix each other." Do you mean you need to fix yourselves? Because you can't fix each other. We've all tried it. There are countless examples of it on this board. We can't fix one another, we can only fix ourselves. It's a cliche but it's true. When you say you have OCD, do you mean it? Have you had a diagnosis of it, or are you saying you're just very uptight?

You mentioned you think you're bipolar and your mother is bipolar. Have you talked to a doctor about your concerns? That would be my first step, and I really would do it soon. I'm sure you've seen enough nastiness with your mom's illness to know that when it goes unmedicated for long it's a lot harder to control. If you're OCD as well, you must be having a very hard time just getting through the day.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


Blessing Waters
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 12/22/2007 11:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Lilac1985, you sound worried and confused and scared. Am I right? Who wouldn't be when questioning yourself about possible mental illness? I understand you disliking talking to strangers about your personal life, it can make you feel unsafe. You've taken a big step by admitting that here and good for you for taking the risk! It means you care enough about yourself to hope for better experiences in your life. I would really encourage you though, to find a safe professional to talk to, as well. You don't have to tell the person every single thing about you the first time you see someone and it is very okay to say that it is difficult for you do it. Maybe someone you know and trust could recommend a good doctor or therapist. You can even call a crisis line (look in the front pages of your phone book) and ask them if they can tell you who to call to get help with finding one. At some point, a psychiatrist will need to be the one who makes a formal diagnosis.

You've been exposed to mental illness all your life. Try to hang onto your own experience, how you see yourself. There is wisdom inside of you about this if you listen closely and learn to trust it. Take things slowly and try to be gentle with yourself. I am sure you will find people here who will offer kind support so I'm glad you have joined us. One thing that I know has helped many people get to know themselves is through writing in a private journal. You can say whatever you want, whenever you feel like it and it doesn't matter if makes much sense at the time or if words are spelled right or the writing is completely messy - the only thing that matters is that you get difficult feelings outside of your body and hopefully that will be calming. You can go back and read what you wrote anytime, or never again. It's just a suggestion you could think about.

I hope you don't mind me sending you a hug, because it sounds like you could use one. If that's not safe, teddy bears can work, too. Take good care of yourself, Lilac1985.

Blessing Waters


lilac1985
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/6/2008 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
hello again.  When I said we needed to fix each other I ment ourselves.  And no I haven't been formally dignosed with OCD, but my stepmother has given me a test for it before and yes she is a doctor.  And yes I am still uptight too.  I mean I keep getting told by him that I have a problem, but i don't feel I do and from everything that has happened It seems to me like he is the one with the problem and to affraid to admitt that he finally has a girl that hasn't cheated on him or done him wrong and he is scared and its easier for him to blame everything on me instead of taking a risk cuz he don't want to get hurt again.  Im so confused that I don't know what to do.

Blessing Waters
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 1/6/2008 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello lilac1985, lilacs have a very special meaning for me, just besides being lovely, delicate and so beautifully scented. Your name drew me to your post and I'm glad. Being confused about something that you wish could change is very hard to endure. I was given an idea that has helped me sometimes, it's not a magic problem solver but it has helped me sort out at least some of my thoughts. On a blank sheet of paper, divide it into four by drawing two lines - one top to bottom, the other side to side, like a cross. At the top of each box write one of these four statements:
This is what I know (or, This is what I think I know - we can never be certain)
This is what I want to know
This is what I want to change
This is what I can change

You could also invent other questions that make sense to you. You might not like doing this kind of thing, it's just an idea. I'm pretty confused myself right now; maybe I might do this tonight. I probably wouldn't have thought of it if I hadn't been wanting to help you, so thanks for your post. Most important though, is that you have asked for support and I hope that writing here helps. Best of care.
Blessing Waters

lilac1985
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/7/2008 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you blessing waters for that idea i that i will try that later.  thanks again!

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/8/2008 4:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Great suggestion Blessing Waters, I will store that away for a moment I am struggling to process something. And keep in mind, I am not BP, so I think that is sage advise for anyone!!!! Thank you. And Lilac, hang in there, clarity comes when you do the work to get their, and sometimes when you quiet yourself enough to hear the answers to the questions, even if it just comes to you as a whisper. Hugs, LFW
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