my dear friend...

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Curly9878
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 165
   Posted 8/7/2008 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
So my friend had breat cancer a few years ago...   4 years ago actually...
Now, it is back!    Her surgeon noticed that her nipple didnt look right.    So, none of the mamograms showed anything wrong...   That in itself is so scary.
 
Well, now...   I am trying to support her...  She doesnt have a big support system...   I just do not know what to do for her.
 
She is going to get a masectomy...   Is she going to be off work for awhile?  
 
I mean, she was taking these pills that she was supposed to be on for 5 years to prevent the reuccurance....    But it is back...
 
So...   I am just kind of venting...   I dont know how to help.     I wish I knew what is going to happen.
 
whew...   okay thanks for listening...
28 Yrs
Michigan
Newly diagnosed with Crohns


gma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2921
   Posted 8/8/2008 6:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Curly,

It is always painful when a good friend or family member is diagnosed. No treatment for cancer is foolproof or guaranteed to work. Mammograms and sonograms are not perfect diagnostic tools, either. Studies are improving diagnosis and medications every day. Recently the discussion has been that breast cancer is a chronic disease to be treated as diabetes, etc. A mastectomy is not the worst surgery to go through physically, altho mentally it is difficult for a woman. Unless she has reconstruction done at the same time she will not be off work very long.

The way to help is to be her best friend and let her talk it out with you if she will. My daughter had a recurrence last year and is under treatment but she doesn't like to talk about it. So we all try to let her know we are ready and willing to help her in any way and then let her call the moves. That seems to help. If you have any questions, come back and let us know. Tell her to get report copies, her pathology report from surgery and any other tests she has including blood tests. It is her right to have the information and she should keep a file for comparison to future tests. You have to be proactive in your own cause when you have any illness.

Hugs, MK


barkyboys
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1564
   Posted 8/10/2008 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry that your friend's cancer has come back. Just let your friend know that, whatever she needs, you will be there for her. One of the hardest things to do is to "act normal," but that is probably what your friend really needs. She needs to be able to cry with someone, and to laugh with them as well. She will need you to be able to forget about the cancer and help her enjoy her life, as well as to support her when she can't think about anything else herself.

That is a tall order, but you came here to find ways to help her, and only a wonderful friend would care enough to seek out advice.

And you could tell her about this great website here that Peter so generously shares with us. If your friend doesn't have much of a support system, she could probably use a bunch of women who have been where she is.

Hope your Crohn's disease is proving manageable. Not an easy disease you are living with. You know, some doctors call a recurrence of breast cancer a "chronic disease." It is often manageable for a long time. I hope you have your friend for a long time to come!

Hugs...
BEV
"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."  --Charles Schulz


Curly9878
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 165
   Posted 8/10/2008 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks so much!   Your comments mean a lot and I will take your advise..

We went to the plastic surgeon on Friday.   She has to have muscle removed from her stomach and put on her chest since she has previously had radiation...

Her MRI is on Tuesday and we will go back for the results one week after that...    UGhh I am kind of scared to go with her to that.   But I will, if she wants me to...    It just kind of sucks.  confused

Okay well...   Thanks again.  


28 Yrs
Michigan
Newly diagnosed with Crohns


babyseeester
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 826
   Posted 8/11/2008 2:25 PM (GMT -7)   
You sound like a great friend.  Going with her to appointments and just being there for her means a lot.  I hope her surgery goes well.  My mastectomy was the easiest of all the ones I had.  It sounds like the reconstruction she will have is a Tram flap, which is what I had.  A few others have had it, also, although I think I am the biggest fan of it.  I would do it all over again.  It's a difficult recovery, but well worth it, if you have a good plastic surgeon.  If she has any questions, ask away.  Give her my best.  I will be thinking of her.
L & H,
Kathy


Tavish
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 8/11/2008 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Curly-
Where in Michigan are you? I am in metro-Detroit.

Lori

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