Need advise to help friend thru mastectomy

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smile1967
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted Today 11:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, I am usually on the Crohn's forum but I need your advise. My very close friend will be having her mastectomy on Wed. Dec.10.
From what I know so far, she has invasive ductal, estrogen fed? type of cancer. She also just got the lastest biopsy back of her bleeding nipple and it is a very rare form of Paget's Disease also. I am not sure how large the tumor is. They will now not be doing the sentinel node biopsy and will be doing the "normal auxillary node" resection. Sorry for my lack of medical terminology!
 
I will be and have been helping her get things ready around the house etc. before surgery. Helping her fix up her bedroom so it will be her cozy comfort zone.
 
I was just wondering if you could give me any advise at all, how I can help her? What are helpful things to have at the hospital or at home?  Helping her cope with what to expect recovery wise? (She is not having reconstruction done at this time).
 
Thanks for your help,
Shelley
  • 41 yr old farmwife!! and mom of boys 11 and 9
  • resection surgery Feb. 2008
  • Pentasa, Entocort (when needed), cipralex,probiotic,fibre supplement
 


barkyboys
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1564
   Posted 12/8/2008 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Honestly, the best things people did for me: feeding my family while I was in the hospital, inviting my kids over after school so I could rest, and probably the most difficult to ask for help with is...we usually come home with drains, and bathing is really difficult with the surgery and the drains to contend with. Things like running the vacuum are difficult, especially if the surgery is on the dominant side (right-handed, and a right side mastectomy, eg) Your friend probably shouldn't do any heavy lifting for awhile, to minimize the possibility of lymphadema. hope all goes well for her. Just having a friend like you to share the burden of her diagnosis with is wonderful. Just be sure to treat her as you always would...not someone you feel sorry for. Sometimes that is hard, but what she needs most is someone to treat her like they always have...someone to laugh with as well as to cry with, someone to share your problems with as well as listen to hers. We all, I think, just wanted our lives to be as normal as possible.

Good luck to you and your friend!

BEV
"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."  --Charles Schulz


smile1967
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 12/8/2008 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the the advice, Bev. You are so right about feeding the family, I have already frozen a few meals in advance. When I had my bowel resection in Feb. the best friends to have were the ones that came and took my kids, dropped off meals and scrubbed the toilet on their way out the door!! "treat her as you always have" is a good reminder. I think this is where I am struggling with is how to help her thru the emotions, I can handle the hands on helping part, it is the watching her be scared and grieve the loss of her breast, that I feel so helpless about. I know just being there and listening is all you can do.
  • 41 yr old farmwife!! and mom of boys 11 and 9
  • resection surgery Feb. 2008
  • Pentasa, Entocort (when needed), cipralex,probiotic,fibre supplement
 

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