Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place...I'm not sure if it belongs in a 'cancer' section or one for depression..
At 14 I was diagnosed with cancer, a solid tumour in my pelvis and abdomen.I've had Chemo, surgery (Including a full hysterectomy, ovaries gone too...), radiation, stem cell transplant. I seem to be in full remission.
In addition my grandfather and uncle have passed from cancer since 05.
I am now 19.
Why am I still so sad all of the time?
I keep using my cancer as an exucse for everything and I just can't move past it. Since my diagnosis I've had problems with depression, now I'm on Fluxotine. I thought I was getting better but lately I am angry for no reason or get extremely angry at everything. My doctor is hesitant to try me on something else, because of my age. I don't know what to do. I seriously feel like I'm going crazy but I don't feel like the Dr is taking me seriously or even wants to help. All she has done was reduce the dose which has only made me return to crying all the time.
I've met so many wonderful people who are really trying to live their lives, but relapse and die. I feel so guilty that I'm not enjoying life. Sometimes I feel so bad it hurts, and I don't know how to make it stop.
My post is confusing, I'm sorry. I just keep adding stuff wherever when I think of it. I dont feel like I have friends, and I hate watching everyone else having fun. I do have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me to bits and I love him, but sometimes it doesnt feel like enough..
I dont really know what my question is...
How can I feel better? It just hurts so much...