Update on Mel 10/22

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Date Joined Jul 2003
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   Posted 10/22/2004 9:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Boy, is it me or is that new anti-spam feature a P.I.T.A? I don't have the energy or patience to wait it out (when I read & want to reply quickly) so I just leave. I understand the reasoning but grrrrrrr LOL
I spoke with Mel's MIL and her best friend visiting from W. VA. Mel has been having a lot of pain. Originally it was in her back but now her head seems to be bothering her the most. She is barely taking anything by mouth & has difficulty swallowing. She sleeps most of the time, most likely due to the drugs she is getting for pain.
She gets the pain meds in gel form applied to her wrist so that she doesn't need injections, since she doesn't swallow well. I am relieved at that.
I told her friend, Rhonda (they met in the military YEARS ago) to give her a long hug, a kiss on the cheek & to whisper in her ear that we love her and that she is always in our thoughts & prayers. She said she would be glad to do that for us. She has been making a point to fly in about once a month to be with Mel.
MIL said they are keeping a really tight rein on anyone they let in from Hospice. MIL said that Mel's DHH has counseled both boys (Kai, 24yo & Ian 5yo) on the inevitable, as he has his Master's in Social Work. He & MIL don't want any negativity in the house, since they know what is happening & don't feel it would be good to have Hospice add to it.
I talked to Ian. School has been a wonderful thing for him! His speech is as clear as a bell now. He wanted to know all about the fat cat sleeping in my lap & laughed at her name ("Boots!? Like on your FEEEEET??").  When he asked me where I was & I told him Michigan, he told me that HE was in Oklahoma. Then he ran off to watch Friday night cartoons lol.
My heart just aches for Mel. I know she wants to be there with her family, but not like this. One of her fears was of dying too slowly. Months ago, they told her family "anytime now."
I am not a praying woman but I know that SHE is.  I wish for her pain-free days and nights. I wish for her lucidity in her waking moments with her family. I wish for her PEACE and strength through all of this. And I wish for her to continue to feel our love sent in all ways.
Hugs, Michele
May this disease NEVER be allowed to take another wife, mother, daughter, sister, lover or friend........
I cannot control the wind, but I CAN adjust my sails 
You can choose to look UP or DOWN--it's all about putting perfume on a pig. It is still a pig and it STILL stinks, but it stinks BETTER!
Breast Cancer Chronicle Demystifying BC, one step at a time

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   Posted 10/22/2004 11:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, Michele. I wish what you wish. Nicely said.

Hugs to all of us-

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Date Joined Jul 2003
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   Posted 10/22/2004 11:27 PM (GMT -6)   
All I can say is "Amen." Michele, thanks for being our contact person. Gosh, I hate this disease. Hugs to all, Lauri
"Go confidently into the direction of your dreams. Live the life you always imagined" Thoreau
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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   Posted 10/22/2004 11:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Praying for Mel. May she feel peace and love.

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Date Joined Jul 2003
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   Posted 10/22/2004 11:51 PM (GMT -6)   


Thanks for the updates sweetie. It breaks my heart to think of what Mel and that dear family are going thru. It just isn't fair!!!!!!!!!

Love ya,
"What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? It is like robbing the world of the sun"

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   Posted 10/23/2004 1:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Also, AMEN. L&H, Gail
 It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.   Elisabeth Kubler Ross

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   Posted 10/23/2004 6:26 AM (GMT -6)   
I guess AMEN is really all that can be said. L&H Joyce
People are like tea bags, you have to put them in hot water to see how  strong they are!

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   Posted 10/23/2004 6:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Mikki, thanks for letting us know how Mel is. She is amazing and will be kept in my prayers.
-§»§«:*´`³¤³´`* Vicky §«:*´`³¤³´`*§«§-

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Date Joined Jul 2003
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   Posted 10/23/2004 9:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Mikki..Thanks so much for the update. Mel has been on my mind so much these past few
days. I am glad Ian is okay and that he sounds so good. I really wish they would let
Hospice help out..when it is your family that you are counseling, maybe it is just to close.
Personally, I never though of Hospice as being negative...

My thoughts and prayers are the same as yours....

Sometimes it is a slender thread, Sometimes a strong,
stout rope; She clings to one end, I the other;
She calls it friendship; I call it hope....

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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 10/23/2004 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Michele, thank you for the update on Mel. You are a blessing and a good friend to her and us. Adding my "Amen" to your lovely prayer.

"A sister filled with joy preaches without preaching.  Joy is a need and a power for us . . . for it makes us always ready to go about doing good." 
                              Mother Teresa

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Date Joined Jul 2003
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   Posted 10/24/2004 12:05 AM (GMT -6)   
To which I can only say "amen." Thanks, Michele, for the update. Hugs, Luci
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me lay an invincible summer.  Albert Camus

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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 10/24/2004 10:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Cathi, I agree 110% about Hospice. While it signifies the end may be approaching, they can do good things. While I am sure Mel's DH counseled the boys as a wonderful caring father, who also has a social work degree, the value that Hospice could potentially bring is priceless.

Who knows, maybe the hospice team in her area is not good enough, and they might fear negative comments or substandard care. I don't want to second guess them, as I cannot know what they are going through. I hope that Mel's family continues to have the strength they need to continue to make the right decisions for their family.

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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2921
   Posted 10/25/2004 5:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Mikki for posting about Mel. She seems to continue to be the incredible lady she has always been. Just unbelieveable what this girl has gone through. Ian was really a charmer when Jo-Ann and I were there. He has very nice manners as does his big brother, too. Sorry you had computer problems. Hugs MK

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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 10/25/2004 8:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I want to add my thanks, Mikki. I agree with your prayer. I want peace and comfort and no more suffering. I pray that the medicine can keep her out of pain. I want her to have time to share with her family pain free. I'm glad about the no injections. As strange as it sounds, that is always one of my biggest concerns, more than some of my surgeries.
I hope that she hears the I love you's, Di
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