Oy! What a thing to read. I knew that's what the chest ct was for, but to see it in writing was something else altogether. It scared me. I do realize it's a good thing, that as far as I know I don't have mets and am so fortunate, but it got close today, reading that. I've been in denial about the ct scan, I really think it's nothing, but it is possible, and that possibility was really real today.
Almost didn't have the CT scan, someone at the hospital called my cell and said the ins didn't authorize it yet and cancelled my appointment when I was on my way from the mammogram in NYC. So instead of taking in a movie I took a detour over to my onc's office and the office manager took care of it and I was in there. They had been giving me a runaround, it seems. The hospital, not the insurance. They had the authorization, before cancelling they had switched sites on me, too. said a machine was down at first, then when the appointment got "re" scheduled (for the same time) they sent me not to the replacement place, but the hospital. I didn't care where it was being done, just that it got done.
Man those mammos are painful. I also had a ductal check done by my breast surgeon, who saw me when I didn't have an appointment again. He's so great!!! I had to sit with some warm bags on my breasts, two terry cloth sacks of warm flax seeds draped around my neck hung down, laying on the upper part of my breasts for fifteen minutes. Then I had to massage my breasts for fifteen minutes, to get the ducts active if they were. The nurse then checked for fluid coming out of the nipples with suction, to see if they need to do the new procedure, ductal something. I didn't have any fluid, so they didn't have to do it. My surgeon said that's probably because the Tamoxifen is doing it's job. He also discussed the hysterectomy/oopher idea with me, suggesting not having surgery, but stopping tamoxifen and going on a aromatace inhibitor plus Lupron, to preserve my estrogen and my bone health. He told me to discuss it with my onc, who wasn't in today, but he'll call me tomorrow night. I think that's the stuff that he said I wasn't appropriate for, but I'm not sure.
I had a really really lousy valentine's day, and the fight's not over. I'm not going to get into what he did, but I could use some wisdom and peace. It's been a tough couple of days.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius