one for the medical books

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coopfesta
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Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 1373
   Posted 2/25/2005 5:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I really didn't know if I should post this, it's really upsetting, and could be to others on the board for moral reasons.
 
I found out Wednesday at 5:00 that I'm almost 17 weeks pregnant.  Just before conceiving I had specifically talked to my Ob-Gyn about this, because, because I wanted to get off the diaphram if I wasn't going to get pregnant.  He had said "you are definately in menopause."  My mom was there and remembers it.  I said I was going to go off the diaphram and he said "don't worry, you are definately in menopause."  He did an FSH test, which it turns out isn't conclusive about the functioning of the ovaries, and he was using that, the fact that I hadn't had a period since October '03, and that I'm on Tamoxifen to judge that it was okay to go off the diaphram.  A sonogram of the "ovarian burst" confirmed the pregnancy Wednesday evening.  He's calling it the miracle baby.  I want to kick his a** across the room.
 
I went to my oncologist yesterday morning and he pulled up the FDA's page on tamoxifen and pregnancy.  It recommends staying on barrier contreceptives while on Tamoxifen.  It also says that there is a big risk, based on cases, not a study persay, of birth defects if on tamoxifen for two months before and during pregnancy.  I'm now over four months pregnant and have been on Tamoxifen since May '04.  That's driving the recommendation to terminate, which is being planned now, but they can't get me in so fast. 
 
I had seen that specialist a few weeks ago about about the hyster/oopher question, and he called me last night and is going to help me get into the hospital in Westchester sooner than they were saying, so I don't have to live like this for another 8 days.  I can't keep it, The baby is very probably defected and it's unknown what this does to my cancer recurrance risk.
 
I'm faced with the decision of reporting the ob-gyn to New York's physician diciplinary board and/or suing him.  If Imade a mistake, I would be very grateful if someone brought it to my attention gave me a chance before reporting it, but I'm also thinking it's the responsible thing to do, report it.  I'm very emotional right now, and don't know if I would be rash to report him for being negligent, or even if he was, it was my decision to go off the diaphram, but it was with his knowledge and he did not advise me not to.  I did not go off it until that evening, after he said that, because he said that.  I conceived three weeks later.  I'm not telling people, except mom.  I'm afraid.  I will tell people that I'm getting an ovary checked out, and may get other surgery, because I'm DEFINATELY getting an oopher and/or hyster after this.
 
My colleagues are throwing a party for me tomorrow night.  I have been looking forward to this for a month.  I'm so upset now, it's really putting me off.  I"m seeing my shrink this morning.  Bob's like not here, he actually went fishing and may not even make the party until several hours late, if he does.  I am really upset.


"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

Ellen

Post Edited (coopfesta) : 2/25/2005 5:38:12 AM (GMT-7)


Tavish
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 2/25/2005 5:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh, Ellen....soooooo sorry you are in this situation. I would definitely consult another doc for an opinion to confirm your decisions and to see if any reporting of medical negligance is in order. WOmen are supposed to be more fertile while on tamoxifen, and shame on your doctor for not knowing that.

Hugs,
Lori


coopfesta
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Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 1373
   Posted 2/25/2005 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Actually, Lori, most of the docs I've talked to in the last 36 hours say you're not supposed to get pregnant on Tamoxifen.  Thanks for the thoughts, I wasn't sure if the old boys club would get in the way of getting advice like this from another physician.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

Ellen


Tavish
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 2/25/2005 5:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellen, maybe I was not clear enough, but I was agreeing wholeheartedly....that everything I read says NO pregnancy while on Tamoxifen, the tamox can be harmful to a fetus. But I also know, as should doctors, that they say women on tamox are more fertile and at higher risk for pregnancy...so birth control is crucial. Sounds like you are on the case here, talking to the right docs....

Lori


Candy
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 2/25/2005 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   

Ellen:

My heart goes out to you and is weeping.  How many men and women have suffered needlessly at the hands on un-informed or careless doctors?  Now an innocent child is at risk.  I would certainly get another opinion before making any decisions about reporting.  You need to be reasonable and have absolute facts.  We tend to emotionally react, when we need to be more realistic.  He certainly needs to know what he has done and how it has changed your life, but do it right.  Get over these sorrowful hurdles first, then see to the doctor. 

I know you are afraid and that hurts my heart too.  Are you positive about the health of the baby?  You, the baby, your family and the doctors are in my prayers.  Stay strong and pray hard.  God will lead you and strengthen you.   I love you and wish I could be with you in person, but know that I am with you in spirit and holding your hand and if you want, praying with you.

Hugs,

Candy

Isaiah 40:29-31

 

 


 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 27:9


Luci
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 892
   Posted 2/25/2005 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Ellen))), I have no answers. I am so sorry you're in this position. Dealing with this new situation is so difficult given everything else that's been going on the past few months. I can only offer you my shoulders to lean on and prayers from my heart. Wish there was a magic wand to wave and make this all go away. But, as you well known, we need to be our own magic wands. You're going to get through this and be stronger for it; I just know it. I'm hugging you, Ellen, be as strong as you can be. Luci
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me lay an invincible summer.  Albert Camus


sdearing
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 700
   Posted 2/25/2005 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
{{Ellen}} Just when you were done with all your hard work and time for lots of celebrating this happens. I am so sorry. I can't imagine dealing with that. You have been through so much and through it all accomplished so much! I am sending prayers and hugs your way. Please know that I will be there for you.

L&H
Sara
Sara Dearing
 
Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present!


lemonz
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1090
   Posted 2/25/2005 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellen, I am so sorry to hear this has happened. Time for your roller coaster to take a break. No one should have to deal with all of this. I want you to know I am sending hugs your way. I hope and pray that everything works out for you. When luci gets tired of waving her magic wand I will take a turn and I am sure there are plenty more who will be glad to help. Prayers and hugs flying your way. Joyce
How wonderful it would be to see Angels where there are only clouds. How sad it would be to see clouds where there are Angels.
 
 


postal2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1106
   Posted 2/25/2005 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Ellen, I am so sorry you are now facing this. Know that I am with you all the way with whatever you do. I am sending {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} I hope you can feel them. Love you, Gail
 It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.   Elisabeth Kubler Ross


gma
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2921
   Posted 2/25/2005 4:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Ellen, this is so upsetting to hear. You don't need this to be happening, no how no way. Jo-Ann is here for the weekend and we tried to call your cell phone and left a message. We will try again. We are here holding your hand and hugging you with love and concern. Mary K.


MNlady13
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2044
   Posted 2/25/2005 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow, what a tough situation to be in. So sorry about the circumstances, Ellen. I guess I would want to do some testing to determine the health and condition of the baby before making a decision to terminate. But, I know it is up to you. I sure am glad I am not in your shoes right now. But, you have my support no matter what you decide to do. Prayers for you, Lauri
"Go confidently into the direction of your dreams. Live the life you always imagined" Thoreau
 
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


ardee
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Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 854
   Posted 2/26/2005 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG!  Ellen, I can't believe this has happened.  How could they be so irresponsible???  I know how you and I talked long ago about another child.  I'm just sooooo sorry you have to go through this.  I hope you can feel my arms around you, hugging you.  You're always near my heart, sweetie. 
 
L&H,
Rita


cupycake2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 2/26/2005 11:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear {{{{{{{{{{ELLEN}}}}}}}}}},

Oh sweetie, I wish there was something that I could say right now to make everything alright for you. This sounds like such a horrible thing for you to have to go thru..........it just isn't fair!!!!!!

Please know that I will be here to listen and will be sending mega prayers to help you make the decisions you are going to have to make.

Know that I care Ellen.

Hugs and Love,
Debbie
"What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? It is like robbing the world of the sun"
Cicero


debbiR
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Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 730
   Posted 2/27/2005 12:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellen:
 
Big Hugs to you and your family. What a heartbreaking decision to have to make. I know that whichever way you decide, it will be the best for you.
 
If you want this child, then by all means, as someone else suggested, get all of the tests done to see if there are any problems. You are far enough along to have the genetic testing as well as the amniocentisis. And make your drs do this asap - on your schedule NOT theirs.
 
Lots of positive thoughts, love and prayers being sent your way.
 
Hugs
 
Deb


 

Post Edited (debbiR) : 2/27/2005 12:29:58 AM (GMT-7)

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