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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/3/2005 6:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone!  I've been reading through posts, and it seems that you all have such a nice support group going here.  My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this past Monday.  She's a mammographer too... what a strange coincidence.  She's taking it really well and has an incredibly positive attitude which I am so thankful for.  I feel bad because I was so scared when she first told me, and I feel like I might have made it worse for her.  She has been getting in touch with family friends that have gone through cancer before to get advice and talk to them about it.  I was hoping that you could all help her too.  Let me know if there is anything I could pass along to her that you could share from your experience.  Was there anything that you wish you had known at the beginning?  I would greatly appreciate your responses.  I am away at school but am going home for the weekend to be with her.  Thank you, Kate

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 3/3/2005 6:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Kate, you are a good daughter and it is a blessing that you are supporting her the way you are. Don't feel bad about letting your Mother know how afraid you are. It is OK. You will together get through this. Please share this site with her. It will be a good thing to share together. We all have very different experiences that comes down to being B/C SURVIVORS. Please pass on to your Mother to research, ask questions, actually question everything, feel comfortable with her doctors or get new ones. Knowledge is power and power is a great healer. She should record her doctor visist and she should have someone else with her. She should ask for copies of all her tests and treatment plans. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but she will get realizations as time passes.

Please keep us posted and once again, share this site with your Mom, if she wants to participate, great, if not I hope you continue with us. We are a great bunch of ladies that just want to help.

Love, hugs, and prayers,


 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 27:9

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 3/3/2005 8:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kate-
Don't forget to refer your mom to this group too! Everyone will have their own way to cope and how to approach this...some read and learn all they can, others learn as they go, and others choose to turn it all over to the one way is right for everyone. In my case, I read as much as I needed to know, and as much as I could handle, as I went along. That helped me understand what to expect and what questions to ask. I suggest taking a buddy and a tape recorder to the first few doctors' appointments. Be careful of statistics...they can be frightening, but remember they are just a way to keep track and predict what might happen. And keeping a positive attitude, although scared, was the best thing for me. It helped others around me cope and it helped me cope...your Mom will find strength that she never knew she had, and so will you.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 730
   Posted 3/3/2005 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kate! Please don't feel badly about your initial reaction. Both of my daughters did the same thing. After all, you are only human and to be very honest with you, by you expressing your fears now will help you and your mom face  this battle head on together.
The suggestion about taking a tape recorder and notebook is right on the money. Also your mom should take someone with her to the appts. This way the other person can write down all of the answers to the question as well as make sure that the questions are asked. There will be so much information in the beginning that there is no way to digest it all. Both of my dd's went with me to my appts as well as a good friend. Your mom may also want to keep a journal of her feelings. Be sure and get a day planner or a notebook that is only for her appts, meds, etc.
Please have her come and visit us. The support from those of us that have been there is more helpful than anything else.
Keep a sense of humor. Laugh lots.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2921
   Posted 3/4/2005 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kate, Please let us know how your mother is doing after you see her this weekend. Does she have a computer? Do you think she might come to check out this site? Tell her we would welcome her and help in any way we can. Hugs MK

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2044
   Posted 3/4/2005 3:39 PM (GMT -6)   
hi, Kate, just wanted to add my welcome and sympathies for your mom's diaganosis. I know it is hard for daughters (and sons) to see their moms be sick. We think mom will always be there for us. A cancer diagnosis suddenly makes us think about mortality. Sort of smacks you right in the face. So, your reactions are absolutely normal. Like the others have suggested, give your mom information about this site. One of the things I have learned along this road is that friends who really get it are invaluable. The women here do get it, they understand what this is all about. Take care and give your mother our best wishes, Lauri
"Go confidently into the direction of your dreams. Live the life you always imagined" Thoreau
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 205
   Posted 3/4/2005 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kate,
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this with your Mom.  But I'm glad for her that she has you and you found us here!  I'm new here this week but was diagnosed January 24, 2005.  This site and the wonderful women here will help both of you during this chaos.  I've found someone within 20 miles of me within days.  And it helps to know that there are so many women here who have quite a few years of surviving this horrible disease.
One piece of advice I want to give is to be informed, read, read and read some more.  If your Mom is the kind of person who likes to research she should too.  Some people don't like to do too much reading in the beginning.  I grabbed up 8 books at the library within 48 hours of getting the news.  And the most valuable book I found I now own.  It's Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book.  There are several versions so try to locate the latest edition.  It is very informative with everything from breast develpment, latest tests and treatments of BC and everything in between.
Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you and your Mom.  It takes a while for the shock to wear off but once it does you both will see that this is something she can deal with and get beyond.
Oh, one more thing.  I've found that by not keeping the BC a secret in my world that I've met some wonderful LONG term survivors (20+ years) and have had at least 2,000 people praying for me.  This is not the "hushed" disease that it once was.  Don't hold it in, let others know so they can offer their help.
We will be thinking and praying for you both!
Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.

-Vesta M. Kelly

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/5/2005 1:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all so much for the responses. I talked to my mom for quite a while today about what she is going through, what she expects to happen, and what she knows thus far. I believe what she has is called infiltrating lobular, and it is a little over one centimeter. She is meeting with her surgeon on Tuesday, and the next step is her MRI and then the actual surgery. She already owns Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book but went to Borders yesterday to pick up the latest copy. She showed me various things in it today while we were talking, and I'm really interested in reading more of it also. I will definitely let her know about this site and message board, I'm sure she would love to join it. Thanks again, Kate
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