Kathy, don't be to hard on yourself. Each of us has experienced the letdown and depression that you are experiencing. I thought that I was crazy. Here I had gone thru a year of surgery, treatments, etc and now had my "freedom" and I was depressed. Didn't make sense to me until I realized that for that year, since my diagnosis, I had been seeing one type of dr or another. There was always some medical professional checking me out. Now suddenly, I was on my own for 3 months until my checkup w/ the onco. It scared the heck out of me. But, once that first checkup was behind me and I saw that all of my counts were ok, then I seemed to handle my emotions better. So hang in there and just realize that these are normal emotions that you are feeling. Now, as for the rad onco. I really can't relate to that as all of my med team was female. lol
Be kind to yourself. You deserve a break!
Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."