Having a bad day ......

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 702
   Posted 6/30/2005 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Since my last stay in the hospital, they have stopped my chemo for 6-8 weeks so I can
get some of my strength back. Not sure if I will start it again but I will decide that another
day. I have been back to work full time for about 2 weeks. I still get very tired. Well,
today has been a real crappy day ....my boss is picking on me big time. I almost feel
like he is pushing me so hard that I will quit. I have been doing my job all along and also
picking up the slack big time for a co-worker. ANYTHING that goes wrong in this office
is my fault...grrrrrr. I found out today that I didnt get paid $600.00 commission that
was coming to me. When I mentioned it he had a fit...made me feel guilty. My pay has
been down alot since the beginning of the year since I havent felt good and with chemo and
the hospital stays etc...so I could really use the money...oh well...Maybe disability isnt such a bad idea....
Thanks for letting me vent...sigh sad
Sometimes it is a slender thread, Sometimes a strong,
stout rope; She clings to one end, I the other;
She calls it friendship; I call it hope....

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 741
   Posted 6/30/2005 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
As if the cancer itself were not enough of a problem.....I'm so sorry to hear about your situation at work. I say don't let your boss steamroll you. If you were due the money then fight for it. THEN consider going on disability. Lord knows you deserve an easier time of things.
Sending prayers your way, friend.
Do not go gentle into that goodnight,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
~Dylan Thomas

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 6/30/2005 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
A young man named John received a parrot as A gift. The parrot had a
> > bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
> > bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
> >
> >
> >
> > John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
> > saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he
> > could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
> >
> >
> >
> > Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
> > yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even
> > ruder.
> >
> >
> >
> > John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him
> > in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
> > screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
> > for over a minute.
> >
> >
> >
> > Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
> > freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
> > and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
> > actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
> > and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
> > unforgivable behavior."
> >
> >
> >
> > John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
> > to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
> > behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?

I got this around thanksgiving...hope you are feeling better. I can't imagine working while going through what you are. Sending you a big healing hug...Jen

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 829
   Posted 6/30/2005 3:08 PM (GMT -6)   
First, I think you should have gone out on disability a long time ago. You have just been pushing so hard. Who did get the $600 commission you earned?

Now, about the work situation. I hope that the bãstard who is doing this to you rots in hëll for what they're doing.

Cathi, the one thing, in my mind, that would show I had really beat this dämned disease was when I could go back to work. I was out for 2 years. The first day I went back, I was told that I needed to take long-term disability because I would be laid off at the end of the month. I also knew that I wasn't physically capable of doing it again.

Well, it's been 9 1/2 years since I've worked, with a 90-day break early in the second year, and I don't miss it at all. Your physical situation is worse than anything I've had and I just hope that we can make you see you don't need the aggravation.

If you decide to continue working, then you must let me help you. Coming from the South, I've learned the art of the attitude adjustment using a variety of weapons.

Love You, Jo-Ann
A good friend will bail you out of jail...
but a true friend will be sitting
next to you saying,
"Dâmn... that was fun!".

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 6/30/2005 4:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Cathi,  I am so sorry about your troubles at work.  Demand the commission.  Why should you feel guilty about asking for something you earned?  He should feel guilty about not paying you.  I hope they think about what they are doing to you and realize they are addind to your health problems.  I agree as soon as you get the commission you should quit and go on diability.  Who needs the stress. 
I am glad you are taking a break from treatment. 
I have you in my prayers.
Peace, Blessings, Love and GREAT BIG HUGS,

 How good is a timely word!  Proverbs 15:23


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1090
   Posted 6/30/2005 5:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I can not believe those two are doing this to you... I am almost mad enough to brave that darned turnpike to straighten them out. Love ya, and talk later Joyce

How wonderful it would be to see Angels where there are only clouds. How sad it would be to see clouds where there are Angels.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2044
   Posted 6/30/2005 7:56 PM (GMT -6)   
(((Cathi)))) So sorry you are having to put up with this kind of chit. It just is not right. I'm with the others in demanding the commission you are due. Is there anyone else you can take this issue to? Who does this idiot report to? Disability might be the answer, but it should be a choice you make on your terms, not something you are forced into. Take care. I hope tomorrow is better. Hugs, Lauri
"Go confidently into the direction of your dreams. Live the life you always imagined" Thoreau
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2921
   Posted 6/30/2005 8:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Been there done that myself. You might remember after I was off work for two months with IV antibiotics because of my infection, I was called into the bosses office and it was suggested perhaps I would like to work part time and the woman who was helping me on a contract basis part time would take my job. I learned of a couple of meetings that were held where it was suggested that I had made mistakes in the way over time was calculated, which I had not. It was made to sound like my friend and co-worker had been working behind my back to take my job. (I learned later that was not true at all.)

I was posting on the board just like you madder than a wet hen. I spent the weekend composing a letter which was quite long letting my boss know exactly how I felt about their suggestion and how hurt I was. On Monday morning I went in early and went directly to his office. I handed him the letter and told him I had put in writing what I was about to say because I did not want any confusion or misunderstanding as to detail and then I verbally told him just how angry I was and how I felt I had been kicked when I was down.

A day or so later he called me into his office with the second in command and they told me they were sorry and I could do what I needed to get well and things would stay status quo. By that time I felt fluid filling up in the abdominal wall again, and I told them I would need to go back on IV antibiotics again and wouldn't be able to work. That was the last I worked except for going in a couple of hours to help at the end of the year and to do some special things.

My disability pay was a godsend and it lasted until February 2005. I will be ever thankful that I had the disability insurance because with SS disability it was just about as much as my paycheck and I didn't have to buy gas, clothes, lunches and I could stay home and play on my computer and talk to my breast friends.

When God closes one door he opens another, I believe the saying goes. If you have disability insurance you probably will be better off than working part time anyhow. Just be sure to leave a lasting impression. Incidently, several months after I was gone my boss called me into his office when I was visiting my friends for lunch. He apologized to me and told me he had no idea how much I had done for the company all those years, and he was very sorry that he ever suggested what he did, and his eyes had tears in them so I knew he was not just blowing smoke.

Hope you get things resolved the way you want, but I agree with Jo-Ann you should not be trying to work. Quilting is enough work. LOL.

Big hugs and lots of love, MK

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 6/30/2005 8:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Sending hugs and pink feathers to you, Cath....and hoping that the best thing happens for your physical and mental health.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 730
   Posted 6/30/2005 9:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Cathi: I am so sorry that your boss is being a jerk! I agree with what everyone else has said. I think that you ought to go and demand the $600.00. You earned it. To heck with him making YOU feel quilty. HE is the one that should feel the quilt. He knows how you have worked, even though you have been so ill. When I was rediagnosed with cancer, I had to be off to have all of the tests run. I think that I probably missed about 2 full days of work in 3 weeks during that time. I worked 24/7 for this company. (Rainbow sweeper distributor...Marketing Director) Well, when I went in and told my boss that I was going to have to go back on chemo but that I had it scheduled for Fri afternoons, so it wouldn't interfer w/ my work, he calmly looked at me and said "you're fired" as of today. Now, because he didn't have 5 fulltime employees, I couldn't hit him w/ a discrimination suit. But, you can and I believe that you should remind your boss of this. Don't think about HIS feelings. Remember, he is getting paid the big bucks.
I am on full disability now. The money isn't what I made working, far from it but at least I don't have to fight w/ ignorant bosses and coworkers anymore. Give yourself a break. Get your $600 and then tell him to shove it! Be kind to yourself.
Hugs and prayers...Deb

Grandma Cathy
Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 426
   Posted 6/30/2005 10:16 PM (GMT -6)   

Hang in there! The worst part of treatment for me was being in the hospital with the low whitecounts.

Let's focus on what's important - get you well enough to be at home, not to mention work, see the grandbabies and work on healing and see and hold those grandbabies.

Oh, and have you post here.

L & H,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 857
   Posted 7/1/2005 7:39 AM (GMT -6)   


Just want to give you a big (((((HUG)))))) girlfriend!  Wish your troubles would just melt away, but I would write a formal letter like MK said and give it to him.  Maybe once its on paper in black and white and he can read it a couple times he'd see your point of view?

good luck, and hope you get your strength back soon


"It's been worth everything I've been through,
 To do what I do"

                       To Do What I Do   -Alan Jackson, 2004

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1564
   Posted 7/2/2005 7:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Cathi...Hope your days have been getting better!!!  It is so hard, making these decisions, and when you have a boss that's an * (if you can't figure out what the "asterisk" is, thinkabout what a sphincter looks like!), it only makes it that much easier to think about quitting.  Only you can decide what's best for you.  Don't let him be deciding factor on the rest of your life.
Love and hugs to my Cathi...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 734
   Posted 7/2/2005 4:43 PM (GMT -6)   


I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Yes, only you can make the disability decision. But as a person on disability, I can tell you that it was hard leaving work but absolutely the best and probably the only right decision for me. After my first bout with cancer and the transplant, I went back to work. Two weeks later, I was told that I had the beginnings of cervical cancer and needed a hysterectomy. I asked if I could wait until the next summer for the surgery and she said yes, if they did a cone procedure and took out the cells around it. So I had the surgery in the summer of 1999. I went back to work again. I had been out of work for a whole year with the first cancer. The second cancer came in April of 2000. I was out again the rest of that year and all the next since I had to live in St. Louis during treatments. That was enough I figured. I was so out of touch with my work and changes in the L.D. and English departments by then anyway. It was hard to walk out that day in April knowing that I would never come back. But I have had 5 wonderful years to do as I please. Once in a while a yellow school bus goes over my hill and think," Oh, yeah, school" There is life after work. Try to get the money coming to you first though. I like the idea of putting things in writing. Like MK said. Maybe he will read it and realize just what a ******* he is being. I'm all for you staying home and quilting and spending time with your family. Lots of love, Di






Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 214
   Posted 7/2/2005 10:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Cathi, you dear, sweet person...do whatever feels right. If you're not up to demanding the $600, it's only money. But I hope you have a nice big glass of wine at lunch, and go back into that sphincter's office and give him a piece of your mind. Then go on disability, and quilt your heart out. They'll miss you terribly in a month or two, and your family, especially those grandbabies, WON'T !!!

We love you !! ((((((((((((((((((CATHI))))))))))))))))))))

Love, Peg

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 7/3/2005 12:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Nobody seems to like my idea to put the boss in the freezer with the rest of the turkeys...

I've been out of work since last year, and luckily my boss was kind about my being out, but my husband's boss isn't.
The only bad thing about filing for disability is that in two years your insurance will be moved to medicare or medicaid, I can't rememeber which, if you do not have your husband insuring as primary insurance. Your health is taking a beating with the stress. Do whatever you can to minimize it. I agree about asking for what was rightfully yours, and then going on disability. Peg's right, your family will love having you areound more.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 7/3/2005 11:52 AM (GMT -6)   

Hope that you can feel that hug. It sounds like you sure can use one sweetie.

So sorry that your boss is giving you such a hard time. What kind of a person is he anyhow? You have worked so hard to do your job while going thru all of the treatments you have had to endure..............I think you should get a medal for THAT in itself!!!!!!! I feel like FLYING (and you know that I hate flying) to TEXAS and picking up MK's Louisville slugger to use on him myself!!!!!! GEEZ!

I will be sending prayers for you to come to a decision on the disability issue. (which I thoroughly agree on)

Let me know if there is anything I can do for you..........it wouldn't take me long to drive up to see you either. (are you hard to find?)

Love you my dear BC friend.

^j^ ^j^ ^j^ ^j^
"What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? It is like robbing the world of the sun"

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 7/4/2005 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Cathi,

Sorry that all this bad stuff is happening to you. If your boss is your "old" boss from the time of the Texas trip, then he should be doubly ashamed. Get the money if you can, and maybe you ought to consider going on disability. All unnecessary aggravation and worry is not good for you, and the job falls in that category. Don't feel bad about taking disability or anything else that the government will deliver. After all you have been paying for it for however many years you've worked, and so have the rest of us. I'll give you part of mine! You'll find lots of fun things to do with your time away from State Farm.

Hope you had a great time at the wedding and that you and Luci will have a wonderful visit. Take care of yourself.

Love, Glenda

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 700
   Posted 7/5/2005 7:42 AM (GMT -6)   
{{Cathi}} Sorry to hear you are having problems at work as well. You deserve so much more than that. Hope things work out for you and I agree with the others, take the disability and enjoy yourself and your family. You need to take care of yourself and not push so hard. Sending hugs and prayers your way, hoping things get better for you.

Sara Dearing
Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present!

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