Post Edited By Moderator (gma) : 11/30/2005 8:18:21 AM (GMT-7)
First, if you lack confidence in any doctor, please find a new doctor that you are comfortable with.
As for the fear I think it is normal. We all go through times of irrational fear, especially when we have a test that is not positively negative or without questions. In September I had a mammo done that showed heavy microcalcifications. My surgeon wanted me to have a biopsy done. The radiologist cancelled the biobsy because there is no cluster for him to biopsy. So I was instructed to wait six months and have another mammo. I was, in some ways, very fearful even with my DH at my side. But it all turned out OK and my fear has subsided.
So either make that doctor look you in the eye and help you or find one that will.
God Bless you and Good Luck.
Hello Renee! First, I am very glad that you found us and posted your feelings. Please be assured that you are NOT alone in how you feel. Ok, now I have to say that I agree w/ everything that has been said by everyone else. First, remember that your onco, surgeon, radiologist, etc are YOUR employees. YOU are paying their salary! They are NOT paying YOU. Would you allow an employee to treat you the way that your medical team is treating you. I don't think so. GET ANOTHER OPINION! I don't believe that is it was their wife, dd, sister, mother or themself that they would want to wait 6 mos. Especially after what you have been thru this past year. If you don't feel comfortable calling your onco and asking for your records to be sent to another onco, then just get the med release, sign it and be done! Please, please, please don't wait 6 months. And don't let them tell you that they have no appts because of the holidays. That is BS! Be your own advocate.
Cry when you feel like crying. Yell, scream, laugh. Whatever it takes. My family never knows what my mood is going to be. We have all been thru this upheaval of emotions.
Where do you live? Please let us know. We are spread out all over the US so hopefully there will be one of us near you.
Take charge woman!
Lots of hugs...Deb
Hey Reenee! Take a deep breath. I know how all of these thoughts are racing around in your head but you need to "try" to relax so that you can make your decisions. In my personal case, my entire med team works as one..my onco, surgeon and MD and manipulative therapist. They each send notes to each other when I see one of them. So when it comes to decisions as to my treatment, they are all involved. Although, I have the final say. The problem that I see that you have right now is that you don't trust your onco. That is why we have suggested that you seek a 2nd opinion from another oncologist. Take a list of questions that you have and need answers to. If the new onco doesn't seem to care then go to a 3rd and 4th...find one that you trust. When my father was diagnosed w/ lung cancer, I spoke w/ Richard Bloch (H & R Block). He told me that you need to find an onco that feels that he can help you. If you don't have a good feeling after interviewing one, then go on to the next and the next. Until you find that one that has a positive outlook about your particular case. I didn't forget that when I was diagnosed.
Reenee: Yes, meds do alter our emotional state. There are times that I will just sit and cry or fly off the handle for no real reason. My family knows to give me lots of space the day I have chemo and the day after. Any little thing will set me off. Your dh sounds great. Why not have him find a support group for "caregivers" (I hate that word but that is the word that is used). These groups are family members that are dealing w/ a loved one that has cancer. He will be able to talk w/ others and find out that he is not alone. He will be able to find the support that he needs. It will in turn help you. Also, there are support groups to help you. You may have to go to a couple of different ones before you find the right group. You can contact your local ACS or the social worker at your onco office or hospital to find these groups. Don't be afraid to let your family see you cry. We all seem to think that this is wrong. Heck, it is just human nature w/ all that we are going thru. How would you feel if you had a friend or family member that was facing a medical problem and cried? I don't think that you would be upset. So, don't be so hard on yourself. Remember, you aren't "Superwoman"! lol
Hang in there. We are all here for you.