Hello Donna! I know how frightened you are about a recurrance. We all live w/ that fear daily. Even if it is in the back of our mind. I can tell you from personal experience that when I was told 2 yrs ago that my CEA had climbed from 12-29 I was scared to death. I think that I was more in shock than when I received my original diagnosis. Like you, I had only been out of treatment about 18 months. I can remember my onco calling and telling me that I had to come immediately for a bone marrow. When the results came back negative, I cried w/ relief. Then I went thru the CT scan, MRI, etc. Each came back negative and each time I fell apart. Finally I had PET scan and it was positive. I was so frightened but yet relieved to know that the spot had been found. I also was relieved to know that it was treatable. As my onco told me she believed that we could be this but she couldn't assure me that it wouldn't show up someplace else later. I looked at her and said that all I wanted to do was beat this one and I would deal w/ later when it happened. She couldn't promise me that I wouldn't walk out of her office and get hit by a truck so my odds sounded pretty good. Just try and remember all of the new treatments that are out there. Several have shown positive results that I was a part of the clinical study 5 yrs ago. Don't be afraid to post how you feel. We are here for you.
There is an organization called "Chemo Angels". If you haven't gone to their website, please do. This group of women are amazing and I can tell you from personal experience, that the cards and gifts and support that I received from them helped me. In fact, that is how I got to know our "JoAnn". She was my very own "chemo angel".
Please feel free to call me or email me directly if there is anything that I can do.
Try and stay busy and enjoy the holidays. If you don't have anything to do, come on down to Jeff City and help me finish decorating and shopping.
Hugs my friend....Deb