MIL found lump

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dorri
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   Posted 2/1/2006 8:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm worried about my 72 yr old mother-in-law.  She found an elongated thickening on her breast by self examination..  She has always been a big breasted woman.   She said the thickening is about the length of a small finger.  She went to the doctor and has a mammogram booked on the 15th.  Are these thickenings always cancerous? 


Cathi
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   Posted 2/2/2006 4:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Dorri...

You asked if most lumps are cancerous. The answer is no...most are benign. Only about 20% are cancer. It is a good thing your MIL is having a mammogram. That is usually where they start. They also may ask for an ultra sound and a biopsy. What you/she needs to do is take one step at a time.

Please feel free to ask any questions...this is a group of very knowledgeable women...

Hugs

Cathi

 

 


Sometimes it is a slender thread, Sometimes a strong,
stout rope; She clings to one end, I the other;
She calls it friendship; I call it hope....


dorri
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   Posted 2/2/2006 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Cathi, the waiting for her mammogram and her results must be hard on her, I feel for her.


babyseeester
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Date Joined Oct 2004
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   Posted 2/2/2006 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Dorri,
 
Waiting is the hardest part.  You are scared and you're imagination runs wild.  Try to stay calm and help her stay calm.  Learn as much as you can, so that you know what questions to ask should it turn out to be cancer.
 
In my case, it was more of elongated mass, rather than a lump.  It also became painful.  Unfortunately, it was cancer.  That doesn't mean hers is, though. 
 
We will be here for you and please, keep us posted.
L & H,
Kathy


dorri
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   Posted 3/2/2006 5:24 PM (GMT -7)   
My mother in law has been through a mammogram, ultra sound and biopsy. The surgeon said it's breast cancer. Surgery will be with 2-3 weeks. They are concerned about her lymph glands....we are so worried...I think I've become more of a basket case than her....I try to be strong around her, but inside I'm crying....I can only imagine what the poor woman is going through. I love her so much....


gma
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   Posted 3/2/2006 6:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Dorri, it is harder to handle a loved one's diagnosis than your own. I was diagnosed at 58 and I thought I was lucky because I was older when diagnosed. Given a choice, I know your dmil would prefer to have her diagnosis than for you to have one. A diagnosis does not mean a terminal situation. Be strong for her and think positive. Hugs, MK


dorri
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Date Joined Feb 2003
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   Posted 3/2/2006 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
MK, thanks for your strength, wisdom and encouragement, and for helping to see others through a difficult time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Think I just need to have a big cry...and then I'll regain my strength and start thinking positive again...this isn't the first time I've been through this, my mother had breast cancer (twice) and is a breast cancer survivor...it's never easy when it hits close to home...thanks..


babyseeester
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   Posted 3/3/2006 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Dorri,

I'm sorry it turned out to be BC.  My tumor was kind of the shape of hers, too.  Is she having a mastectomy or lumpectomy?  The reason I ask is because I had a lumpectomy, only to have the surgeon discover more cancer once he was in there.  Since we had not had a conversation about 'what ifs', I had to have a 2nd surgery (mast) 3 weeks later.  Make sure she discusses with the surgeon all the possibilities.  I was in too much of a daze to even think to ask anything.  

Go ahead and have that big cry.  It does help.  Then you will be able to be strong for your MIL.  She is a very lucky woman to have you for a DIL!  You care for her so much and that shows.  Good luck! 

 


L & H,
Kathy


dorri
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Date Joined Feb 2003
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   Posted 3/3/2006 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kathy, and thank you for your response. I'm sorry that you had to go through what no woman should have to go through.
My mother in law will be having her entire breast removed. They are also concerned about Lymph node involvement, but that isn't definite yet.
My mother in law is a very strong woman, which is an encouragement to me when I talk to her. I pray that God continues to grant her peace with a positive outlook.
She may have her surgery on Monday but the surgeon said there was only a slim chance of that. They would have to call her today to make arrangements, which they haven't done yet. They said if they don't call her today, she will then have to wait 2-3 weeks to have the surgery.
Thanks again for the response and your support.


JUJU8872
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Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 349
   Posted 3/3/2006 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Dorri. I kind of know how you feel. With a few exceptions, I believe I took my sister's cancer worse than I took my own. Just dig in and ask her how you can help. Sometimes, just listen to her. And as an FYI, I remember getting angry when people would tell me to cheer up I only had 8 more months of treatment, six more months of treatment, etc. And please do not tell her "Before you know it, it'll all be over." I believe the best way to get through this is to practice one of Dale Carnegie's philosophies " Handle everything in bite size pieces, live in day-tight compartments". In other words, when she is discouraged about her treatment, encourage her to look positively towards the end of the "bad day" or the "extremely long week" -- . Encourage her to look at the small picture, not the big one, and she might not get as depressed as some of us do. Oh, and please remember in conversations to TALK TO HER and not to talk about her cancer.

Oh my gosh, I have rambled here, and I hope you understand what I meant.
Judy

dorri
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1876
   Posted 3/3/2006 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Judy, thank you for your sweet words of advice. You have been through so much yourself, and yet take the time out to encourage others. I'm so thankful for all of you.


dorri
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1876
   Posted 4/5/2006 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
My mother in law is going for her surgery this Friday morning. Say a prayer for her.


Candy
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 4/5/2006 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Dorri, I will have your MIL in my prayers Friday. Stay strong, she will get well. Judy had good advise, "Talk to her". I remember when I was dx'd I suddenly became the initial "C" for cancer instead of for Candy. Be normal, support her, and continue to love her as deeply as you do right now.

Blessings,

Candy
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
 


dorri
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1876
   Posted 4/6/2006 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Candy. thank you for the best wishes and advice. I plan on being there for her, in any way that I can. How much help will she need after surgery? I was planning to cook for her for a few days.


debbiR
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Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 730
   Posted 4/6/2006 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   

Dorri: Sending lots of prayers for your mil and entire family. Yes, she will need some help for a week or so. She won't be able to lift her arm so she will need to be sure and have tops or gowns that button rather than go over her head. Also, she may need some help w/ her hair and shower. I found that I wasn't comfortable in my bed the first few days, so I slept in the recliner w/ lots of pillows to help prop me up. Allow her to do what she feels like doing but don't let her lift anything heavy. Nothing over the weight of a guart of milk the first couple of weeks.

Please let us know how she does.

Deb


 


dorri
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1876
   Posted 4/6/2006 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your concern and the advice. I let her know about the buttoned tops so she won't have to pull them over her head.

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