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Brnadebt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 688
   Posted 2/17/2006 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone
 
Just had to write and say how down I have been feeling. I think it hit me when I read of Shelly's passing. I did not know her personally but it still hit me hard. I can't believe this da** disease took a 29 year old with a small child. It is so hard to loose anyone but even more so when they are so young. It is equally hard reading about all of the recurrance we have had. I wish for a cure to be found so that we don't loose anymore of "our group". I'm sorry to go on about it but it makes you wonder about your own mortality. I have 5 more weeks of radiation and then they are going to tackle my spots in my lungs and spleen. It scares me that I could be one of the angels leaving too soon.
 
With fear but love for all,
 
Bernadette

skeeter1
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 2/17/2006 9:28 AM (GMT -7)   

I know what you mean I just read about Shelly too she looked so full of life and its hard to believe someone so young was taken from us so soon in her life. I didn't know her either. When you read about her it makes you wonder why... why her.. why so young... she had so much to live for with her young child and all. It is a terrible disease.. It makes no sense to me either.. It hit me hard too. I have up and down days with this disease too. Some days are very hard for me.. but we can't give up and give in to this disease.. We need to keep hope and continue to fight... If I don't then I would feel totally defeated and the disease won.. I have hope and faith that the spots on your lungs and spleen will be B9. 

 we can't let this disease won k we need to keep up the faith and continue to fight it until a cure is found... gosh its easy to say the word just so darn hard to actually do them huh!!! lets work together every step of the way until we are old and gray haired and its truly is our time to go k... skeeter1


Kattbird
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 2/17/2006 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I understand where you are coming from. Even though I don't post a lot, I come over here and read. I didn't know Shelly either but I am so sorry for her family. And when I read of these Angels being taken whether it be young or old just scares me to death. Even the ladies here who have had recurrences. I'm wondering, how long will it be before mine comes back? I know, who says it will? But my whole attitude about this darn disease has not been good and I can't help but think I will get it again or something else will go wrong.
I try not to think about it and just go on each day like it never happened. It kind of works until I put my wig on in the morning or take it off in the evening. And for me it's probably worse as far as getting cancer, I smoke, I use a tanning bed a couple of times a week plus spend quite a bit of time at the beach in the summer in the real sun. So I'm just asking for it, aren't I? Well, let me die doing the things I enjoy. :-)
Bernadette, keep your head up. I know it's hard. I hope that the lungs and spleen thing will be nothing major. We have to all pat ourselves on the back for making it through rads and chemo. My rads was easy but the chemo I had a hard time dealing with, but it did kind of seem like it was over before I knew it.
Big {{{{HUGS}}}} to everyone.

JUJU8872
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 349
   Posted 2/17/2006 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   

I, too, saw the obit and picture. I am old with this disease and for one so young to leave us makes me a little upset. We have all seemed a little down lately. Perhaps because it's winter -- the after-Christmas blahs. Anyway, we've got to hold it together for ourselves, our loved ones and each other. With Spring, there's new life, so let's get on with ours, especially you Bernadette. I believe these spots are going to be o.k. Just keep us advised of what they plan to do. We'll be there cheering you on.

Take care.

Judy


Brnadebt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 688
   Posted 2/17/2006 6:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi All

I felt better after I posted, but then I feel bad for saying negative things. I know we all go thru it but this time it was so hard, I guess it just hit home. Seeing someone so young being taken by this disease.......it just makes me want to cry. I am 46 years old and think I'm still young :) The treatments are much easier now that I'm doing rads. I will try in the future not to get so down but sometimes it is hard. I had my treatment today and then went into the chemo room. All of my nurses came up and gave me a hug, then ruffled my hair. I did not wear my wig. I colored it with a non harmful dye. It is only good for a month but it makes me feel better having all of that grey covered.

Thanks my special friends for listening!

Bernadette
 
 


JUJU8872
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 349
   Posted 2/18/2006 7:19 AM (GMT -7)   
The grey, ah, yes. I'm having mine colored next Saturday -- a light, light blonde. My hairdresser and I are both nervous since I have so much white hair on top and so much black hair in the back and sides. Whatever happened to my lightly greying hair on top that blended with my ash blond? ahhhhhh......

Judy

possitive
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 239
   Posted 2/18/2006 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Bernadette,its ok to vent your feelings anytime.We cant hold it inside of us,we need to let it out and everyone on this panel knows what your going through.Pray that God will carry you while your going through this journey.I did,and i told him not to put me down yet because im not done with my surgeries yet.God is so great,just hold on to him.  Love   Tammy

Candy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 2/19/2006 10:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Bernadette,  It is ok to vent, like everyone has said.  The members of this board always gets down when we lose a member whether we know them or just hear about them.  We are all on the same jouney.  We are all precious to each other and we always support each other in anything that is going on in our lives.  Never ignore the need to talk about your bad and good things in life.  As Tammy said God is Great.  As my very important spiritual mentor says "Yea God". 
 
Prayers and blessings to you,
 
Candy
 
 
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
 


Tavish
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2272
   Posted 2/19/2006 4:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Bern, it is ok to vent...and to feel down sometimes. We've all been there. One thing to know is that there will be ups and downs along the road...sometimes the downs can surprise you though...just know it is normal and don't let it overcome you. If the downs become more frequent and more than you can tolerate, then it is time for help. But in the mean time, understanding what is normal is half the battle.

Hang in there!
Lori


Brnadebt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 688
   Posted 2/19/2006 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all

I feel better now, I guess I just needed to vent a little. I don't like to acknowledge that occasionally this disease takes one of us. When I was first diagnosed I never thought about dying, I guess when you see it happen you think about your own mortality.

Thanks again my special friends for bringing me back from the abyss and getting my feet planted firmly again.

L&H
Bernadette
 
 

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