The most important thing about any surgery is going into it w/ a positive attitude. It makes all of the difference in how quickly you heal - both physically and mentally. I don't believe, at this time, that you feel that this surgery is necessary. If you really feel this way, then get another opinion. Talk to your onco, surgeon and medical dr before Thurs. Call the ACS or the social worker at your hospital or onco office and talk to them. I know that they can put you in touch w/ someone that has been in your situation. If you need to reschedule, then do so. But it is imperative that YOU feel that this is something that is going to help you beat this darn disease and allow you to see your daughter grow up. Yes, you won't be able to pick her up for a few weeks but I am sure that there will be someone w/ you that can put her on your lap and let her hug your neck. The drains won't be in that long. Go purchase one of the tops that has pockets for the drains. Make an appt to get your hair and makeup done. Do something that will make you feel good. Go do some retail therapy. Get you some nice, soft sexy pj's or night gowns (remember they need to button down the front) so that you can feel good when you get home.
A friend of mine was diagnosed last year. She had just been blessed w/ triplet grandchildren and already had a set of twin grandchildren. She didn't want to have the chemo because she would lose her hair. We finally talked and I asked her whether it was more important for her to die sometime in the near future w/ all of her hair or was it more important to get treatment, lose her hair and have it grow back and see her grandchildren grow up? The choice was hers. She had the chemo and her hair is gorgeous. (so are her grandkids)
I don't mean to sound harsh but you need to do whatever it is going to take to make sure that you will be around for the next 50 + years for your daughter and her children and their children. Plus I am sure that your husband wants you to be here also.
As to how to say goodbye...Another friend of mine was 32 when she had a double mastectomy. She has 3 children and is a first grade teacher. Her friends threw her a party. Everything was centered around boobs. Balloons that they popped. A boobless cake. Etc. She said that it made things easier because she could laugh and also knew that she would be accepted after the surgery and have lots of support. She just recently had her reconstruction and will soon celebrate her 5 yr anniversary.
Lots of love and prayers...Deb