Hello! I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this but I am glad that you have found us. This is an amazing group of women on this board and you will find that the love and support will help you thru this journey.
I was diagnosed when I was 50. My dd's were in their 20's but I had one dd and her 2 young dd's living w/ me. I had basically raised my eldest granddaughter. She was 7 at the time. I told her that I had breast cancer. That I was going to have to have an operation to remove the breast and all of the bad cells. I also told her that I would be taking chemo, a med that would make me tired and probably make me lose my hair. She had questions, which sometimes blew me away, but I always tried to be honest w/ her. I will never forget after my first treatment, I began to lose my hair. I finally had my beautician shave my head..nice little buzz cut. I had a baseball cap on when my granddaughter came home from school. I showed her my head and asked her what she thought. She rubbed my head and said, "Nana, it's not to bad. Just wear your cap when my friends come over". She was wonderful. Of course, I have a rather warped sense of humor so we laughed about a lot of the things that happened during treatment.
I agree w/ what Michelle told you. Your daughter will be frightened. You might want to let her school counselor know what is happening so they can be there is she needs to talk. Also, if she has a close friend, talk to her mother. Just be honest. Remember that you are NOT super woman. Don't feel that you need to hide your emotions all of the time. Let your kids know that you will need some help from time to time but that their life's won't change too much. They will still be able to do the same activities, etc., that they are doing now.
Please let us know what we can do. Remember, you are not alone and this disease is NOT a death sentence but a managable disease now.
It sounds as though you are doing a great job in preparing your kids. I would contact your son's school. It may or may not bother him but at least his teacher can watch for any signs.
No, you will NOT be able to drive in a couple of days after the mastectomy. You will probably come home w/ some drains plus the stitches. You are going to have to be very careful about what you do and don't do for a couple of weeks. I would suggest that you try and find someone to take your kids to and from school. You need to view this time as a "vacation" from all domestic duties...cooking, cleaning..laundry, etc. You have to allow yourself time to heal both physically and mentally.
I don't believe that any of us has mentioned this but be sure and take a gown, robe, shirt, whatever that buttons down the front. You won't be able to lift your arm(s) for a few days.
If you don't want to tell your dh family, then let him do it. He is much stronger than you are giving him credit for, I am sure. You are the only one that can decide who to tell and who not to tell. Word will get out so be prepared for calls. If you don't want to discuss it, then tell the person that. Many of your friends, your dh friends, etc. will call and ask if they can do anything to help you. Let them bring you some meals or do some shopping. Or if your kids need to go somewhere, ask if they can take them. Remember that your friends and family will need to take the lead from you. This will be one of the most difficult things that you will have to do...ask for help. It's just not in a mother/wife's nature. But don't be afraid to do so. It will make those that offer feel better.
You haven't told us where you are from. You said that you are self employed, what do you do?
Hi Kimberly! Well, I live in Mo so that is a wee bit far for a quick visit. lol
I ate whatever tasted good to me. As some of the others have said, you will learn by trial and error. I read books and articles but I found that I ate what I craved or my stomach could handle. There were times that all I wanted was vegetables. Another time I couldn't get enough of Burger King Tacos. And fresh beef bologna. I did find that when you cook, use onions whenever possible. Dont' ask my why but it really helps make the food taste good. You may find that your tastebuds will change after a treatment or two. You may have a "metal" like taste in your mouth. I learned that I didn't drink anything that was in a can. I ate off of plastic forks and spoons. I had to change my brand of toothpaste several times before I found one that left a fresh taste in my mouth. Be sure and drink lots of water after your treatment. That will help flush the chemicals out quicker.
My onco chemo room had lots of blankets and afghans.You will probably sleep thru most of the treatment so don't fight it. Just do what feels right for you.
Sending positive thoughts and lots of smiles and prayers...Deb