Coping with worsening of back pain?

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TDoern
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 495
   Posted 3/16/2008 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
For the past few years I've been posting here on Healingwell, and have found it to be a great place for advice, and strength. Also, and most importantly, knowing that I am not alone in dealing with pain every single day.

A month or two ago I posted about how awesome my doctor was in getting me in when my pain went through the roof and was unbearable for me. I called one day, and was told to come in whenever I was able the next day, and I would get seen. I was given MS Contin on top of my percocets, a pain shot, a muscle relaxer shot, and a shot for anti-inflammitories. It was a gift from God that I didn't think I would get. She also scheduled a CT scan. To get me in for the CT took about 3 weeks. I thought something was off when the person doing the CT told me that my results would be sent over within 24 hours and I should call to set up my appointment.

Life happened, my grandfather ended up very sick with pneumonia, and my family comes first. I called my doctor about a week before my refill on pain meds was due (normally I set up an appointment) to see if there was any chance that due to the circumstances I could get the script(s) early. The nurse called me back in about an hour, telling me that my file was on her "to do" pile, which was why she hadn't found it sooner. She asked me if on top of my ruptured and fused L4-L5-S1 if the bulging L3-L4, and height lessing (or something like that) in the L2-L3 was a problem I'd known about. I told her it was brand new info. The nurse said that Dr. Hudak would write me the scripts, and to set up an appointment to come in ASAP, but I could get the scripts that day. Well, that was 3 weeks ago, and due to the family emergancy I wont be home until april 14.

I've lost 80 pounds since December 6th due to gastric bypass surgery. I was hoping and praying that the surgery would allow the degenerative disc to disease to slow down, or stop causing problems. I've set limitations on myself that make me so mad at times, out of fear of making my back worse. Only to find out that even much lighter, and no doing half the things I'd like, I still made my back worse.

To say this was a blow is a major understatement. I hung up the phone, and just leaned against the wall, slowly slid down, and bawled. My husband came out and had no idea what was going - he was afraid I'd found out my grandpa had passed away. When I told him about my back - he teared up for me.

How do you guys deal with this? Knowing that your doing everything you can, and things are getting worse? I've got a pain appointment a new pain center two days after I get back, and my PCP a week after, but I'm still dealing with the fact things are worse. I remember going into this CT scan not being sure what I wanted - justification that my back was worse - because the pain got worse out of no where - OR - to find out it just hurt more, and I hadn't done anything. Finding out my back was worse still is hard for me to wrap my mind around.

People keep asking about surgery - and all I can think is that the first one didn't do too much good, how could another be any better? I mean I had the fusion - and have still made my back worse. I can't say I'd be willing to undergo another surgery. They are already thinking that some of my problems are scar tissue related, another surgery would just make more.

Advice? I'm trying to find a way to cope with this news - and honestly not getting very far with it. When I think about it all I can think is "poor me" and that is NOT my type of attitude. I've tried for so long to pretend that I don't have back problems - to have it thrown back in my face that not only do I have them - but it's worse - is very hard to deal with.

Thanks for listening.
Tammy
"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of one thing we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on... or we will be taught to fly.'"

"Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of, You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take; On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough, You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off, Then you Stand" From "Stand" by Rascal Flatts
_____________________________________________________________________________
Dx.: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Ulcerlative Colitis, Chronic Inflammation of the Colon, Ruptured & Fused L4-L5-S1 w/pinched nerves, Degenerative Disc Disease, Chronic Costochondritis, Back Muscle Spasms, Asthma, Benign Tremmors (hands)


rob1940
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/16/2008 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Tammy,

believe me, I can feel your pain. I've had the L-3, L-4, L-5 fusion and it is not pretty. I was hoping to be able to share these kind of stories with the rest of the world as there is no one place to go to where someone will understand just what real bone pain is all about. It's the worst you can get. I had a cousin that died of bone cancer and he was in real agony what with breaking bones all the time in his final days. I just want you to know, I do understand your pain. :-)


notnu2cp
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 3/17/2008 1:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Tammy sorry your having to deal with all this ontop of family problems,unfortunately life moves on around our pain doesnt it?

As for the pain and the diseases worsening it is a fact with a degenerative disease that this will happen and will continue to happen as it is pathology of the disease itself sweety.

It looks as if you are lucky in having a great pain Doc and that they at least try to take care of that asapect of your problems as many many dont have even that. I know that isnt alot of relief but to think where you would be if they didnt take such good care of your pain issues is unthinkable isnt it?

All I can tell you as to how to deal with the ongoing process of coping is to suggest you go to the thread we have on page 2 I think now as I need to go there and make a post so we dont lose it as there is alot of great advice in it,read how others of us that have been living this life for years have found to cope somewhat,it is a great thread and alot of folks have made some wonderful statements there.

Keep coming here to a place where others know and understand your pain and vent when you havto cry when it is needed and lean on others when you cannot stand alone.

Good luck to you!


2 knee replacements & a hip.
spondylosis at L-4,5 & S1
arthritis,sciatica all that being a CPer entails!
MEDS:methadone,zanax,zanaflex,indocin,maxide,lexapro,K*,inderal,zestril 
If you stumble make it part of the dance!
 
Formerly Ruth Thomas


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 3/17/2008 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   

(((((tammy)))))

 

and double it.  this is perhaps the worst realizatioin that i have ever had.  i've always had the philosophy that "this, too, shall pass."  this time, my mantra wouldn't work.  sad

i hurt for you, my friend.  only those of us with "bone on bone" problems can even come close to understanding the wretchedness that this pain can take us to if we let it.  the trick is not to let it.  i often joke with people on HW that i'm a cynic because cynics are the only happy people in the world.  if thigs go badly, as we suspect, we can say, "see, told you so."  if things go well we can always say, "that's the exception that proves the case." 

in adddition to cp i also have bi-polar disorder which sends me to a psychiatrist anyway.  but I recommend VERY strongly that everyone with cp have a psychiatrist or at least a clinical psychologist as a part of their "healing team."  there are bad times for all of us.  that all the gods above and belo0w that we have this forum for support - and we don't even have to worry about the insurance aspects.

hope you at least got a smile, tammy.

i wish you all the goodness and healing that this universe has to offer.

 

warren


That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
 


TDoern
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 495
   Posted 3/17/2008 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks to all of you.

I'm trying to take this as I take everything else - life happens. It's just a bit harder seeing the degenerative disc disease not slow down, and hit me so hard even with the weight loss. I had hopes and prayers and many people telling me that the weight loss should slow the process... only to find out my back is worse with the weight loss.

I keep telling myself this is another thing to show the disability people I'm seriously hurting.

I think the major thing was having this blow the morning I was walking on a plane to go take care of my grandpa who was very sick. The thing is I don't think it's fully sunk in yet either. I have no idea how bad it is, or how good, or the status of things. It was hey, you have this and that extra, but I'm just a nurse and can't tell you more information. Right now, I'm still in Virginia and hoping that I can call in for a refill on pain meds while still here. Between the snow up in ohio, the drives up there from virginia, rain here, and just pain and stress I wish I had my pain under control.

Right now I would give anything to live at less than a 6 pain level.

Okay - pitty party over for now. Thank you all!
"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of one thing we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on... or we will be taught to fly.'"

"Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of, You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take; On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough, You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off, Then you Stand" From "Stand" by Rascal Flatts
_____________________________________________________________________________
Dx.: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Ulcerlative Colitis, Chronic Inflammation of the Colon, Ruptured & Fused L4-L5-S1 w/pinched nerves, Degenerative Disc Disease, Chronic Costochondritis, Back Muscle Spasms, Asthma, Benign Tremmors (hands)

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