Thank you both so much for your responses.
So you're both telling me that you don't nod out the way he does because you take pain meds, EVEN WHEN YOU ARE TIRED? And, you don't stay up all night long, and people don't have to repeatedly wake you up when they're trying to have a conversation with you.
He has been taking his meds this way for two years, and as far as I know, he hasn't increased the amount of oxycodone he takes. Shouldn't he have a tolerance by now, and need to increase the amount he takes to get the same effect? Of course he may be trading his methadone for other things. I just don't know. I cannot trust him at all, because he has NEVER taken his pain meds as prescribed, but he keeps telling me it's because methadone is so bad for you, and that I should be happy, because he still has half of his methadone script left at the end of each month. This is suppossed to mean that he takes fewer pills each month by taking them the way he takes them as oppossed to the way the doctor has prescribed them to be taken.
When I complain that he's not "emotionally present", he tells me this is because the pain meds block the pain to the brain, and also block his emotions?
Is there ANY way that what he's telling me about using all the oxycodone during the first two weeks of each month, and then using some of the methadone to keep from getting drug sick the second two weeks of the month could possibly be "just what works best for him and his pain" as he tells me?
Thank you all again. I so need to hear what all of you have to say. PLEEEEASE continue to answer my posts. Please tell me what it's like when you take pain meds.
Thanks everyone. Y'all will never know how much it helps to have the support of others when going through something like this. I think I have things all settled in my mind, and believe that he is definately an addict, but then he starts in all over again trying to convince me that he is not an addict. His main argument, and the one that gets me every time thinking I may be wrong about him, is his argument about......."my doctor will only write scripts for 3-15 mg. tabs of oxycodon and 3-15 mgs. of methadone a day (because he told the doctor he's had trouble with opiates in the past). That's not enough to control my pain, so I double up and use all the oxycodone, and none of the methadone for the first two weeks of the month, and have good pain relief for the first two weeks of each month, and then use the methadone for the second two weeks of each month to keep from getting drug sick, and the methadone also gives a little pain relief, but not like the oxycodone. In taking the meds this way, I am taking fewer pills each month, because I don't take any of the methadone during the first two weeks of each month with the oxycodone (as prescribed), and I still have half the script of methadone left at the end of each month".
You are all telling me that what my husband is telling me above is a bunch of BS, and that he couldn't possibly be telling it as it truly is? Coule you all please tell me why you believe he couldn't possibly be telling the truth above? I need to be very sure of these things.
Thank you all so much for your support.
He is simply lying to you. Chronic pain is just that: Chronic Pain. Taking all you pain meds at the beginning of the month does not create a residule effect, in other words, those meds are not going to do anything for his pain later in the month. Pain meds have to be taken on a regular schedule for them to work properly. I have been on pain meds for many yrs. and I can tell you that the doctor prescribes them at a certain dosage and certain times a day because that is what should work. Look at it this way, your thirsty, so for 2 wks you drink all the water you can. Is that going to keep you from being thirsty the rest of the month? No!
If what I read in one of the other posts is something you said earlier, about him influencing you son to take drugs then you both need to get out now. Do you really want your son to end up like his father? You are obviously very much in love with this man to have stayed by his side and tried to believe his excuses, but it is time to face facts. Unlike many people you are at least reaching out for help and we are all trying to give you the help and support that we can, but we can't physically be there with you. Find someone that you can go to.
Sometimes we have to help ourselves before we can help someone else. You can'tdo anything for him until he is willing to admit that he has a problem and seeks help. Please do something soon for your sake and for your son.