PAlady - Yes, I'm certain I'm looking for support as much as answers.
My family is incredibly supportive, and very protective of me, and my health. My husband is amazing as well. The thing is, I know that my pain hurts them too. When I'm having a specifically bad day, I can see the pain I'm feeling reflected in his face. He'd do anything to make me feel better.
At this point in time he can't take time off of work, he used what little bit of time from work he had for my stomach surgery, and then again when we moved. So right now he doesn't have any time to take off.
I will honestly admit that I have been searching for answers since day one. I couldn't understand in 2000 why at 20 years old my back hurt so bad I didn't want to move. I was overweight then, and figured it was the same thing I'd heard so many say "it's your weight", so I attempted to walk it off for a month. Eventually my husband threatened to drag me in kicking and screaming if he had to, so I went in. To find out I had ruptured two discs. I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, and told to lose weight. In 2003 I had my L4-L5-S1 fused together. I had great pain relief for about
6 months, then it slowly came back, to the point where I had to stop working again, and filed for disability.
In the middle of February, not sure how or when, but I noticed a dramatic increase in my pain. To the point that I called my primary doctor and was gotten in the next day. My blood pressure from pain, was at 150/110 from 110/70. I was given a pain shot, a muscle relaxant shot, and an anti-inflammitory shot, and my BP was checked every 5-10 minutes to make sure it was going down. My doc ordered an MRI, I had an appointment for the end of February, however had a family emergency and had to leave on very short notice. I called my doctors office to find out if it was possible to get my medication a few days early, and got called back about
five minutes after I hung up to leave the message. The nurse was calling to find out if there had always been a large disc bulge at L3-L4. I let her know that was something brand new. 12 hours later I was on a plane. So all I know at this point is I have a large disc bulge at L3-L4. The bad thing is that life had to go on with or without it.
As far as the nerve test - I had one done a year or so ago - and was told that I had "severe nerve disfunction". They wouldn't call it damage - said that was too permanent. I attempted rounds of nerve block/trigger point injections - that were not help, just lots of pain. That was from a "pain specialist". His imput at the end was that he believed part of the problem was scar tissue build up, that he knew I was in real pain, but the shots were not going to help.
I'm putting a great amount of prayer into the up and coming pain management appointment. But, am seriously expecting yet another let down. The thing is, at this point, I'm becoming dangerous to myself with my pain. When my leg quits - it's put me in some pretty bad situations, as mentioned. For example getting a pain, dropping a glass fish, and falling into the shattered pieces of it on the floor. Falling down 6 stairs, because my leg said it was done. Things like that. The thing is, it's easier for me to pretend that things are okay, than it is to accept that I'm 28 years old and disabled.
Anyways, I'm not sure what I rambled for, but thats that.
Thanks for the support.
"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of one thing we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on... or we will be taught to fly.'"
"Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of, You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take; On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough, You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off, Then you Stand" From "Stand" by Rascal Flatts
Dx.: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Ulcerlative Colitis, Chronic Inflammation of the Colon, Ruptured & Fused L4-L5-S1 w/pinched nerves, Degenerative Disc Disease, Chronic Costochondritis, Back Muscle Spasms, Asthma, Benign Tremmors (hands)