Another day of pain,suffering and withdrawl, I am not sure how much longer I can go on. I have tried so hard to follow the rules, listening to Doctors advice, trying new medications, changing dosage/times, stopping/starting medications. eating or not eating certain foods, no alcohol, smoking, or anything that can be called a vice. Why is it so hard to get this to work for me, it's not like I am not trying. I have suffered countless years/months/days/hours going along with my treatment. Honestly I am no better off than when I started this, and sometimes I wish I could stop everything and feel what I was like before I started in pain management. it's frustrating telling my situation over and over again, trying to convince everyone that I hurt and I need releif from the pain, thats all nothing more. Why is it that everyone feels I am faking or making this up, I am not, I just want my life back, I am not asking for perfection, just releif from pain. I feel that it would be better to fix the source of the problem, not try to put a bandaid on it. I was in tears yesterday as I was feeling so sick with pain/withdrawls, I had to force myself out of the bed, as I was there for 24+ hours, thats no way for someone to live, it's cruel. Sorry for the gripping, just I get so angry at this illness.