Still Waiting (update)

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lassieluv
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/5/2008 6:54 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah First of all, I want to thank all of you for keeping up on my condtion.  Your support and prayers have been an enormous help; especially when I am feeling sorry for myself.
 
I just got a call from my surgeon's nurse that my SCS has been rescheduled for Wednesday, May 14th - that's next week.  YAAAY!!  I really didn't expect it this soon but I am oh so thankful.  Only now I will go back to worring about the needle prick going into into my spine.  They did give me what is supposed to be some pretty good meds to help me through it.  My nerves are all bundled up again as I think about the "what if's" and reflect on the pros & cons again.
 
Now I need you guys again to wish me good luck and prayers AGAIN.
 
Here's thanking you all in advance!
 
By the way, I am working on my 11th day of non-smoking!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


lassieluv
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/5/2008 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I am only bothered with RLS about every month or two - sometimes more frequent, sometimes less. So I don't really think that would factor in here. Maybe so though, I've never thought about it or connected the two. And I am too tense to consider relaxation therapy, just kidding. You have definitely given my some food for thought. Thanks.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
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   Posted 5/5/2008 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sure the anxiety could have some impact, although I don't know how much. I know your anxiety may be up a bit because you've done such a great job of getting rid of the nicotene - but still, your body may be more ansy now from slight cravings.

Do you have any relaxation CD's or calming music you could try? I know it's a challenge, but if you combine it with some of the cognitive behavioral approaches I think Gramps had linked you with before, it can help. The cognitive therapy helps with the mental conversations we have - so you've got to start answering the voice that tells you it's going to be too painful, etc. with one that says it'll be a piece of cake compared to the pain you feel on a regular basis (and that's the truth!). Then use some calming music, nature sounds, etc. and allow your breathing to pace to the music. If you start doing this a few times a day, you can help calm yourself, and it will also help you stay a non-smoker.

But it's great that your trial is scheduled so soon - and look in the meantime you've quit smoking!!

Cheers to you Lassie!
PaLady

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/6/2008 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh PAlady, I feel so weak right now. My friend came over, she smokes, so I said to myself, "Just one won't hurt." Now I feel like I have let everyone who has supported me down. I am going to get back on the wagon, at least until after my surgery.

You & Gramps mentioned relaxation excercises. I do have some easy listening CDs. And I have a wonderful video of canoe gently paddling down a stream with sounds of nature. Think I will pull that one out. Thank you both for your concern.

How's your pain today? I hope it is at a good level!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/6/2008 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Lassie,
These stumbles are the way we learn, but remember I told you that nicodemon was powerful - and it is. I am concerned when I hear you say "at least until after your surgery." Smoking causes and worsens so many health problems....including pain. And what if your trial does work, but you get another infection from smoking so you can't have the real deal? Smoking decreases the amount of oxygen that gets to ALL tissues in the body, so my hunch is it may even impact how well something like an SCS may work, although I don't know that for sure.

You've got to decide you want health and you're going to fight for it. That means telling even your friends who smoke they need to leave their cigarettes behind when they come to see you. If they are friends, they wiil do that. You know I had quit for 3 years and then my father was dying so I went to visit them to help. My mother was a smoker and I also said I could have "just one" and then I started telling myself more lies like I'll just smoke hers for as long as I'm visiting, and then it when I got back home the lie was I wouldn't buy any but I'd just bum from friends. Then I bought my first pack and at the time I had quit (3 year earlier) I had been smoking about a pack a day. The little "packmen/women" in the body wake up fast, and you're quickly back to the level you were at, and it goes up from there. Nine years later when I finally was able to quit I was smoking 3 pack a day. And I had constant bouts of bronchitis, and even one bout of pneumonia (which I smoked my way through...sick,eh?). So ok, you learned you can't have people over who smoke. For awhile you might not even be able to be close to them as you may smell the smoke on them (although after awhile you'll see how awful this smells).

Anyway, get back on the wagon. I hope you still have more patches, but if not get some. And yes, those CD's and the video sound wonderful ways to relax. The canoe makes me relax just to think of it!

My pain ....well, that SI joint just doesn't seem to be staying put like it was. I have to figure out how to approach my physical therapist to see if he'll at least check it now and then until I can get the exercises and belt to work like they were before. It was staying put for so long....I forgot how awful it makes things!

Hugs to you!
PaLady

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/6/2008 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, thanks for the pep talk! You would have thought I would have know better. I put a fresh patch on and have no cigarettes in the house. My friend is fine with not smoking around me. She doesn't push me to smoke or anything, it's just that I knew she carried her cigarettes with her always and I just felt like having one. Not to worry, I didn't get the satisfaction from it I used to so I don't plan on trying it again. And I had forgotten about the body's healing process and smoking.

Don't you just get tired of you & your SI joint!? I know I do about my hip & thigh. Why can't they do what we want without the pain. I guess if we had an answer for that - we would be rich! And I can relate to staying put too long - my whole body stiffens up.

Thanks again, for your words of wisdom. I hope your therapist will help you get your excerises & belt to work together. My fingers are crossed for you!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/6/2008 1:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Lassie. Your words of support mean a lot to me, too. You "hear" me well and I appreciate that.

I do grow so weary of pain, especially the extra things that add on to our already lousy pain levels. I got a paper cut yesterday and sometimes you'd think it was the end of the world! LOL

Tell your friend when she visits to leave her cigarettes in the car. And tell her no matter how much you beg (and trust me, you will from time to time) not to give you one! You'll get over the craving and be yet another step toward your health!

Hugs,
PaLady

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/7/2008 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   
PALady - I could just hug you!  You make me laugh, cry, think, and are just plain fun to talk with.  I think you "read" me pretty well too.  You know all the tricks a wannabe non-smoker will use to get "just one" cigarette.  Well I haven't had a cigarette since I read your email of your experiences.  Thanks for sharing them with me.
 
A paper cut - ouch!  They are so little but so painful & annnoying and, as you say, you sure don't need one on top of all the other pain.  I hope your SI joint is better today.
 
I guess I must have upset Toritoo with my comment about the North Pole - I haven't heard from her since then.  I didn't mean to - it was just in fun.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


Cookie122
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 5/7/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lassie, Good to hear that you finally have a date! Wishing you the best with your trial. Don't worry too much about your slip just get back on that wagon like everyone else said and don't let your friends tempt you next time.

Best wishes

Muzz
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 5/7/2008 1:33 PM (GMT -7)   
LL, so glad to hear about the new date, wonderful! Just remember that many things that we worry about never come to pass. As for the slip of the cig, don't worry about it, we all stumble...but u didn't fall, just tripped. You are still on your way to becoming a non-smoker!
I am not my pain, it does not own me.


lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/7/2008 2:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks cookie & Muzz - For your good wishes for my surgery. Today I've been thinking - next week this I will be back home and hopefully feel alot better. Thanks for not condemning me for my cigarette slip-up. PAlady shared some information that has proved to be quite helpful. I don't think I will "cheat" again - keep your fingers crossed for me!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/7/2008 2:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Lassie,
I am eager to hear how your SCS works, too. Who knows, maybe something like that will be in my future.

After another horribly sleepless night I called my physical therapist today and asked if I could get in tomorrow just to have him check my SI joint. His receptionist put me right in; unlike a lot of medical offices, he has a wonderful staff - and after all this time with him we're all on a first name basis! It's just a relief to know he'll check it again tomorrow because I know it's not staying in place, even with the belt. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to tighten the ligaments again. I had it working well until my surgery and then I could no longer do the exercises to keep it in place. So I hope I can get it all to work again.

I'll keep my fingers an toes crossed but I know you may slip from time to time. It took me a couple of years of trying to finally quit, and you're well on your way. As long as you don't let a slip turn you back into a smoker....and we'll all help you with that!

Cheers & Hugs to you,
PaLady

p.s. I have a hunch Toritoo may not be feeling well, or is out enjoying her California weather. I don't think there was anything objectionable about your North Pole reference - I loved it!

Post Edited (PAlady) : 5/7/2008 4:13:00 PM (GMT-6)


Muzz
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 5/7/2008 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
PAlady, good news to hear that u got in tomorrow!! good luck getting back in place :-)
I am not my pain, it does not own me.


lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/7/2008 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm really glad the PT Dr could get you in so fast. I'm sure you will sleep better tonight just knowing that. I'm glad he has a friendly, helpful staff; you know they can sometimes make all the difference in treatment.

Wishing you luck tomorrow!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/7/2008 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Muzz & Lassie. cool

straydog
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13481
   Posted 5/7/2008 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Lassie, good news about your surgery. We are all rooting here for you. I cannot tell you how much mney I have sent on stopping smoking. Everytime I got real sick I would go see my hypnotist. Botton line, I was not ready to quit so it didn't work. We beat ourselves up harder than anyone else can possibly do. Besides its pointless to rag on someone. Now for my bad news I have COPD and I am on oxygen. And I stiull smoke. I just go outside and have one, which has cut me down a whole lot.I did quit for 3 months and did not fudge, then wham one day went & bought a pack. Just don't get in my shoes with copd from smoking. Hugs, Susie


lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/8/2008 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Sad to say Susie, I already have COPD. I am supposed to use my oxygen 24/7 but I only put it on when my oxygen level gets below 89%. I also have a nebulizer, I am supposed to take treatments 4x daily but I forget and really only use it after I have had a flare up. This is another reason I desperately need to quit smoking before my surgery. I don't think they will do it if my oxygen level is not good.

I am struggling to make it 2 weeks without smoking - and you went 3 months, WOW that's great! Of course I would like to say if I had gone that long I would never pick up a cigarettes again. But at least you have cut way back from going outside to smoke - I applaud you for that.

I am trying to get ready for my surgery next week but don't really know what to prepair. Anything to get me out of this wheelchair will be a milestone! Please keep me in your prayers. Good luck & I wish you good health with your COPD.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/11/2008 1:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Lassie,
Haven't seen you post in a few days and hope all is going well as you prepare for your trial.

We'll be rooting for you!

Hugs,
PaLady

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/12/2008 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for remembering me and my surgery. I didn't know you were having something done on the same day. I don't know what a TEE is so I will being at your link.

I have been really depressed these past few days. Crying at the at the drop of a hat and all that stuff. That's why I haven't been around the past few days. I looked at another forum that deals with Survirors of Suicide - Loss of Siblings and I think that might have triggered the depression. I lost my only brother & sister to suicide and thought it might help me overcome my feelings of grief, remorse but I think it only brought those feelings to the surface again.

I will definitely be thinking about you on Wednesday. I think I'll try your way of getting through the procedure too - I'll think about what you are going through at the same time.

My prayers are with you now & on the 14th!!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/12/2008 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Lassie,
I'm so sorry to learn about your brother and sister. Suicide leaves much pain in its wake; I'm glad you are working on your grief, but you've also got a lot on your plate right now. I hope the loss of your siblings is something you've discussed with your therapist and other health care providers. Depression can have genetic roots, and that likely may be the case in your family. All you're going through with your health, your living situation, plus quitting smoking are challenges. You have much strength and courage in you, but like all of us you have your limits.

I wish I could help you more, but at least know I'm thinking of you. It sounds like a phone call to your therapist might help?

Keep in touch with us.

PaLady

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/12/2008 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes Gramps, I have thought about calling my therapist but I am really tired of crying. And I know that's what I would do. Bringing up my relatives is such a sensitive matter. I don't think I should have ever tried that forum; I'm just not ready for it and don't know if I ever will. I lost my brother in 1983 and my sister in 2006, you would think I would have my emotions a little more under control.

I have been doing really good with my smoking!!

Thanks for your concern.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/12/2008 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Lassie,
That was me (PaLady) who recommended talking with your therapist since you said you were getting more depressed. You may be right about that other forum, at least for the moment. Remember, your body is adjusting to being a non-smoker plus you've got the trial coming up, so there are lots of emotions going on.

Great job on the smoking!!! That is really tough to tackle and you're beating the demon!

I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive energy on Wednesday!

PaLady

ryand
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Date Joined Dec 2007
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   Posted 5/12/2008 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Best of luck tomorrow, Lassie! I'll be praying for you.

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/13/2008 2:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks ryand - all prayers are accepted, needed, and appreciated.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


Cookie122
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 5/13/2008 11:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Praying for a successful trial! Let us know how it goes as soon as you are well enough to log in!
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