Just a Thought

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Boxerlover
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 273
   Posted 5/14/2008 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Gramps, I can't tell you how touched I was that you responded to me in the other post.  I have been gone for awhile and the reason for that is that I was feeling ignored by this group.  Now I know people cannot answer every post and as pain patients I know that we can be sensitive and I'm only speaking for myself so I wanted to wait it out and not be over-sensitive.  But then one of the most scary and stressful events happened when my mother ended up paralyzed shrtly after having a pump inplanted, as you know gramps since you were the only one who replied.  Even if others didn't know anything about pumps it would have been nice just to have supportive replies.  After seeing that I had only one reply I encouraged myself not to become too discouraged and updated things with my mom.  And still no replies, no hang in there's no questions to how she or I was doing.  So finally I had to admit that I was not being oversensitive, but for some reason and I'll take some of the responsibility, I was not connecting with this group.
 
So I waited awhile and just lurked and then I answered a few posts with support and to my astonishment they thanked the others who responded by name but completely left me out. So I don't know what more to do.  Again I thank you gramps for always responding to me.  I'm just trying to come to terms with already having it difficult to connect with "normal" heathly people to having difficulty here where I should fit in.  To my knowledge, I have never been rude or insensitive or disheartening, only supportive and wanting to be a part. Again, I never expected everyone to respond, but when going through one of life's trama's it would have been nice for a few words of encouragement.  Oh, and if anyone cares, my mom is doing better.
 
Sorry Gramps, I know you just wanted to welcome me back and as I said I more than appreciate it.  I guess after being ignored again after trying to be a part of the group once again just got to me today. sad
 
Melissa sad

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/14/2008 1:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Melissa,
I am so sorry if I was one of the ones who ignored you. It definitely wasn't intentional; I think I only recall seeing your name on one post, and I don't recall seeing anything about your mother, but I may have missed it. Sometimes I don't read every post. But at any rate, I do apologize for somehow not making you feel more welcome. I'm glad Gramps picked up our slack on this. AND I'm glad you spoke up. Sometimes we need a heads up because we're in our own little worlds.

I haven't responded to much regarding the pumps because I don't have one and don't know much about them. I only know lassieluv is getting a trial today and have been supportive of her, although I can't give her any advice on the procedure.

Again, my apologies, and thanks for giving us a heads up. And I'm certainly glad your Mom is doing better.

PaLady

shannon1
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 5/14/2008 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa, im not sure if our paths have ever crossed, but i just wanted to respond to ur post.

Im so sorry to hear about what happened to your mom, that must be so horrible, im glad to hear that she is starting to do better! did she have a pain pump put in???

anyways, im glad u reached out, im sure that no one was purposfully ignoring you..im sure u will get alot of responses here....i am online alot and would love to chat if ur ever on! hugs, and hang in there w/ us, this is a great group, and im glad u brought up how u were feeling! shannon

lassieluv
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 5/14/2008 2:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Boxlover, I honestly don't believe I have seen you post and with a name like that, I'm sure I would have noticed! How long ago did you post? I am so sorry you were overlooked, I know it was not intentional. In the relatively short time I have been here, these are intelligent, caring people and just fun to ge around. They have helped me go through many milestones and I'm sure there will be many more.

Please come back and join us!
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)


ryand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 5/14/2008 3:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Melissa:

I, too, am sorry that you felt ignored. I don't remember seeing your post, either. Has it been long since you posted it?

I'm glad you spoke up too. I'm still relatively new to this site, but as others have said it seems that the people here really are caring and supportive. Let us make up for it now. The situation with your mother does sound really scary. Are you her care-giver? Is the paralysis permanent?

Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 5/14/2008 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Boxerlover/Melissa:

I, too, have taken myself a mini-vacation from the board....tho not for the same reason as you. I pop in every now and again and read/respond, but I don't read all posts...if it is something I nothing about, I don't even read it. However, reading this post from you has made me realize that there is a sub-content in all posts that I may be able to respond to (even something as seemingly small as "how are you holding up"). Thanks for the post!
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Flexeril
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


Boxerlover
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 273
   Posted 5/14/2008 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey guys, thanks for the quick replys.
 
PAlady, I debated for a long time about saying anything as I know everybody doesn't read all the posts and I didn't want to jump tp conclusions, but when I was ignored a few days ago and Gramps welcomed me back in that post I decided to say something, but thanks for the warm response:-)
 
lassieluv and ryand, I've been posting for quite awhile actually, about18 months.  I posted about my mom back in December,  then I tried again in April and then finally a couple days ago. But hey, I really appreciate your responses now.
 
Shannon and Underbus, my mom had a pump inplanted December 06 but she wasn't getting a lot of pain relief from it.  It turned out she had a fall in March 07 that had dislodged the cath.  So in December07, they went back in and kept the same pump in, but a new cath. about a week later she said she started to feel numb in her legs and on the day of her appointment with the neuro, while she was dressing for that appointment, she went paralyzed and fell to the bed and couldn't move her legs.  She was rushed to the hospital and had the pump completely taken out and what they said was they found meningitus in the cath, gave her strong anti-biotics.  After that she went in patient to rehab for about a month and she just finished out patient rehab.  She still has issues with one leg but over time should have a full recovery.  It was really scary as she also lost bathromm control on both, she couldn't feel when she needed to go and then she needed to go but couldn't so we had to cath her at home.  I am so glad she is better, but it was rough.
 
Mochiah, I hope your mini vacations are for good reasons, not health related.
 
Thanks again for reaching out now and hope you are doing well.
 
Melissa

Sethia
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 5/14/2008 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Melissa,
My heart goes out to you. I just joined this forum just a couple days ago, and haven't had the time to go through everyones posts to send love and support. Reading what happened to your mom makes me want to cry. I have both of my parents with cancer, my dad with bone and my mom with brain. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't fear getting a phone call saying one of them has passed. I am so sorry that she has to go through all that pain. In my honest opinion I believe doctors give out more pain and side effects rather than releif and cures. >.>
I am here for you tho, whenever you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, my myspace is the link under my name. <3
Goddess bless and blessed be
You and your mom will be in my thoughts
Sethia
<3<3
 
'Hey Jude, Don't make it bad, Take a sad song and make it better. remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.
Hey Jude, don't be afraid, you were made to go out and get her, the minute you let her under your skin is when you begin to make it better.
 
And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain don't carry the world upon  your shoulder. Cuz well you know that its a fool who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder. Na na na na na na na na NA.
 
Hey Jude, don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.' <3 <3
 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/14/2008 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for sharing the details for those of us who missed the first time. All this about the pumps kind of makes my head spin. Some people seem to have wonderful results, while others, like your mother....well, horror stories. Of course, I guess that's true with many of the treatments we all try.

I hope your mother continues to improve, and that the worst is behind both of you.

And Sethia, I can't believe all that's on your plate! My good thoughts are with both of you.

PaLady

Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 5/14/2008 7:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Melissa, I don't know that being "part of the group" is what any of us really want...who WANTS to be a CPP? But, m'dear, I am sorry to report that after reading your post that you, indeed, are part of the group!

Sorry, I was just playing around with the words there.....I don't want you to think that I really didn't understand what you were saying. I know exactly what you are saying...it's hard enough feeling as an outcast in the regular world, and you were feeling that way in the cyber world. I do hope you continue to come back and visit with us and share how things are going.
 
My mini-vacation was basically about working on me.  I post in the depression forum, too, and found myself going deeper into depression rather than feeling better.  So, I completely stopped reading for a while and am just now coming back around.  In the pain forum it helps to talk about it, but in the depression forum (for me anyway) talking/thinking/acknowledging it was making it worse. 
 
Glad to see you have decided to give us yet another chance.  Sometimes it just takes telling it like it is to get our attention! 


Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Flexeril
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.

Post Edited (Mochiah) : 5/14/2008 8:56:07 PM (GMT-6)


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 5/14/2008 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Melissa,
I'm so sorry I did not respond to your reply about pain pumps and it's basicly cause I don't know anything about them. I think the pain pump is used as a last resort, but I don't know and I'm sorry your mother went thru a hard time with her's. Please pass on my well wishes to your mother and soft hugz....
Please know that people here care, even though you might not get many responses.
Hugz
************************
* Asthma
* Allergies
* Osteoarthritis
* Spinal Stenosis
* Mild DDD
* Enlarged
Pituitary Gland
* Fibromyalgia
*************************

Patient: "I always see spots with my eyes"
Doctor: "Didn't the new glasses help?"
Patient "Yes, now I see the spots clearer"


Freya
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 5/14/2008 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melissa I'm really sorry you felt so ignored.
I want to let you know I felt a little bit of the same way when I first joined here too and a few times when my replies were over looked also.
But I started to realize people here really do care and want to help with whatever they can. They just may not have known exactly what to say to me or that I was hurt that my replies were over looked.
I myself know absolutly nothing about pumps but you are right and that should not have stopped me from offering support to you or to anyone else.

I hope you do continue to post and give all of us a chance to stand beside you with support and understanding.
Everyone really does care how you are feeling and what your going through.
I was glad I gave HW another shot and I hope you will be too

Hugs
Freya
  In suffering, we are given the key to a door which most rarely 
      get to open.  Behind it lies the ultimate gift which is only visible
                             in our darkest hour.
                                True strength.


Boxerlover
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 273
   Posted 5/15/2008 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Sethia, welcome to the board and I am so sorry about your parents.  My grandmother practically raised me and she died of cancer. It is really hard.  I have melanoma, but am doing OK.  My prayers are with you.

PAlady, chartreux and Freda, I know people care, that's what makes this a great place.

Mochiah, I knew what you meant! yeah And even though it means I am suffering with CP, I'd rather be a part of a group like this with substance and character and knowing what's truly important, then worrying about the shallow things. So now that I'm official, lets have a party!

Gramps, you have no need to apologize, I always see you post and I"ve learned a lot from you.

Deliah, eeehh! Just the word bladder infection gives me the hebegebe's(sp?) With my disease I have them all the time and I HATE them.  When my mom was having problems, she tried to use that stuff that numbs your bladder and then she couldn't tell when she had to go so that's when she had to be cathed.    She's lucky though, as she said she can never feel being cathed even the ones they keep in for awhile, not me, yuck!  Sorry guys if that was TMI.

I hope everyone is doing well tonight :-)

Melissa


Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 5/15/2008 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Boxlover-
OMG, you used a term that I thought only my family used, I don't know how to spell it either, but we call it hebe jeebies. For us it is a feeling like our blood sugar plumets, we get lightheaded, sweaty, shaky, and my heart races. Still don't know if it is blood sugar related (tested normal), vasovagal (called that by 1 doctor), or anxiety.
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Flexeril
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 5/15/2008 8:16 PM (GMT -7)   

melissa,

look, kid.  i am the only one allowed to be invisable in every forum in HW.  it's MY job, darn it!  keep your perfectly good fingers and hands out of my grimy invisibility.  get it?

with love,

warren


That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
 


Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 5/15/2008 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Warren, your sense of humor never ceases to amaze me! You almost never see it coming, then SMACK, you gotta laugh!
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Flexeril
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.

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