Extra helping of "Pity" with this post

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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 7/24/2008 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry all having quite a tough day today with the pain as it is shooting down my right leg and I cannot seem to get it under control. Stray....I am so sorry that I snapped at you in my last post and I feel quite bad about this. I wish that I would not have gotten so upset as you are right and I know this. Things here at my house are bottling up pretty good in the last few days with worrying about this dang Mylogram, company coming in, my house a disaster and worrying about whether this move is a good thing or a bad. (even though I am not sure we are moving at all)

Something has been bothering me about my last visit to my pain doc and I am not sure what to think of it. When I told doc that my B/T meds were not working well he kinda hem hawed around about this and then decided to do the Mylogram to see if things are getting worse then what they were. This bothers me as I do not know what he is hoping to find nor whether the Mylo will even show as to where my pain is located. I just don't know and I'm left feeling a little uneasy about things.

This move (or supposed) has me in knots as I have spent my whole life in WY and I I don't adjust to changes very well. But its all still up in the air which bothers me even more and I am left feeling quite alone as I don't want hubby to blame me for saying No I don't want to move. Four years ago he had a job offer in Sundance and since I really didn't want to move at the time he has pretty much blamed me for this. I believe that he is holding a grudge against my CP and FBS for not being able to do the things that he so enjoys in his life, but won't come right out and say so. After 12 years of being by his side he sould know by now that if he wants to move that I am right there ready to plunge into whatever it is he wants to do, but I feel as though I am holding him back from many things with the CP and geeez it hurts to think this.

W/C; that has always bothered me. a year and a half ago their nurse called me saying that they thought that I should stop trying to fix the problem and deal with what I am for the rest of my life. At the time I was pushing for either a pain pump or a stimulator and had 2 Pain Psychologists workups for this device/s the first told me that I needed to deal with a few things in my life and that I was not a candidate for the pump or stimulator where as the second said that he would consider the stimulator if I went through biofeedback, pain psychology as well as the trial in which they would do two tests to see where I was on moving, bending, lifting and such before the stim and after. W/C denies this ever being stated even though my PS says that it is written exactly like I say it is.

So now.....if I were to be told by my pain doc that a stimulator or pump is my best chances of being able to decrease my pain, W/C says that I have already been through two evaluations and that they will not consider me a candidate ever again. This above all frustrating to me and I wonder why W/C is so hard to get along with when it comes to these trials I mean you don't know what is going to work unless you try the trial right? Anyway the W/C nurse wanted to send me to Denver for a week to this clinic that does the works on a person.....voc rehab, occupational rehab....pain psychology as well as pain medication evaluating and I agreed to it but that was a year and a half ago and I have not heard back from them regarding this.

Its frustrating to hit so many brick walls with regards to W/C.
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


ryand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 7/24/2008 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Scarred. I'm so sorry you are feeling so crummy today. You have a lot on your plate right now, so don't be so hard on yourself, okay? You are right to support your husband in this move, but just remind yourself that you are doing that NOW. Don't worry about the past and what may or may not have happened with the Sundance job. I have only heard you say the most wonderful things about your husband, and it is clear that you love him very much and want to support him however possible. I'm sure he can see this too. Don't beat yourself up about the things you cannot control. (I know - easier said than done.) I hope this move will be an easy transition for you, though.

I don't know much about WC, but I had a thought while I was reading your note... Is it possible that your doctor has requested that you get this Mylogram in order to circumvent the WC's bogus claim that you are not a candidate for the pump or stimulator? I wondered if, knowing that they have said this, he (your doc) is thinking that this Mylogram could show some progression of your original injury that would necessitate a "re-evaluation" of your status as it relates to the pump or stimulator? Does that make sense? Maybe by getting this test, he can force them to let that process start over and get you at least considered again for one of those programs. Again, I know nothing about how WC works, so this is just a guess on my part, but I thought I'd share it anyhow...

Hope you are feeling better by the time you read this. My thoughts are with you. Maybe we can have a virtual 4-wheeler party later too?

Ry

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 7/24/2008 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah I think you are right on this one Ry. I think that doc feels that something else is going on or maybe that my DDD (Degenerative Disc disease) is getting worse then what it once was. I know I should be supportive of hubby he has done so much for me through these last few years and has comforted me in every way he can. I do not know whatever possessed me to question his loyalty towards our marriage, but that will cease. Just a crummy day, feeling blue and not feeling quite myself today. Maybe crying it out will help.
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/24/2008 6:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
I've been busy today so not much time to respond but I do know the feeling of having so many decisions falling on you all at once that it just gets overwhelming. Usualy when I'm like that I know I need to sit back, take a few deep breaths, distract myself for awhile, and then get some perspective by trying to remember (and "trying" is an important word here!) my priorities. We all know you love your husband, and I think in your heart you already know you'll support him in his decision and move, so maybe relax a bit (I know, like Ry said easier said...!!) and let him make the decision, and know you'll follow along.

As far as the myelogram Ry's got an interesting point. Well worth asking about.

And a little crying never hurt. As a matter of fact, usually helps me find that perspective I talked about by venting the raw emotion.

Sending you lots of calming thoughts...

PaLady

tom inpain
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 239
   Posted 7/24/2008 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Pa Lady and Scarry: I never cried till I come home from the Hospital looked around then tried to change my clothing and had to ask for help.
My career was filled with dealing with people that were the scum of the earth and taking them away from their loved ones was at times extremely hard and heartbreaking and I thought that after all those years I was unbreakable mentally, then came my accident and the pain, money problems and not being able to do almost everything I ever did and loved. Now I cry daily and could care less who see's or hears me crying for it ( crying ) makes me feel better.
As for moving to another State wow what a decision for I could not carry or put away anything and would just have to sit around and watch so i guess it's a macho thing for me. Also scary is medical doctors and how will they treat You ? I am still lookin for Ya Scarry-- Doc's in Kansas are hard to find ????
As iam sitting here trying to find something positive perhaps moving will bring friendships and a large change of luck ? Plus the Docs in Kansas maybe much better than Wyoming ?? Moving also brings new scenery, people, places and things and all this could brighten your day and most of all it brings Ya closer to New Jersey where life is filled with wall to wall people, nasty, disgusting attitudes about everything, traffic jams everywhere, lines at shopping centers -- I guess You get the picture. I envy you for living in a rural setting. My area is one of the last holdouts from the builders. Take care and may God Bless Ya's tom
Tom Lasko


Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 7/25/2008 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
awwww thanks Tom and PA.....I am really excited for this move. Hubby and I had a long talk last night and his big worry is finding a pain doc that will take work comp of Wyoming but I am going to spend all week next week working on this and have a few options as far as how to get around the W/C thing. First I will have my sis-in-law set me up with a MD that is in Bucklin where my in-laws live and he will (or so I am told) not have a problem getting me a referral for a pain doc. Secondly I am going to talk to each pain specialist to see if I can find one that will handle W/C of WY and if I cannot find one, my W/C claims gal said that if they give her a list of what procedures and things and what their wc pays for then our W/C will pay the extra.

Monday I am going to speak with my doc that I have right now and explain that we are moving to KS and see if he will give me a little extra meds to cover me until I get an appt with the new doc. As far as how many docs are in Wichita there are several to choose from so I will be spending much of my time trying to find one.

The one thing that is going to be a little hard is that I have to do is figure out how we are going to sell our place here and today I am going to call several realtor's to see what the seller pays and what their commission is for selling our house for us. Then we will go from there as to what we are going to do.

Hubby got a call from his brother yesterday and its a go....the owner is going to do a conference call with hubby today to ask some questions and then if he is ready to do this....we will be moving by the end of next month. So here we gooo it looks like, packing, moving, docs, pain meds, getting my records, selling our house and buying another house is all on the list as to things we have to get done.


Long distance bill is going to be OUTRAGEOUS!
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/25/2008 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
In a way I want to say congratulations...although I don't want you to take that wrong! I see there's so much for you to do, but in the long run it may be a new adventure for you in life and maybe bring some interesting changes. I know when I have to go through these upheavals (and I likely have some looming in my future) I get anxious a lot, but I have to keep my eye focused on "after the fact" and then just take the rest one day at a time. Just be careful about moving activities. It's the one thing I fear about having to leave my house one day. Even moving around stacks of papers can cause problems. So try to enlist as much help as possible. I hope you will have movers and I've never had the luxury but I know friends have had them and they can come in and pack things and move them to your new location and unpack them for you.

One thing - check into prescriiptions you may get from your doc in WY and try to fill in KS. Sometimes there can be an issue crossing state lines. It looks like you're on top of a lot of this, but when you're talking to your doc maybe he/she can talk directly with your potential new PCP in Kansas and make sure they'll pick up your current regimen until you can get settleed with a PM doc in KS. That way if you have a problem with scripts from WY you'll know you can get them from a doc in KS. If you use a chain pharmacy, you could ask if they have branches where you're going and what the state to state laws would be, because maybe there wouldn't be a problem. A lot depends on state laws and your W.C.

We'll be here to support you through this!

PaLady

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 7/25/2008 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
PA; thank you so much for the advice, I do so appreciate all of each of your help. I know that this is an adventure that I am excited to begin, but yet I am dreading it a bit (new surroundings, new friends and especially new doc) but.....this is something that hubby and I have really talked about and I have told him that where he goes I go it doesn't matter where we live as long as I have him by my side. He is a bit concerned that I will want to come back to WY but I have tried to reassure him that he doesn't have to worry about this.

As far as moving, it will be light stuff for me...I refuse to allow myself to be hurt even more then what I am so I have told hubby that he will be doing much of the packing and he's ok with that. He told me that my job will be basically a supervisor and putting on the boxes what is in them. We have decided to have a big moving sale and that will be hubby's job to get things out in the yard and all that. Much of our stuff that is no longer needed will be either sold or thrown in the trash as I do not want to carry with us unneeded stuff that we do not need. Enlisting people will not be a problem as my neighbor and several of the guys that hubby works with have already volunteered to aide us in that respect. Plus Hubby's brother is going to be sending a truck to take all of our things down to KS so we won't have that added expense.

Spoke with a reality company that is willing and ready to place our home on the market whenever we are ready to go for it and I think hubby is only waiting on a call from the owner of the JD dealer in Pratt to go ahead with our plans. We have a 21 foot camper that we will probably access for the time being until we can locate and buy a home down there and there are a few rv parks that we can use.

Prescriptions I am going to look around for the right Pharmacy for this so that I am not caught in a situation where I cannot get my meds refilled. I will have my PCP talk directly with the new PCP to make sure that all is on board with that.

Bringing up the pharmacy is a good point that I have not thought of and I thank you for that, I will check into this so that I am aware of what I need to do to get that on the ball as well. Waiting for a phone call from Kansas Pain Management to see if they will accept my WC and a few other questions that I have for them.
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 7/25/2008 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   

hello all, im new to this site...

3 weeks ago i was in a car accident i was hit from behind while at a stop the girl was on her cell phone and didnt even see me she hit me going bout 45 mph...sence the accident i have been back and forth to several docs and in the hospital for 1 night because of extreme pain in my neck and lower back...

the er doc sent me to a orthopetic sergon who sent me for a mri of my cervical spine, then my lower back went out and was in the most alful pain i have ever been in...called the ortho back who then told me that he doesnt treat lower back pain and that i was go to the emergiency room which i did the er doc then proccedd to tell me that most rear end accidents dont result in injurie which was an amazemment to me but admitted me to the hospital to run test sence i was having numbness and tinglinging in my neck across my shoulders in my lower back and down my left leg...my leg gave out on me 2 times and i couldnt even walk...i could go on with systems but these are the main ones.

they did another mri on my lower back and sent me home to consult with the ortho.. i went to the ortho and he said that i have a bulging dics on my cervial spine and couldnt see anything for the lower back and he didnt see anything pushing on any nerves....

so here i am in total pain and gettting the run round from several diff doc...the numbenss and tingling has increased throught my neck and uperback into both arms and hands into my head and can even feel it when i try and chew on my food...when i sit on my but i get shooting pains all the way up my spine and this electrial cruent feelin through my back and arms and legs..the tingles and numbness are gettin worse and all the doc is saying is for me to pt..and see him back in 3 weeks and we will see....

im frustrated as hell as im in pain and things are getting worse  for me v been off work for 2 weeks...and i feel like the docs are looking at me like im faking or making things up as they CANT see from the mri where there is anything pushing on any nerves..but i know my body and i know something isnt right...i cant even get up and move for much more than 30 mins and im back on the couch...not to mention being drugged up from all the pain pills and the emotional side of dealing with eveything being compeletly out of your control and no one with any ansewers...i was just hoping that someone here would have some advice for me on what to do..

i have only missed 4 days of work from being sick in 2 yrs..m not a slacker nor am i exgratting my condition and m at a loss of what to do bout all this...

thanks so much ladyred

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