Wb mochiah, sorry to here of all you suffering sometimes the emotional can be worse and Im sorry that you are still in so much pain.
I am pretty new to this site and but just want you to know that I went through a divorce about 2 yrs ago and my x was pretty mentaly abusive and leaving him was the best thing I ever did. I felt so much better about myself mentaly when I left even though it was hard being single with 4 kids to take care of.
The up side was all I had to deal with was me and my problems and the kids and not him and his and then dealing with the way he made me feel all the time. At the time I was not dealing with my injuries as I am now but I can say that if i had to deal with him on top of what I am dealing with now I'm not sure I would be able to get through what I going through now.
I know it is hard but I am here if you need someone to talk to even about all that. It is hard even though it is a relife as well.
I hope you realize enough that it was his failings and not yours that lead to his riding you for your CP and your management of it. When one has a failing they usu think that everyone else has the same failing and that is not so. Its like the bully at school they pick on the smallest and weakest to make themselves look and seem stonger so they dont have to look at themselves and see what they need to change about themselves!
Always remember it was him and not you. Sorry just such a pet peive of mine I hate men that pick on woman like that! I quess its more so because I went through that and know what it does to you on the inside!
Like I said if you need anything let me know
Take Care and am glad you are feeling better even if its just a little bit
Oh that sounds so wonderful mochiah upstate New York is so beautiful! I am glad you are gettin away. Not sure if you are going with anyone or not but I know some of the best vacations I have had have been sence I left my x and going by myslef was wonderful didnt have to compramise with anyone and just did what I wanted and met some really interesting people.
I love people so I can just talk with anyone lol and you really never know who you will meet and what impact they will have on your life. Right after my divorce I went to Toranto Canada and by my self and met my fiance there he is from Scotland, a highlander lol:) Yummy accent! We have been together for a little over 2 yrs now and he is wonderful! Working out immagration issues so he can move over here.
The kids never want to see there parents slit up even when the realationship is not healty there is security even disfuction and change is always hard. It does take a stong person to take contol and say enough is enough and think of yourself for once and its something that parents get lost in at times. There is a time and place to think on you and I'm so glad that you did. Opression is its on CP!
I can understand how hard it must have been I was with my husband for 17 yrs and even though he treated me like crap prob 16 and 1/2 of those its still hard to deal with at times and the kids make you feel qulity at times. But I wouldnt trade my state of mind that I have sense I left him for nothing!
But as your kids get older they will realize what you did and why you did it. One thing that I found is that even though he treated me like crap he was always a good father to the kids and so I dont talk about him to the kids and that has helped alot with the adjustment. I have also went through the I will change speach it is my experince that they only change when they loose everything and unfourtunly its usu to late at that point to go back. But all things are possible to those that believe but please be careful. Change takes time and they must be consistant with it for many months to know its true.
When you need to talk I will be here
Take care and have fun on your vaca!
Hi Sue and welcome back. I am very glad to hear that you got rid of the husband. I had alcolism in my family and I understand it very well. You are so right when you say he contributed heavyly to your depression.
Don't you just love some of the stupid things that come out of their drunken mouths. I have always heard the saying "God looks out for fools & drunks" and I truly believe that statement. My 2nd ex was not an alcoholic, but he was mentally abusive, I kicked him to the curb after 5 yrs, that was more than enough, he turned out to be a mean nasty man to say the least. When he went out of town on a job, that I found for him, in 5 days I filed for a divorce, I moved myself and my kids out of our house into an apt. and bought myself a new car and started a new life one more time. I have zero tolerance for anyone abusive in any manner. After leaving him, someone who really knew little about my life with him, said you look better now than you ever have. She also told me she thought he was what was making me so sick at that time and she hit the nail right on the head. My health problems I was having then did a turn around once I got rid of him. lol
Oh gal, you go on the vacation and have yourself a wonderful time, you deserve it. As for the kids, as they get older, trust me, they will look back on things and then will be coming to you and saying, "oh Mom how did you manage to last that long with Dad". Kids even at their age still will put blinders on when it comes to parents, but that too will change.
Welcome to your new life and enjoy every minute of it. Hugs, Susie