Bad day. Ok real bad day!!

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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/20/2008 7:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Today has been horrible!!! The pain is wretched and I got real bad news today. My cousin that I grew up with who was two years younger then me was in the hospital. Well he was having problems breathing and his spleen was enlarged and he had a fever. Well they admitted him Friday and he spent two days in so much pain and things that they put him in the ICU unit until they could get him back down a bit so that they could run some tests to see where the problem lies. Well Sunday I talked to his mom and she told me he was doing fine and that the fever had finally broke and that he was beginning to breath better. Monday he was even better, eating and talking to the family doing well and everything. They had taken him out of ICU...took him off the life support and took out the tubes and the IVs and he was doing much better.

I received a phone call tonight from my other cousin that has been keeping me informed on John's progress and she told me that John passed away last night at 8:00pm. I am devastated! John was two years younger then me! 42 years old and he dies out of the blue not knowing what is wrong with him! No pre-existing health issues....he just dies????? I amd the entire family is totally in a shocked state right now and now I need to go because I am crying again.


hugssss


Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/20/2008 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
I am so very, very sorry to learn of this news. Death is hard enough when it's our older family members and we expect it, but unexpected, untimely deaths are even more painful! I wish I was there to hug you, but know you're in my thoughts and I'm sure the thoughts of many here.

Hugs,
PaLady

ryand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 8/20/2008 8:37 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((((Scarred))))))))))))

Ry

Lindaloo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 8/20/2008 11:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry Scarred. It's so terrible to have a death in the family, especially one so young and undetermined of cause. I feel so badly for you and your family.

Keep your chin up honey. Perhaps they will find a reason on autopsy if they are doing one. Know that I care and am praying for your comfort of your soul. You are a very sweet person and deserve all the support and love now. You have mine.

God bless and gentle hugs,

Lindaloo
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


Hound-Dog
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 183
   Posted 8/20/2008 11:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello scarred_for_life : I am sorry to see that your pain has increased during this time of grief.I truly know how you feel as I recieved the bad news that my big brother (63 years old) had a brain aneursym after lunch on Monday and died on the spot. My pain almost immediately got worse as the reality sunk in and was compounded by the fact that I have neither the health,energy, or funds to travel to his funeral. I think because we are fighting chronic pain constantly, something like extreme grief must interfere with our ability to cope with our normal everyday pain.May God Bless you and your family in your time of sorrow and I hope you start feeling better soon.Take care...........Rod

kara487
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 8/21/2008 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Scarred, I am sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/21/2008 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. Its times like this that one realizes that life is so short and that living life by the moment is what we have to do to make it through each day. John was one of my friends growing up, we spent lots of time as children playing together and this whole thing does not make any sense to me. I truly want to understand why he was taken so soon in life and feel that if I can only understand the reason maybe it will help me to understand his passing.

John was full of life and his life being cut short so soon is just really hard for all of our family to swallow. After talking with my other cousin I found out that night before last he was struggling to breath so they moved him back into ICU. Apparently his acid in his stomach got out of control from his breathing and he had a heart attack before they could get his breathing under control and he died. Amazing how quickly things turn for the worst.

Anyway the funeral will be in Washington and I will not be able to be there so I will send flowers and a card to Laura and Dana to express my sympathy's. He leaves behind a wife of 9 years and two children 6 and 8.

Love you all and thank you for your love and support
Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 8/21/2008 1:14 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((((((((((Scarred)))))))))))))))))))))
Pamela Nightpain

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/21/2008 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys. Another bad day but not with the pain. My pain is down today but my emotional state is a mess! My buyer whom I thought was 100% ready to purchase the house is raising issues with the inspections that I nor hubby are willing to fix. He wants every little thing on the house fixed to his specifications or he will not buy it. To me and my husband this is not an option since the house is a 30 year old trailer that has its own problems that are not a real big deal. Tiny cracks in the linoleum in the kitchen, a porch that needs some work, a door that is backward and last but not least a Electric box that is out of date (1978 never had a problem with it). I am not going to put 3000 dollars worth of repairs into a trailer that I am leaving just because some fool can't handle doing a little repairs by himself and my Realtor is in total agreement with me on this.

She thinks that it is ridiculous to ask to do repairs on a home when the repairs are just knit picking the place apart in the first place. So the house is back on the market and here we go again guys and gals LOL.


hugssss

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


OnSuboxoneTherapy
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 8/21/2008 5:33 PM (GMT -7)   

((((((((((((Scarred))))))))))))))) Sorry for your loss and I agree with you, I would not fix those MINOR problems in your home. This buyer is just trying to shake you down. If he wanted it bad enough he would take it "as is".  Take care of yourself !!!!

 

L  

 

 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/21/2008 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Scarred,
I just got home and am exhausted, but wanted to send you a hug! Something will work out!

I hope you're sitting in the hot tub. You need some soothing!

PaLady

LakeMurray
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 8/21/2008 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry... My prayers are w/ you and your family.  God bless.

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 8/21/2008 9:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh PaL,
This sure has not been your week. More hugs coming your way.
Pamela

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/22/2008 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all. I am really having the worst week that I have ever had! But its bound to get better right? Anyway things are at the stage with the "buyer" that now we are in the negotiation stage until wed. then he can pull out if he so desires. We will go back and forth with negotiations as to what he desires to have fix and what we will actually fix (this we both agree Hubby and I, will be exactly what we agreed on the top piece on the front porch and snugging up the bolts on the gutters). If he does not agree with what we will ultimately fix then he has the option to back out.

I am not going to spend (what I added up and checked into) around 1600 to fix up a 1979 trailer so that he is comfortable with buying my trailer. I think he is getting a good deal with this place and as everyone knows each time you buy a home it always comes with problems that each new owner has to tend to. For him to ask for us to go through and fix problems that are not even broke is ridiculous and I am quite adamant about this.

Anyway, so much for the pain being down today, I woke up in tremendous pain this morning and now have a headache from thinking about this whole deal. arrrrg.

love

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 8/22/2008 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG so sorry with all that you've been through. You have my sympathies and lots of soft hugz. Take one of my shoulders for the moment and lean on me. You've got me with you in spirit...
Prayers.........
************************
* Asthma
* Allergies
* Osteoarthritis
* Spinal Stenosis
* Mild DDD
* Enlarged
Pituitary Gland
* Fibromyalgia
*************************

Patient: "I always see spots with my eyes"
Doctor: "Didn't the new glasses help?"
Patient "Yes, now I see the spots clearer"


worsenow!!!
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 208
   Posted 8/22/2008 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi scarred, i am so sorry for your loss, and for the buyer being an ass. As if you dont have enough to deal with. Anyway know i am thinking of you and your family and i am here if you want to chat
amanda xxx

p.s im not going to try giving you words of comfort as i know through experience it doesnt work, but be sure i am here for you, i know that will help if you want
extreme constipation from birth
fainting spells aged 15, then diagnosed I.B.S
anal fissures, haemorrhoids internal and external
mucous and bleeding
sigmoidoscopies, endoscpies, scans, x-rays, bloods
h-pylori aged 24-26
more tests, diagnosed severe slow transit, marker tests took 3-4 weeks to come away
large colon removed in 2007, aged 27( surgeon said removed 10ft) no colostomy
still in severe pain, awaiting dietician appt, now lots of food intoleraces
 
meds- ibuprofen, fluoxetine, amitriptyline,and omeprazole
 
LOCATION- North east of scotland


Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/22/2008 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your support I really am so blessed to have so many great friends as you all. John's death has left me feeling that life is precious and that each day should be cherished. I know that being in so much pain as each of us are it is hard to think of this but I truly believe that life is a precious gift that should not be wasted.

The so called "buyer" has officially backed out, or so he has told my Realtor. He has told Becky that he wishes out of the contract and she is sending him Void contract papers in the mail. So I guess that means we are back up on the market for more showings. Maybe this was a sign from God that he was not the right buyer for my home and that I needed to sell it to someone else I don't know. He may change his mind still but I doubt it and I really do not care at this point since Becky has many that are interested in seeing the house and did not wish to look at it while it was "under contract"

I do not think it was unreasonable to ask the buyer to handle his own upkeep on the house and I believe that he was being unreasonable to ask me to fix things that are not even bad in the home. The linoleum in the kitchen has a few cracks in it and he wanted it totally replaced, the door in the bedroom was backward which we reversed. The bathroom one piece of the paneling is not been nailed up, the filters in the heater need replaced which aren't usually replaced by us until fall, the oven light does not work because it has never worked and I will not buy a brand new stove for anyone (well...maybe for our new home but not for a home that I am leaving). The porch is dilapidated the inspector said, so he wants it totally redone, forget that and the back porch needs a rail. Drains for the guttering should go further out (please!!) and the front eves need repainted which is not going to happen.

These are only a few of the small trivial things that the buyer wanted completed before we left here and I think that it was an unreasonable request to even ask us to do this. He was rather rude to Becky telling her that he darn well expected his earnest funds back if we were not willing to go that extra mile to satisfy his requests and she got rather upset with him.

Anyway there is where we stand, so we are back on the market and we will see where we go from here.

By the way, thought you would all like to know that hubby and I got our pre-qualification for a home loan for our new home and we are qualified for 80K. So some good news amidst the bad.

Hoping for a LPN

hugsss
Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.

Post Edited (Scarred_for_life) : 8/22/2008 5:38:41 PM (GMT-6)


ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 8/22/2008 4:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Scarred so sorry for your loss....  Will be praying for you and your family.

((((((())))))


Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/22/2008 5:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Ladyred I do appreciate your thoughts hun.


Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/26/2008 5:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
How are you doing? Haven't heard from you, but I've been thinking about you, with all you've had to deal with recently.

Hugs,
PaLady

ryand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 8/26/2008 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Scarred... Just wanted to second PaLady's post. Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way.
Ry

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 8/26/2008 8:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Scarred.

I just read your posts & wanted to convey my condolences to you & your family. Also sorry to hear about the run-around from the buyer & all the pain you're in.

I'll be praying for you to find some peace (both physical & emotional) and for a new buyer who's not crazy to quick write a good solid offer on your home.

take care,
frances

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/27/2008 7:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone. I know I have not posted in awhile, I have been quite busy with packing and getting the house ready to show once more. The guy has backed out and we are back to square one so the house is back to "showing" stage. I spoke with Dana, my cousin's wife and offered all my support that I could with her being so far away from me that I could. The did an autopsy on John and found out that he did indeed have Leukemia throughout his organs (liver, heart, spleen, lungs, bladder, kidneys and the lot) so he was not going to last long anyway and this was a blessing that he passed the way he did.

As each of you know Cancer does not discriminate against age, sex or heritage as to whom it hits and I am glad that John did not suffer long with this horrendous disease. Dana is hanging in there and so are the kids, trying to be strong as they can. John will be cremated at his sister will take his remains to WY where his ashes will be scattered and a small memorial service will be planned. I will try to make it but at this point I do not know if I am going to be here at that point and time so we will have to wait and see as to my where abouts.

Anyway thats what is going on with me right now. In bed today from the cleaning that I did yesterday that I had no help with shakehead My neighbor who I though was helpful to me said if I needed anything to hollar was home yesterday and I did ask for help to clean the house, which I asked her husband. He ran in to tell her and instead of coming over to tell me she had plans or whatever she just took off without a word and never gave me an explanation of anything nono This to me is a unreliable trait in anyone since I have always tried to help her when she needed me so whenever she needs anything anymore she will get a no from me from now on. Maybe that will teach her a lesson huh?

Hope you all have a LPD

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Temazapim, Lunista, and Robaxin.


deb in indiana
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 387
   Posted 8/27/2008 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hugs&prayers
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