I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. Although you are physically limited by chronic pain, you still have a great heart.... and that is the most important quality in being a good mother. Your Ex sound quite mean; as a result, I think it would be best for you to do everything you can to keep your kids from having to live with him. I think you should focus more on trying to get your fiancé into America.
Perhaps this website will help?
You also might want to try receiving help from friends, neighbors, or other relatives. If you tell people who live near you about your situation, they might be willing to help you. After I read your story, I wanted to help. In fact, if you or someone like you was my neighbor, I would help.
Good luck and have a nice day!
Hello all and thank you so much for all your kind words and helpful advice.
When writing that last night I realized that I made it sound like I have no help at all and that isnt true. My mom and dad are helping me out with money right now, as if they dont I will have to move in with them and we have already been there and done that and all of us agree that it is better if I dont live there unless there is no other choice. It is not that we dont have a good realationship we do ,just that me and my mom are very different people with very different views and it causes alot of conflict if we spend to much time together. My parents are well off and I dont like having to ask them for help at all, just makes me sick as im 40 and very independant.
But I realize as well that pride cometh before the fall and I am at a point that I have no choice in the matter no matter how it may make me fell inside. I even went to my lawyer and drew up a contract that when I get my settlement that I will pay them back for everything.
My problem is more the phyical side of things. My kids are older, my oldest is 18 and just out of rehab, sighs, long story, but she just came back to live with me and is detoxing so she is a help but that is limited right now. The others are 14, 13, and 10. So they arent babies. Just used to mom doing it all...
I realize that I am going to have to get them on board as well and here is that pride thing again, I need for them to help out more around the house, well basicly do it all except for the cooking. I cant manage all the running around, work , when I can manage to get there, and school, sports exc. without them doing the house work. I feel bad as they have had to grow up alot faster because of my divorce 2 1/2 yrs ago, but hey we all must do what we must. I just hate that they have had to grow up so fast and not be able to just be kids.
I quess its the long list of the things that come with CP and all the things you have to let go of and just manage the best you know how to. It is the inconsistanies that make it so hard. And it really brings home the lonelyness that comes with CP even with those that love you and believe you but just dont really get it completely. And to top it off I'm trying to get my pain meds managed with something that works for me and that I know can take a bit of time and as of right now that isnt happening, everthing I go on I am having a reaction to or doesnt work. So the pain is there all the time on my best days pain level is at 5 or 6 most of the time I'm at a 7 or 8.
Awww thanks so much Ry,
I know I was going to welfare this week to see about getting some enegy assistance I never even thought that they would cut off like that. i have lived in several states and I have never heard of such a thing. I did talk with someone there and what amazes me is that I have a 150$deposit with them. But they told me that its on the contract you sigh when you first start you electric. But I still think its a disgarce no matter what way you cut it. Quess things are tight for the CEO's of the power companies(not)! 18 million just isnt enough for them eh!
And thank you so much for what you said about my daughter Ry, means so much to me and I quess I never looked at from that point that she feels safe here. That made me feel so much better about all this. Sometimes I feel like a failure as a mom with her. Altho I know I didnt make her do it, It was here choice but you still wonder what I you did wrong along the way.
The hugs mean so much to me so Im sending them right back to you(((((()))))) after all you cant ever have to many hugs can one?