Hello all and thanks so much for the replys...
Frances, I love the idea of a feel good journal. I think that is great and I love how you didnt realize just how much you have gotten of your dreams by doing that. I think sometimes we, well I , dont want to gerneralize here foucus on so much of the negitive and the ugly part of CP and all that we have to let go of. That to start righting down the good things the hopes and dreams is great. And I so do believe in the power of a postive mind set. It is really hard, and I mean really hard to push past it all and just find ways to enjoy the simple things or just to dream of good things...but without our dreams what hope do any of really have.
Maree, my dear friend, I know one thing that has been a great benifit of my accident is that I have learned what, on some level, what you go through everday. It has brought our friendship even closer because of that, and for that I am ever grateful. If 2 woman could be soul mates you would be mine lol nd not in an odd way for all you wondering minds out there lol. You have tought me so much about dealing with life and all it has to offer good or bad with such dignity and grace. Maree you truely are an amazing woman. The best I have ever know!
Lisa, I totaly agree...and believe you me the couch works just fine for me as well alot of the time! As a matter of fact its looking just fine for tonight lol as I have pushed myself to the limit this last week. Kids are mad though because I told them they have to cook and clean up tonight without mom. But WHATEVER as they all like to say
Ry... sighs man can i get you on so much of what you said. I also put on that face with everyone, trying to make them think that im much more capable than I am. I smile and push myself to the limits everyday and then at night i sit and cry in my bed all alone because I am in so much pain and sometimes just want a hug so bad that I ache. Sometimes I wonder if its better to put on that face or worse because when you cant or just dont feel upto it, you get that sad dissapointed look or that ya right look, I know your faking! Im not sure which one makes me more angry!
I really do feel for you. I at least have my children even though sometimes its harder. I wish so much there was something I could do for you and Palady.
I also spend most of my energy doing what I must and not what I want! Labor day was the first day that I have, sense my accident, did anything at all besides what I had to do. It was just really a thought that went through my head I think because I was so angry because I didnt really want to go because I was hurting so bad and just so tired. And I was angry that I am here with CP when I have worked so hard these last 2 yrs to have my dreams realized! So I made myself go, I did enjoy myself though and am glad that I went.
I am also the soul provider here as well, so I know that pressure as well Ry and it sucks big time and that is an understatement! It sometimes feels like the weight of it all will buckle you under. But we are strong women and we do what we must as long as we can, and at the end of the day I can look myself in the mirror and know I did my best, as I know you do as well Ry.
I hope you know it was not a judgement on any kind towards anyone. Just a thought and maybe an encouragement to others, and that is something we also have to fight to keep in our lives and hoping that others might have something more to offer up to us all.
You all take care and thanks so much for all the great post!
Sending you all hugs and happy thoughts tonight and the sweetest of all dreams!
Lindaloo, I forgot to add you to the last post and I wanted to say just for the record that taking care of kids is in itself more than a full time job! and most of the time a thankless one at that lol. So I dont ever want to here that one again Just a bit of the mom in me that comes out from time to time with whom ever Im talking with lol. You also brought up another good point and thats we dont always have to go out to have special time or me time just having a hobby whatever it may be is in itself theraputic and an outlit from all the stress that comes with CP.
PAlady....that would be cool to all be together and be there for each other without having to put on airs and I think we would have tons of laughs...I do have to wonder what a state our house would be in lol as we all struggle with being able to get house work done...but then again I quess if we were all sharing expences then we could afford to hire a maid ...Just for the record always wanted a maid lol! He would be 6'1 dark hair, nice dreamy body and of course he would have to clean in short shorts lol..hey Im all for equalaity !