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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 33
Posted 9/23/2008 12:25 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Everyone. I'm glad to have found you all. I'm hoping to find support, encouragement, friendship & hope I'll be able to be of support to others as well. Presently, I'm living with my mom & step-dad. It's NOT a good situation & things just seem to get worse every day. Many times I've prayed to die! The chronic pain is unbearable & excruciating, and I'm so alone. Friends are long gone & the only blood relative I have left is my mother. I was a nurse for 26+ years but am no longer able to work b/c of the pain. I'm now on SS Disability. I'm on strong meds but they don't control the pain. I'm receiving Medicare, which does not help much at all. I've been denied any type of Assistance from the Dept. of Public Assistance/Welfare b/c the DPA includes my parents income as mine (they go by income for the entire Household, including parents Soc. Sec. & other income/investmnts).
Every day & night are the same :-( Constant PAIN, profuse sweating from the pain being so bad, gasping for air b/c the pain takes breath away + crying. I help out around the house, vacuum, etc... plus run errands freq. for my mom. My s-dad is very irritable & we don't get along well at all. I have a step-sister who is not nice & continues to make life very hard. I'm basically invisable. I try not to let my mom&sdad depend on me to much, but it's just easier to do what they want me to do for them than it go through the tension & stress if I say "no". I desperatly need my own place, medical assistance, pain control & a friend. I need help badly and quickly. I don't know how to go on living like I am.
Thanks SO much for being here,
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 637
Posted 9/23/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Bailey, Welcome to HW. I am sorry to hear your pain meds are not controlling your pain. Ask your dr to switch you to something else for your pain. You have found the right place this website is very suppotative and helpful. Feel free to email any time. My email address is in my info just click on my name it will bring up my profile and my email is in my profile. I will be praying for you.
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 177
Posted 9/23/2008 5:40 PM (GMT -6)
Welcome, hope you get some relief from this site. There are a couple of things I think you ought to know. First, chronic pain grinds you down, and you'll feel miserable in general. The only way to improve this aspect of your situation is to accept your life as it is and "learn to live with it". I know a lot of people say this but it is true. If you can help out and run errands, you can also have a social life (I'm talking from a medical point of view, not a financial one, although I'm sure there are always solutions, I don't believe in a "no-win" scenario). That people are irritable is logic as they can't relate to your medical problem. The general idea is that a person in pain is someone who can't function any more and is occupying a hospital bed. If you can still run errands, etc., people conclude your pain can't be that serious, thus you're a parasite. The reasoning is logic but incorrect as we here all know.
On the other hand, you should always keep things into perspective. Your pain is not "unbearable", otherwise you really wouldn't be able to stand on your feet anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not denigrating your pain or your situation, merely stating a medical fact. If you think the pain is "unbearable" and you're going to die, you most likely are not. If the pain really gets too much, you pass out; when it still increases, you wake up again ... they you die from the pain (but by that time the pain will most likely have paralyzed you literraly). That's what I mean by keeping things into perspective.
Nevertheless I suppose the psychological pain, the pressure, is the most serious problem. Yet from a practical point of view, are you capable of living alone? Can you take care of day to day maintenance of your household? And of course, will this not limit your social life even more?
I'm sure that here, on this forum, you will find help, advice and friendship. Take the time to post and read, this at least will get your mind of things and don't rush into anything suddenly. We're here to help.
Keep us informed and please tell us a bit more about
yourself (if you fell that is appropriate of course). Always feel free to e-mail. Take care.
To stand and be still at the Birkenhead Drill is a mighty bullet to shew.
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
Posted 9/23/2008 9:45 PM (GMT -6)
Welcome and I am sorry that you have to be here...You will find alot of support and help here.
First thing first as far as welfar goes... get your mom to write you a letter saying you are responisible for paying for you own food and room and board...but keep with within what you are getting from disiablitly and that should help you out a bit more with the walfare office and what benifits you can get. I would say use up at least 2/3 of your income. I know it seems a bit dishonest but you have to recieve health care and we should all be intittled to at least that.
After my accident I was able to get health care because I wasnt working but as soon as I went back part time I would have lost everything including my house if I didnt tell them that my mom and dad were paying me rent and that I wasnt back to work yet. But without health care through the state I would not even be getting any coverage at all and I would then be sitting here with no help and no hope and Im single with 4 kids to take care of.
I would also check into getting a new doc to manage your pain for you and sometimes it takes going through many docs to find one that will and can help you. I have been to at least 4 to date and am thinking about
finding another one because I am not happy with the way things are going right now as well...Always remember that your doc works for you and you have the write to fire him and find another if your arent happy or getting the treatment you need or diserve.
I really understand how bad the nights are im in the same boat...I hate them and they used to be my fav part of the day and now I just dread the nights because the pain is so bad that I cry myself to sleep eveynight when I finally pass out and so far nothing they have given me helps at all during the night and that just wares you down and makes things so much harder to deal with. You need to get that sorted out asap and if finding a diff doc is the answer then that what you need to do...im in the same boat with that as well im looking myself.
I hope things get better for you and remember that this is one thing you can control is how and what your docs do for you even if its just because you can walk out and find a new doc that will treat you...
good luck and once again welcom
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
Posted 9/24/2008 11:47 PM (GMT -6)
Hi and welcome!
I'm so sorry for your situation. No one should have to live this way...and that means you! First call is to the Red Cross in your area. You don't have to be flooded out nor have a tornado blow your house away to get their help. There are so many programs to get you self sufficient. Transitional housing, medical and prescript
ion help...even free, but you must start knocking on doors and asking for the help. It's not easy and it's tough on the ego and spirits, but it's probably the only way out.
open with your doctor and whoever else you get hold of. Your medical condition should be priority #1, then the housing and other things. Willow...I know some days you don't feel like living, like you wish you hadn't even woken up. I've had those days, but please believe me when I tell you there is hope and help. And also there is at least 1 person in this world who cares that you live...ME! Take my hand(extending hand) and I'll help you through. I'll do whatever I am able to do to help you get what you need. But don't give up. Yes, the pain does feel unbearable, but with some help you can beat it.
ps..feel free to email me. Click the little envelope under my name over there <---
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