Hugs to you, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much this last while. I wanted to interject something here.
One of the things that drives must of us so crazy is the what ifs in life. What if I cant work, what if I dont get better, what if I cant make it..exc..But at the end of the day they are just that uncertainies and without trying we will never know what it is we can and can not do. And sometimes a leap of faith is all we need to make our lives a bit better.
I know this is such a struggle for most of us and I by no means judge you on any decission you make with anything because you are the only one who will know what you can do and what you cant do. I know for myself it is a struggle and I work maybe 25 to 30 hrs a week, but I also have the added stress of kids and all that comes with that. I think for me I would be able to handle working more without the kids because I would be able to come home and rest inbetween work and bed.
I also think if I had to sit at home all day I would go nuts, Im in pain no matter what I do, so for me whats the difference might as well work and have the socialization and at the least the feeling like I am still somewhat capable. But that is just me PAlady. You have to do what is right for you as you are the one who has to live with the consequences good or bad and only you know what you are capable of doing or how much you can tolerate.
I really wish you luck with this PAlady, Sometimes its not easy to make such life changing decissions when your healty let alone with all that we have to deal with. I just want you to know I am very proud of you through for putting yourself out there and at least trying it shows that you are still fighting, ( and no offence to any that have had to quit and stay home because of there CP we are all in different places phyicaly). and how knows a cure might be right around the corner.
You take care Palady and I really wish you peace with this decission what ever it is and just know that we are all here to support and love you no matter what that decission might be.
Allong with the agony of Cronic Pain is the confusion,forgfetfulness,inability to finish little progects,(in the time you said).Also for me, anyway what is so important to me one week may not have the same importance the next week. I dont know why. I have ten thousandthoughts and ideas flying around, but then I think.............I'm not normal. I have a problem........
Then I think, how can I acomplish my goals in my temporary body and mind.........depresion settles in and then sometims spitefullness..............
After I manage to settle down and relax I go to P.T. And there are people who have a positive outlook at life. They smile,laugh,tell jokes and are on the completely opposite side of the glass where looking through!
hiya Palady. Things in the US must be quite different as they are here. Here there is a government initiative which employers have to employ the disabled and people of a more mature age!!! Its all an equal opportunities thng. So even if someone had your health problems they should still get the job if they have the best qualifications for it. I hope i didnt offend you. If i did i am so sorry, but here age etc... should not be taken into account. Here you would probably actually have more of a chance. Things in the US sound so scary, here you would quickly get disability etc... which i hear is not too bad.( you also get a good car to help you get about) Just a pity you cant emigrate to the uk. Free health care and your age etc... would probably mean free meds also. Then a council house with cheaper rates. Right now i thank my lucky stars at being here, as i could not have afforded my op, meds or constant doc appts. I have full faith that you can do well in this job. Maybe for the interview you could take half your meds, just to take the edge off the pain but where you still have your wits about you!!! hav you ever thought of doing a telephone counselling job??? that would maybe be not as physically demanding, and i am sure that your constant advice giving here would stand you in good stead, i have considered such a job but i keep expanding my family so there iis no point me even trying. But hey at least you will know one way or the other if you are able to.
I do understand age can be an issue i sometimes already feel like that, with the kids and everything, but you have got this far and i have faith in you as many others will
always thinking of my HW friends
well palady, after 28 and a half years of chronic pain i think i qualify!!! things have been horrific since being born, and nothing on this earth worked. No meds, no ops, not even new age fandangled things. Yeh i had kids throughout my awful pain, but i had to if i wanted a family. Constantly off school growing up, fainting through pain in front of friends, most of my life couldnt walk or stand straight!!! i now have a lumber arch, which my consultant told me about. Finally after a miserable life of not being able to do the things i should have been doing i can. It has been a long road. A long road that my kids know why mummy is lying down. A life where i couldnt be a proper wife or proper friend. I have been off my meds for 2 months, i had my last op june laast year. A combo of things finally helped, and i am not ashamed to say i am finally well. But i still think that it does not make any less an appropriate person to be on the chronic pain site. Considering i have only been well 2 months, pain is all i know.
Throughout this site stories are always heartbreaking, everytime i read somethng new i want to reach out and hug that person and tell them that things can get better. Once upon a time i was told by docs i had this for life!!!! well i dont, and i am happy. Sharing good things and bad things is the whole point of this site. I know from coming here, i had my hopes raised and it worked. Every one needs hope in their life. I also only mentioned the age issue, because you mentioned it yourself in your post, bu i am also not the only one to suggest things to you. i had absoloutly no intention of upsetting you, but please do not make light of the problems i have suffered since birth just because i am finally free of it, but i also have no idea if it will last, i am enjoying life while i can, so please do not make me feel guilty about it
always thinking of you amanda x
Post Edited (PAlady) : 10/4/2008 6:58:06 PM (GMT-6)