Just an update

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ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 10/8/2008 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I had my nerve testing done on Monday and I dont know if its me or just my body being sensitive, but wow did it hurt.  I was ok with the electric thing altho at points it was very uncomfortable.  But when they stuck the neddles in my back to test the mussles or what ever it is that is for, I almost came off the exam table and nearly passes out from the pain.  God that hurt and I am still sore today as well as bruised on my back.  But oh well just hope they find something they can fix.
 
I also had my second mri today, I asked the tech if he saw anything and he said he didnt but he wasnt a doc so that doesnt mean much, but I would assume if there was something there he would have caught it.
 
That is a double edged sword,  I dont want anything to be worng but on the same level I wish there would be something they see that could me fixed so I know what Im dealing with and how long it is going to take to get better.  Instead of I dont know and I dont know what to do to help you to get better and it just a wait and see game. 
 
But on a lighter note,  I have been doing PT everyday and I have to say that it has helped in one way, my scatica seems to be doing better hasnt touched the back pain at all but has helped with the left butt pain and the pain down my leg.  Which I will take any reliefe is better than nothing.  I just wish I knew what was the matter with my lower back.  My pain management doc told me that there was no way he thought it was soft tissue damage at this point and the pain I was discribing didnt jive with that...sighssss
 
If the mri doesnt show anything im not sure what the next corse of action will me with me.
 
Just wanted to let you all know what was going on, I havent been on much lately between doc appointments and home and work im lucky not to be in the hospital at this point from sear exhustion.
 
I hope you are all doing well and having a low pain day
Take care my friends
Lara
 
btw, it is nice to know that there  is a place to go that everyone gets it even without a definative diagnosis.  But there is no one saying your faking or get over it.  So thanks to everyone!  I will keep you all informed of the test results when i go back to the doc next wed.
 
 

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/8/2008 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Lara,
We sure do get it! The thing that's frustrating is that there may be diagnoses and other such things identified but that's still no certainty of a treatment that works. Many of us just have to patch together a variety of things and get whatever relief we can.

MRI's are challenging to read, and even doctor's may differ, so I don't think the tech could tell you one way or the other. Even if they do see something, they're technically not supposed to tell you. I'm glad the PT is helping, though. That's a good sign. Keep at it! It may mean over time you can manage a lot of your symptoms without surgery or a lot of meds. PT just take sticking to the exercises, etc., even after you've finished with formal treatment. We all have to watch how we move, etc., probably forever, but that's not a big deal if it keeps symptoms calm.

Try to relax a bit. You've been through a lot!

PaLady

skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 10/8/2008 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Lara,

I completely understand where you are coming from. You don't want there to be anything wrong, because obviously, that is bad. But at the same time you pray that they'll find something to explain your pain so you know it's not all in your head (even though you know, but you still feel like you need justification at times to convince others). And, if they do find something, then perhaps, just perhaps they can fix it, or you at least have a better idea of how to approach the problem!

I'm in a similar situation. An MRI didn't show my problem either, although we know (or are as certain as you can be) what the problem is. But there is always that hint of doubt. Yet no one knows what to do. One of the trademarks of my condition is that it is extremely unresponsive to any type of treatment. We've already exhausted just about every option, and no one knows what to do to fix the problem, and no one knows when, if ever, it will go away. Believe me, I'm with you when you say that a part of you wishes they had found a problem! It would make things much easier, or at the very least bring some closure and some emotional relief.

I hope they find some answers for you, whatever they may be! Try not to think about it in the mean time & get some rest.

Skeye

Post Edited (skeye) : 10/9/2008 10:28:24 AM (GMT-6)


d2parrotperson
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 320
   Posted 10/9/2008 9:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Here's to it being something treatable.
150mg Azathioprine, Lomotil, Iron, Nexium 2/day, Fentanyl patch, Oxycodone, Baclofin
Crohn's, Fibromyalgia, Several bulging discs, Bone spurs, Osteoarthritis, Osteopenia, Reflux, Stenosis, Strictures, Dengenerating facet joints
2 resections
 
Stephanie
When I am weak, then am I strong


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/9/2008 12:29 PM (GMT -7)   
shakehead  You are right I had that test a month ago and it hurt like heck.Also your MRI tec cannot tell you if he seen anything or not.Hope you get some releaf soon. shakehead
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression


ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 10/9/2008 5:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear mom9mom thanks for saying it hurt you as well always nice to know your not a whimp lol..

And thanks to everyone for all your imput and friendship it means the world to me right now.  I have just been going through so much this last while and I feel like im on the verge of cracking up right now.  Im sitting here crying my eyes out just wrighting this.  I dont know whats the matter with me any more.

How do you cope all the time when everyday seems to bring new challenges on top of the ones you already have?  I cant even deal with what I have let alone the new sh** that keeps coming may way.  Im just so tired and worn down to the bone.  I feel a bit lifeless right now like everything is such a great effort and there just any place else to drawl from.

I struggle everyday with calling my ex and saying im dropping the kids with him and taking off to europe to be with my fiancee and saying ok you take care of me for awhile because I just cant carry it anymore.  I hate this, I have never been like this in my life time and I dont know how to deal with it anymore.

When I talk with people some get it to an extent but others (most) just look at you like ok so get over it or ok what can you do to change things.  Well do they not think I have already gone over what can I do to change things.  grrrrrrrrrr its so frustrating and then I find myslef freaking out on everyone because these people know me and they know im not a slacker and they know im a problem solver what do they think im doing all the time.  What is there to figure out.  Im hurt in pain all the time, Im being used as a pin cushion, running back and forth to doc after doc to find answers, i dont sleep, I push myself to the limit everyday.  My days off are spent running to doc appointments.  I have to take care of my kids, I have to work, I have to do what I have to do. what is there to give up!

I talk with the docs about all this and get no where but more test, the meds im on dont work and no one will try anything else.  Im on medicade and no one wants to take new medicade patients anymore because they dont pay.  So its get a promise to pay from lawyer which is eating my settlement (what ever that may be) to peices.  At this point who knows I might end paying out of pocket by the time its all said and done.

Im still fighting with welfare to get food stamps and they keep giving me the run around and thats been almost 7 weeks now sense I have applied.  My marrige visa for my fiancee is still in the works dont know how long its gonna take till thats sorted and hey lets not forget Christmas is right round the corner and I cant even pay my bills anymore let alone think about buying presents for my kids.

What I dont get and sometimes just eats at me is why! Why me?  I have worked my whole life, I have lived my life to try and make a difference in this world.  I have told the truth worked hard did what I have to do and did it the right way.  When i have had made mistakes, I have tried to learn from them to become a better person.   I have given to everyone in my life and taken care of everyone else, why when I need help is there no one around to phycail help.  My mom and dad right me a check every month sence the acc, but when I call and ask for the phyical its I cant or well why cant your kids do it, you need to make them do it.  Then im like mom If I could get them to them I wouldnt be calling you.   I just dont have it in me to  fight that battel right now.  Still nothing. Dont get my wrong im grateful they help out with paying my rent sence the acc but I need some phyical help. 

I call my ex and ask him to get the kids for a while till I can get this sorted and all i get from him is excuses and reasons why i need to hold on till April.  *** if I could hold on till april then I wouldnt be calling him asking for help!

I have never been a person to wollow in self pity or to stay down but now I find myself in this place and I dont know how to get out of it.  I feel like a victim and in ways i know I am but I dont like playing the victim at all.  I dont like using things as an excuse for not dealing, but God I just dont know how to deal with this.  I feel like I have lost myself completly.
 
Then there are those odd days that you think you are feeling better and you try to get back to the old self and do things and as soon as you try you realize that ok you feel a bit better but your still bound by pain and limitaions.  And it like a ray of hope that just gets snatched away and your left a bit more defeated than you were if you hadnt tried.  Hence I was feeling alot better yesterday and then went food shopping by myself and 45 mins later im in my car crying my eyes out because I was in so much pain and thinking what just happened I was feeling better.  Is that my limit now I cant walk more than 30 mins without stopping, how am I soposed to live and function life this.  How am I supposed to raise my kids like this.  grrrrrrr
 
Im so sorry for going off like this but I feel like im about to expode.  I quess my hope is seeing how you all deal with it when you get to your end of your rope.  How do you hold on and keep going and keep a postive attitude with it all? What do you do when your so down in the dumps?  How do you change who you are into something that your not?  I dont know just needed to vent and cry and just let it all out all the fears and worry that has been eating at me this last while.
 
Thanks for listening
Lara
 

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/9/2008 5:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Lara,
I wish I could be there to hug you and offer a shoulder. I so understand the feeling of being at the end of your rope, overwhelmed & exhausted and I don't even have kids. I tihnk we've "talked' about this in prior posts (and that's ok because it's not something that gets "fixed" it comes and goes for us all) and I think you really do need to get some help. Even if it's your husband taking the kids to give you a break (and yes, even your just dropping them off - they are also HIS children),you may feel better. Even if it's only having a few days off.

I can't remember if you're on anti-depressants, and I'm not suggesting your problems are psychological, but the pain causes depression in our bodies as well as our minds, so an anti-depressant could help that. I'm on one, and it at least stopped the low lows - the nightly crying and feelings of despair. Now, of course, the despair doesn't FEEL as deep, the hole I'm in still IS deep (if that makes sense!). At least I don't cry in bed every night.

And I, for one, don't keep a positive attitude all the time. I'm all over the place, even though I might not post it here. So don't feel you have to be positive always. That's not human, especially with all the stress you have.

What about dropping the kids off to your husband - even for a week or two. Sometimes that break can help you get some rest, and get a different perspective on things.

I so wish I could help more, but I can be here to listen. And many others are, too.

Hugs,
PaLady

mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/13/2008 11:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I just read your last post because I have been in alot of pain the last few days.I also take a anti-depressent. I was depessed befor my medical problems infact thats what caused my medical problums.I dont know what I would do with out them now.Even with them its hard to deal with the pain all the time.Just know that its not just you boohoo about that. We all have are days that we have to cry just to get though that day.I still have alot of days like that infact today was one of them.I hope that it might help you to know that we are all right next to you and that we do understand.
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression

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