How To Look Really Bad

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Pamela Neckpain
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/19/2008 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I lose my comb, I lose my lipstick, I lose the butter, I lose my purse.
I lose the milk, mustard, and my mind all in the confines of my small kitchen.
What do I NEVER lose? My medicine.
I don't lose my meds because my life depends on it!
If I lose it, doctors will get suspicious..
If it gets stolen, doctors will wonder.
If I tell them my sad sad story about the loss of my dog, and the increased pain that
went with the loss, it simply doesn't fly with the docs.
Sooooo .... in six years, I have never lost one pill -- NOT ONE.
I have had increases in pain due to injuries, and have called my doctor twice and reported
the problem. Both times they have increased my prescription slightly to see me through.
Our life depends on these medicines. If we don't have them we can go into withdrawels or
our doctors can simply not trust us and we suffer.. They write it on their charts and in this day and
age EVERYONE knows EVERYTHING. It will be very difficult to get another doctor.
I've had extreme pain. I have felt like I really deserved more medication. DESERVED IT!
I cried for it.
But, you know, most of us Intractible Pain people go through this.
I believe we all think our special pain is the worst.
There's just no way to have a contest.
I appreciate my doctor because he does prescribe Opiod medication ~ many doctors do not
prescribe because they've been burned just too many times. If they mess up, they can lose
their licenses.
Take Care,

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 10/20/2008 5:14 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah   Aint it the truth, bravo, well said. I know to the day on the calendar how many oxycodones i have. I do a pill count every two weeks, stack them up according to the block on the calendar to make sure ive been a good boy and will have enuff till i pick up my next scripts. Well, last saturday i did the count, i had exactly the right amount. Low and behold, come monday when i unlock the safe/box and get my morning meds out, ummm, thought i had more than that? Re did the count and found 24 missing. Pissed? oh boy was i. A family member, who we have living at our house for we let him finish out his house arrest at our home, deliberately searched and found my key to the safe and helped himself. I finally got him to admit it aftertwo days of interogation. For i knew i didnt over indulge myself, never have. Now, those remaining pills are cherished, i have to get by daily with one and a half pills for i cant go running to my doctor and tell him, i cant report to the police or he gets three years for his screwups. I sit here in pain. Breaking my pills in two and making it work somehow. Im not comfortable at all. I wear the key now around my neck and my son is out of the house living sixty miles south with his girlfriend. Keep em locked up folks. I was to trustworthy and thought things were changing around for him, i was wrong. And i will continue to count my pills. This is a situation none of us want when we depend on our meds for some quality of life.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 10/20/2008 7:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh elderly, I would have been so mad if that had happened to me. Don't think I could have resisted throwiing him out on his bottom for that. There is no excuse for a person doing that, NONE!

I hope you get by ok and keep that key around your neck. God's blessings!


By the way, I don't think I have welcomed you to the forum yet. It's a pleasure to have you. Keep posting.
Moderator Chronic Pain
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/20/2008 10:03 PM (GMT -6)   
I sometimes forget how young you are. I wonder why did you pick that name ~
Not that there's anything wrong with it.

MY STORY: Six years ago I was switching towns and pharmacies. My Pain Doctor
gave me one of those giant bottles so I'd be prepared for the move. I didn't
count them. So, it gets down to about a week and I realize I'm TWENTY
short. Holy cats. I called the new pharmacy and spoke with the pharmacist.
I called my doctor. Fortunately, he prescribed what was taken. His nurse said,
"Always have the clerk count your pills in front of you." Well, I changed pharmacies
again and politely asked the clerks to count. Somebody always did.

I changed pharmacies and this counting went on for a couple of months and then ...
we ran into the pharmacist from
Hades. She shouted. She accused my husband of not trusting her. (I wasn't
around) He said her face turned all red like congealed jello.
There was a line of patients behind him waiting for their prescriptions. He was

Anyway, the head pharmacist came to soothe things over. He counted. All
the pills were there. The count was right.

But guess what??? Someone had ADDED a pill. It didn't look anything like
my other pills. I never did find out what it was but my files did show that
I was a pharmacy hopper. Mrs. Jello face may have been fired. I never saw her
again when I went in to buy lipstick. (I had my pharmacy files changed)

So ... Anyway, I get big scripts now. As soon as I get home, I'm counting them.
I totally trust my pharmacist and the assistants but WHAT IF ....

Pamela Neckpain is wearing her fingers out on this one. Thank you, ElderLY.

El: You could tell your doctor that your rocking chair broke with you in it ... or something. I'D BELIEVE YOU.
Things with relatives get really sticky. sad

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 10/20/2008 9:07:05 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 10/21/2008 1:16 AM (GMT -6)   


Boy, it sounds like you and I could compare stories :)  My blood pressure went up just reading your post.  I was just noticing that one of my pain med bottle's says "double-counted" next to the Quantity: 180.  My husband made them count the meds again for the exact reason you wrote of...

A few months back, I got my breakthrough med (Dilaudid at the time); there was supposed to be 120 in the bottle; I remember looking at it and thinking "wow, that doesn't look like that many"...but, after 5 years, I've never had a pharmacy "short" me (I've had just about every issue known to man, besides that, though...).  So, I didn't give it another thought...until about a week later, I went to get a pill and I was like "something is wrong; there isn't enough meds in this bottle"...I counted them out - and, sure enough, I had 30 less pills than I should have had!  Knowing I didn't take them, and that my meds are locked up - I knew that it HAD to be from the pharmacy.  But, I told my husband - how can we prove it??  With all the judgements out there, I automatically thought we would be accused of "lying".

My husband (thank goodness for him!) talked me into letting him talk to the pharmacist about it.  Long story short, she said this happens from time to time (people will say they are shorted) and they have a way of doing an internal audit of the meds (like if their count matches how many pills should be on the shelves, etc).  Anyway, they ended up saying they couldn't find the "discrepency" (of course); so - I just let my doc know what happened.  Fortunately, after all this time - I have a PM doc that trusts me (has no reason not to, though - I feel like we should ALL be trusted unless we've done something that caused concern). 

Soooooo - we count my pills now AT the pharmacy.  My meds are in such quanities (180, 210, etc) that I just wouldn't notice a 30 or 40 pill shortage - until it was at the end of my prescription....  Sheeesh, managing my health care has really become a full-time job.  Just wanted you to know that I can relate (sadly enough....).

BTW - how's your husband??  --Tina

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/21/2008 6:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't think my husband will ever be quite the same. That high high
fever ... over 104 said the Ambulance Driver kinda kicked him.
He acts a little different
and spends quite a bit of time in the restroom. (?)

Pharmacies should have speical little patient rooms so the person counting
the pills cannot be seen by others. One time we thought we were being
followed home. I hate it when the clerk shouts "Mrs. Neckpain, here is
your Super Dooper Miracle Opiod. Just be sure you don't smoke it, snort
it, cut it in half or put it in your company casseroles." I've spoken to them
about it but they don't understand the big deal." Depending on your part
of town it is a big deal ... actually crime occurs in any part of time.
Now ... After all this: Will I sleep???

So good to have you back, Tina.

Pamela smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 10/21/2008 12:20 PM (GMT -6)   
  My nickname came from being digital addicted to a pc video game called Quake. A friend and i went in as Elderlyman and Elderlywoman and wreaked havoc on lil whippersnappers online ingame. I just shortend it a few years later and the tag stuck. Im only 57, but you know what they say: you havent walked in my shoes! I raced moto cross, fell off a couple ladders and roofs. The grand finale was falling backwards down 13 stairs, landing on my back, passed out on the landing sitting up against the wall. Nothings been the same since, ouch.
  As for the meds, im doing ok, trying not to think about it, i just get more upset which causes stress and it causes me more pain. I have my 10mg of oxycontin morning and eve, just less breakthru meds which i need the most. Thankyou all for your concern wink

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13366
   Posted 10/21/2008 12:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, Pam, I had to laugh at you losing your items, as I am known for the same thing. Its amazing how things just slip away from us. Where does it go. I am very, very fortunate, no one messes with my medications at my house. I do feel for people that have to lock up their medications. The one that had her meds taken by the ungrateful family member, should have been kicked to the curb. Let him do some time, maybe there he can actually learn from his mistakes, he sure isn't now and living with someone trying to help him.The HIPA laws should prevent the pharmacist from yelling out your name loudly along with your names of meds. I would be contacting a supervisor over that one. Hugs, Susie

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/21/2008 4:16 PM (GMT -6)   
OMG ELderLY you are a walking book. The tone could almost be humor. Please
don't get me wrong on that. Great stresses do lead to comedy. I know this because
I took care of twelve preschool age children in my home for sixteen years. When
I wrote the book down, it was funny. I did great injury to my left shoulder by always
carrying a two year old on my left side while performing puppet shows with my
right. My grand finale was when I misused a s-h-i-a-t-s-u machine on my neck and
upper back. It sounds uneventful to reeling backward down 13 stairs! Yes, stress
causes pain. I just don't do it anymore.

straydog Susie: It's terrible to lose stuff often. Mine is particularly bad because I have
ADD. It was diagnosed eight years ago. The medication helped immensely and
so did learning about what it is. I do not take meds for it anymore. Awareness
works ok.
Yes, perhaps we should do a thread on the world's worst pharmacist. Apparently
there are no laws for secrecy at the pharmacy. I don't want to bring it up. I like
keeping my profile low. yeah

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 10/22/2008 3:41 PM (GMT -6)   
 Two more days till i pick up my med scripts at Pain Management, i am excited as a young child on christmas eve. Wonder if the pharmacy will gift wrap? smilewinkgrin yeah

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 10/22/2008 5:13 PM (GMT -6)   

ELderLy, I'm glad you get your meds in 2 days :)  Welcome to the board.  I'm fairly new, too; the people here are very's so good to "talk" with people that understand. 

Pamela - I just now noticed that you live in CA; I'm here in the SF Bay Area.  What part are you in? tongue


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/22/2008 9:12 PM (GMT -6)   
smilewinkgrin Oh boy! An early holiday. We will exchange, of course. I'll wrap
up a nice bottle of Senokot-S. Nothing better.

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/22/2008 9:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I thought you had a San Francisco twang.
I've lived in San Francisco many years ago and now I yearn for it. I can't go anymore
because of pain issues.
I went to UCSF a couple of years ago. The Neurosurgeon's office there looks like it's
Heaven. It's on the top floor (way high) and you have a panaramic view of the whole city.
I waited, in pain, for two hours to see the Great Wizzard and when I finally got in
to see him he suggested a gawd-awful procedure on my neck. I said, "Oh wonderful,
that will be great. I'll take it!" and then beat a quick retreat. I had no intention
of putting my swan-like neck on the chopping block. . I just had to say
something. I was in too much pain. If I'd tried to speak I would have broken
out in hysterical crying. If I had done so, they would have sent me to Psychiatric.
I got lost on the way out to find the car and hysteria overtook me again. I spent
the visit breathing into a brown paper bag.
Pamela rolleyes

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/22/2008 11:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Just have to chime in that I LOVE San Francisco! yeah I sure have left part of my heart there, even though I've only visited a handful of times. Tried to move there many years ago, but couldn't find a job and couldn't afford the cost of living anyway.

I hope one day I can get back to visiti a good friend I have there, but health and finances make that unlikely. So I'll just dream and look at the photos I took. :-)


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/23/2008 10:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I used to write a newspaper column. Every Saturday (or Sunday) when it appeared
and my big face lay face down on everyone's driveways, I'd go to S.F. and forgot
my problems - staying overnight was reasonable. This was about ten years ago ...
No pain.
Just fun and long walks and eccentric wonderful people.
Sometimes I just don't like my current life. It SUKS.
Hope you are well today, PaL and everyone else.
ARGHHHHHHHHHH! shakehead shakehead shakehead

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted Yesterday 7:36 PM (GMT -6)   

Pamela and PAlady -- yes, SF is definitely a unique place :-) And it is very beautiful...

BUT we just spent two years in Colorado - and I left my heart there  wink   The weather was sooo much better for me (I have severe temperature regulation issues, so I'm always overheated); we had a great church; we had such a bigger house for so much less than here.  And, that's one of the biggest things - it is just toooo expensive here.  It is no matter what - but add in my disabilities, plus lots of kiddos, and even w/ my husband making what I consider a decent living - it's CRAZY.  Too much money to live here, seriously. 

We are stuck for now, though.  My help (with the kids) is here, which was the reason we moved back.  So, it's just a quiet prayer that I have to return to CO.  We'll see....





Diagnosed with POTS/dysautonomia; Fibromyalgia; Severe Hypertension; Hypothyroidism; Adrenal Gland Disorder; Chronic Pain - severe carpal tunnel syndrome, migraines, severe back problems, widespread muscle/joint pain...


Current Meds: MS Contin, MSIR, Soma and MANY other meds (heart, thyroid, etc)

Past Meds: EVERYTHING.  Fentanyl patches, Actiq (which caused $$$ in dental work), Fentora, Oxycontin, Oxycodone, Kadian, Avinza, Dilaudid and on the list goes.

Waiting On: Intrathecal Drug Pump Implantation (Dilaudid/Baclofen combo)


Post Edited (Momto6boys) : 10/24/2008 6:45:01 PM (GMT-6)

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted Today 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh, California is bad. $$$$ I've heard they have no income tax in Alaska. Maybe I'll go there
one day when my pain is less. One day ...
BTW, there are very few Igloos left in Alaska. In my child mind I still see people huddled
in Igloos and dining on bear fat or whatever.
That information could be a new thread: Things I've Learned On The View idea

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted Today 12:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that could be a dangerous thread, Pamela! smilewinkgrin

Alaska - BRRR! Doesn't the cold make your pain worse? I want to find a middle of the road climate. Not too hot, not too cold. Just like Goldilocks! yeah


Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted Today 6:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I can really relate
'It was my DIL that got ahold of my Oxycontin and they also were in a lockbox
She also got into my hubby's percocets
I did call and tell doctor and thank God I have the kind of doc that
knows I DO NOT bullchit him on my pills and amouint I take ..If I take an extra I will tell him
I was given the pain meds I missed from her and she is no longer allowed in hose ( except she came this past wknd cuz son came from Alberta) BUT all meds were upstairs and in lockbox as I have liqued morphine and 100 mgs of them as well as percocets ........
She nor anyone else will ever get the chance
I too have a key around my neck and it stays there

It is sad how ppl can do this to us
I feel your pain I really do

Glad you are getting your meds and I DO hope they gift wrap
YOU deserve it

  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted Today 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I guess it is hard to say till I've walked a mile in your shoes but I don't think I would have any sympathy for a family member that stole my meds. (I am not on any meds that anyone would want but I am just imagining). I think of it this way, it is one thing to steal from a stranger, 100 times worse to steal from family. I would be on the phone with the police so fast their head would spin. He/she deserves to do time for that. Adios, and don't expect me to write. Maybe I'm just heartless lol.
27 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.

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