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ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 10/25/2008 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Cloe,
 
I red on one of your other post that you might have had your kids taken away or decided to let them go and live with you ex.  If I am wrong please I am sorry, I was just looking for someone to talk with about my postion with my kids as I am single with 4 kids and am struggling so bad right now.
 
I would love to talk with you so If you dont mind and it is not an intrusion would you mind emailing me or you can post on here I dont mind either way.
 
Thanks
Lara

Lindaloo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 10/26/2008 12:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Ladyred,

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. I will pray for you and for Cloe if she is indeed the one you refer to.

God's blessings.

Lindaloo
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


~Cloe~
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 10/27/2008 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Yes I let go of my children legally, they went to their father.  My son still stayed at my place all the time and I paid child support. I am very grateful to have the father of my children be such an excellent father, I will add that the child support carp didn't start until he re-married.  I was alone and messed up.  This topic is hard for me to talk about publicly like this. redface Cloe

How do I email you?

ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 10/27/2008 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Cloe I would thank you for responding to my post and I am sorry if I have caused you any distress at all, all you have to do is click onto my name ladyred and it will show you my email addy.
 
Once again thank you I sure could use someone to talk with that is in the same boat or has gone through the same thing
 
lara
 
Ps  Thank you Lindaoo all the prayers are welcome and much needed

~Cloe~
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 10/28/2008 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi redra,

I decided to reply this way as it was a long time ago and what happened to me was not my fault. There very well may be others out here with the same problem I went through and you are now.   I was not a CP sufferer at the time my ex and I had a change in custody.  I was working full time and got sick, it took the doctors awhile to find out what was wrong with me.  I had one doctor tell me I need to see a psych. doc!  I was tested for everything and finally my PA sent in my DNA to check for the likelihood of carrying a gene supporting Hemochromatosis (Iron overload disease) #1 genetic killer in the USA at the time.  After six long weeks and more blood work and a liver biopsy I was diagnosed with this malady. I was off work 2x and placed on short term disability, I was only receiving 80% of my normal pay, unable to attend school function and transport my kids who at the time my daughter was in 7th grade she is now 28yr. My son was in 5th grade and he is now 25yr.  We only lived a few blocks apart and as I mentioned in another post my overly protective son spent every night with me. 

So that is my story, I have thought many a times that if I had small children and was a single parent that there is no way I could do it.  Not with this pain, my husband has to do the dishes and laundry most of the time, I used to be a neat freak and now I don't even make the bed.  It takes me days to clean.  I really wish there was a chronic pain support group in our communities, it is rough and most of the time flat out He!!.  In  my opinion.   

Can you get someone from human services or a volunteer to come into your home and help out with shopping and laundry even homework if your kids have that each night as mine did.  I hated homework, for awhile my mantra was 'babies are cute until they grow up and have homework!'  How old are your children? If you don't mind me asking.  Cloe

:-)

ladyred
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 10/28/2008 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Cloe,

My kids are 18, she just came back to live with me and she is a recoverinig drug addict and that alone makes things very hard as well as her thinking because she is 18 she can do what she wants as she in an ADULT! HA they should make that age 28 or over:)

My son is 14 and heavely involved in basketball plays for 3 teams and is really good might even be able to get a scholarship to college on BB. 

 My daughter 13, smart smart smart in all girted glasses but I prob dont need to say much more but girl and 13.

My son, 10 addhd and so full of energy and he is tuff but owns my heart completley.  I choose not to put him on meds as I have seen what they do to other kids that are on it.  But it makes it hard.

My prob is 1 I am only working part time as of now sense my accident and the doc told me that my SI joint is dislocted and I have not been responding to any of the treatments thus far its been 5 months now.  I do PT 3 times a week and that does not include any extra doc appointments.

I have lost 1/2 my income due to only being able to work part time.  Mentaly Im on the verge of a nervis breakdown because my days off are at docs or trying to do housework, run errands,  After school there is homework, extra cir. activities, and I feel like there is no way to manage all this on my own.  I cry evey night, I dont get more than 4 to 5 hrs a day of sleep.  Im exhausted phyicaly, mentaly, and emotionaly. Then top that all off with dealing with 3 teenagers and a 10 yr old and all that come with that.  I cant afford to stay where im at, my mom and dad are already paying my rent and car payment sense accident and I still cant make it with them paying that.

I was thinking of sending my kids to there fathers but the down side to that is that im in sc and he is in philly and thats a long ways away and I feel very torn about disrutping my kids life put I just dont know how to manage this all on my own.  I was hard pressed to do it all when I was 100% let alone now hurt and in constant pain all the time.  I just dont know what to do anymore.  I feel like all I am in a body in my own home .  How do you make that decission?  How did you handle it and do you think it was the best thing for them in the long run?  I was just looking for some input from someone that has been there and might be able to offer up some suppport or answers that I may not be thinking on.

Thank Cloe for the reply

Lara

 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/28/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Cloe and Lara,
I don't have children so can't speak to your issues, but I just wanted to send you both hugs. I'm so glad you found eachother, and commend you for having the courage to consider and/or make such challenging decisions.

PaLady

~Cloe~
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 10/28/2008 9:11 PM (GMT -7)   

You do indeed have a lot going on,  keep in mind I am just a layman, clueless and go real fast with my impulses. 

If I could do it all over again, I would not let go of my children as I did.  I hope you can get the support from your community that you need to assist you and your children. 

 


~Cloe~
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 10/29/2008 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   

I got to thinking that maybe joint custody might be an option ?

I would hate to see your problems worsen financially as you very well would end up paying child support as I did, this was a killer for me.  I also paid for their health insurance, the courts in my state take 1/3 of your income to go for child support.  If you and your ex could share custody then maybe it would work for both of you? Cloe :-)


Post Edited (~Cloe~) : 10/29/2008 3:14:52 PM (GMT-6)

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