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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/16/2009 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Here I am all better, well....at least as far as the online part goes anyway. I missed you all so much the last week and really needed to vent quite a lot these past two days. Not only with the increased pain from the storm that just passed our state, but also emotionally a wreck from the passing of my father. I want to thank Chutz for answering so many emails from me and being such a great sounding board in these tough days. I also want to thank you, Kara your words are soothing and though dad was suffering the last two years quite badly with his disease he leaves behind a huge emptiness in my heart that I think only time will slowly heal.

I have a doctors appt. on Monday. Then Tuesday it will have to be a packing day to get ready for the trip on Wednesday. I will have my laptop with me and will try to post as much as I can.

Hugs

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 1/16/2009 1:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Scarred,
You have my deep, deep sympathies on the passing of your father. I read your post on the other thread, but wanted to post this on the thread you started to make sure you saw it.

The passing of a parent is a deep loss for each of us; I have lost both of mine and each was a major transition point. I wish I could hug you, but know you have my shoulder here. Know I will be thinking of you often as you go through these next days.

Sending you healing thoughts,

PaLady

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13451
   Posted 1/16/2009 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Scarred, honey you have my deepest sympathy in the passing of your father. Just take every day one day at a time, thats how I made it thru. I lost them both within 18 months of each other. It was awful as my father's passing was a total surprise, he died the day he was to be released from the hospital. He had heart surgery and had other things t happen, it had been a very long road for him. My Mom died of lung cancer and even tho we knew with her, it made no difference it hurt just as bad. Its so hard losing a parent. Remember the good times and the good memories. My best friend bought me a little book called Good Grief, I nearly wore it out from reading it so much. It helped me sort out the feelings I had going on. Hugs, Susie


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 1/16/2009 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. Any loss is tragic and horrible, but I cannot imagine losing a parent. You have my deepest sympathies as well. Glad to see you back online. Good luck with your doctor's appointment on Monday & try to hang in there, I'm sure your family is really going to need each other over the next couple of weeks!

Skeye

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/17/2009 1:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your warm sympathy's when I so badly need them the most. These past few days have been such a roller coaster of emotions that I don't know how I am going to handle being there in front of the casket when the time comes. All I do know is that there were some hard feelings that I must put to rest between me and my father and maybe now I can do that and put my mind at ease knowing that I did my best to be a good daughter over the years. *wipes the tears away once more* I feel like those are so petty now and that they really did not mean much when it comes down to it. We had expected this for a long time. Dad was ill for 10 years suffering with COPD but the last 5 have been the worst and listening to him cough as well as trying with every breath trying to catch that one good gasp of air was so hard that this was a blessing. Us three kids really tried our best to prepare for dad's death as best we could knowing how much pain he was in and all but no matter how much a person prepares for their parents passing when they are ill its never enough. When the day comes its still hard to finally let them go.

Yes I have my memories of a vibrant man filled with laughter, a twinkle in his eyes and hope and love in his voice. My husband has been asked to do the eulogy for him as the two of them were quite close and I will read it for him because he is not good at public speaking he freezes up really bad and I am finding the memories come flowing back to my mind. I will miss him so much. I say a prayer each night for my fellow cpers and too I now throw in one to give me the strength to go on without the man that raised me for the last 44 years. I have made another decision that was my own choice because it just was but....my birthday is the day before my dad's funeral and I have chosen to not celebrate this year. I know that some may think that I am crazy for this but I feel that its just not a day for celebration of my life with one gone.

Anyway, best close before I start to cry again. Hugs and thank you all for your wonderful sympathy's.

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.

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