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Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/22/2009 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Well gang I made it to Thermopolis and am sitting here in the motel resting my back waiting for my sister to make it in thinking about my dad and remembering all the good things I can recall about his life. Today I turned 45 years old but I really don't feel much like celebrating the day and feel more like keeping to the task at hand and that is saying goodbye to my daddy tomorrow. Hubby headed for Powell early this morning wanting to spend the day with a few friends. I can't blame him for not wanting to deal with my family right now...they are already fighting and being totally paranoid about things. My big brother doesn't want anyone out at dad's or his old place where his ex wife lives which leaves me wondering what he is hiding from us two girls. The will states that he gets everything and of course this poses a problem as dad had three children not one. So now us two girls feel as though we have been deserted by our own father. To top that off I had a horrible fight with my sister last night. She feels that she has been singled out as the lone sheep and that we are treating her like a baby instead of an adult. So she is taking it out on me.

With the fight last night and all the things I have heard today about my dad I have decided that I am going to go into my silent ways once more and quietly go about the rest of the day. Tomorrow I will go say goodbye to my dad and then back to the motel to get what little sleep I can before hubby and I head for home. Home....sounds sooooo wonderful right now. My refuge from the bull that goes on. My house where I am in control of everything....my castle. I can't wait to be there. I close my eyes....yes there it is......I can see the front porch where I will hang my flowering baskets this summer......I can feel the comfy blankets of my bed wrapping around me safely in my cocoon...I can smell the scent of home cooking that hubby has prepared just for the two of us.....I can feel the warmth of the hot water as I sink into my deep tub and wash away the cares of the day. HOME!

Silly that something so far away fills me with such hope. The stress of this funeral is beginning to get to me bad. *Deep breath* Nap time!

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/22/2009 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Scarred!

Hold on to my hand <extending hand> and we'll make it together. When things get unbearable in the next few days just concentrate hard and you'll feel me holding on to you...OK? I know you'll make it through but I am so very sorry your family is so thoughtless right now. When someone passes is not the time for family fights and your siblings ought to be ashamed. Their focus should be on dad.

Loves,
Chutize
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
***************
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 1/22/2009 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
Sometimes I don't think there's anything like a death in the family to bring out the worst in everyone. At least it brings out all the old emotions and unfinished business in a climate that's full of pain and grief and lots of other things.

I'm so glad you can envision your new home - and that's really become "home" to you very quickly! That is wonderful. Since I've been through the deaths of both of my parents the one thing I would say is do what YOU need to do to say your good-bye to your father, and try (I know it's hard, but you're doing a great job) to back away from the rest. It does sound painful that everything is going to your brother. Is there any small momento of your father you might want, that you might be able to gently ask your brother for? Maybe this isn't a good idea right now, but it's just a thought. You know some of the things I have from my father? A couple of his old shirts that I still on occasion wear around the house and he died in 1982! I also have a pocketful of change I found in a pair of pants. They are silly things to some, but I still hang onto them. Sometimes items like that can have meaning, but not a lot of monetary worth so they don't get anybody's ire up. When my uncle died, who was like a second father to me, I also asked his wife for an old shirt. Still have them. So maybe there's somethng like that? If not, continue doing what you're doing ....remembering you have a home to go back to, and a new adventure in front of you.

(((((((((Scarred)))))))))

PaLady

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 1/22/2009 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Awe Geezee Scarred. lots of soft hugz...
So very sorry about the loss of your Father, you have my deepest of sympathies....
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, Enlarged Pituitary Gland
******** "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" from Helen Keller *********

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there Girl! From the beutiful poetry that you just resited about your home it sound to me like you can use self hypnosis to crawl into your mind and go anywhere you want although it sounds like home sweet home is where you'll be going. You are lucky that you love you're home that much! I envy that as I hate my home, my kids are gone, my wife is gone and my home sweet home and the wondrful memories of the past has turned into a lonely prison now. Sorry, there I go w/ that "it's all about Pete mode again" Scratch that. We are thinking about you and know you will sail through the funeral and be back to home sweet home before you know it!
Big Florida Orange Juice Hugs!
Pete
55 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy (Testim Gel)since 12/06 but switched to a higher dose of (Androgel) 6/08. 55 and still alive and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


ekkorose
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 329
   Posted 1/22/2009 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry things are so rough. Gentle hugs


Sarrah

Hysterectomy at 25

4 laproscopic surgeries since 24

Cervical stenosis in C3 & C4

_____________________________________________

 

Meds - percocet  3x day : nexium : xanax :

Supplements : calcium : magenesium :potassium : milk thistle : fish oil : B complex : vit E

____________________________________________

In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. ~Thomas Szasz 


AndreaRN
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 1/22/2009 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Think about your dad and all the special times you shared in the past......the silly times etc. Not them. This is his time. No one should deprive him of that.........like wise it is your time.....you will never have this day and tomorrow again.

Prayers, Andrea
Women who behave don't make History!

C3-4 herniation
C4-5 disectomy & fusion (anterior)
C6-7 & C7-8 L laminectomies (posterior) (need R)
Partial removal of supporting Cervical Posterior Ligament
Constant shoulder pain & tightness.intermittent neck pain
bulged discs at C6-7 & C7-8

Chronic Pain with Vicodin 7.5/325 rx

VIEW IMAGE


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 1/23/2009 2:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry that you have to deal with all of this.Your house sounds great.Try to just remember the love you had for your dad and let everything else go.There is no way to know why your dad left everything to your brother aand it was wrong of him but the best thing for you is to just let it go.If you think of it to much it will just hurt you and wont change it.So get through tomarrow then go home to your castle It sounds like you have all that you really need in life at home already.Good luck.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


kara487
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 1/23/2009 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,(((((hugs)) I am sorry for what your going through. You have my deepest of sympathies. Just know I am thinking of you and praying for you. I hope your pain decreases and you have a low pain day.

Percocet,ambien,elavil,reglan , neurontin,zyrtec and soma.
 
spinal conditions: Scolosis,herniated discs,spinal blockage,Spinal stenosis,bursitis ,Fibro,and arthritis


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
We're thinking about you! Hope your siblings are not giving you a hard time today and you can greave Dad w/o having to worry about all that BS!!
Your friend,
Pete
55 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy (Testim Gel)since 12/06 but switched to a higher dose of (Androgel) 6/08. 55 and still alive and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
What a difficult time for you. You are in my thoughts.
My sister-in-law caused her dad to change his will so that all went to her. It was
such a blow to my husband.
Sister-in-law wanted her brother (my husband) to take an active part in Dad's death.
We are a long way from them and I can't travel because of Chronic Pain.
Sister-in-law would call frequently and make my husband feel guilty. This was at
a time when I had made no adjustment to the pain that is now mine. He wouldn't
leave me. In some ways it wasn't even safe. She knew my pain was real but
went on and on about how it was in my head. Terrible situation.
My husband took the blow as well as anybody could. His dad wrote letters all the
time telling us how much he loved us. He said, "Someone is taking my money."
We knew and he knew what was happening but our hands were tied. His writing
was like that of a third grader. He was well taken care of in a convalescent home.
Time has helped us. I hope it does the same for you in your wonderful home.
Pamela
Chronic Pain effects everything.

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Geeze, Does that sound famillar! Sorry for getting a little off subject but I just have to respond to Pamela! My wife's Mom died about 6 years ago, her Dad about 10 years ago. Her older brother was the executor of the will. He married a girl who was , excuse me but (poor white trash) She just married him because she knew that his parrents had money. To make a very long story short. He the older brother embezelled over 5 & 1/2 million dollars from the estate before the brother and two sisters caught him! How could someone do that to their own family is beyond me. It broke my wife's heart. I wanted them to press charges but he apologised and begged for forgiveness after he said he lost all the $$$ in bad investments. My wife her younger brother & older sister bit on it and didn't. They said they couldn't send him to jail and his trashy wife had put him up to it. Now the only one who will talk to this scumbag is my wife. He lives in a 5 bedroom house up in Western Mass. full of new furniture and stainless steel apliances. He also sold all the parrents antiques and heirlooms. The wife stold Mom's jewlery before we got up there for the funeral and blamed it on the Hospis Nurses! Oh it makes me sick to even talk about it. Sorry but w/ relatives & death you just never know! I'm sure lots of you have been though the same. My Mom is 82 and I pray this doesn't happpen to my family (2 brothers and 1 sister) when she leaves us.
Love you guys! Hang in there Scarred!!
Pete
55 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy (Testim Gel)since 12/06 but switched to a higher dose of (Androgel) 6/08. 55 and still alive and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13477
   Posted 1/23/2009 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Aw Scarred, yes slip back to your castle sweety, that is home, that is the safe place. You already know my story from another post when I lost my Dad. Say your goodbye's to your Dad, and remember the fun things you had with him. I try very hard to do that too, although I still see the tormented look on his face in the middle of the fatal heart attack. That look haunts me alot, but I am learning slowly to get that one out of my mind. PA was right I still have his suitcase from the hospital packed with his clothes and three dollars in a shirt pocket,lol. An old shirt is very comforting. I sometimes sleep in a pair of my Mom's pj's when I am really in bad shape, it comforts me. Her clothes still hang in the closet and her purse hangs on the back of the door, I just dust it off. I still have all of her things in the bathroom nder the counter just as she left them. I do not have the heart to let go of these things. Let go of the negative things that are going on there, they will not serve you any purpose other than giving you hurt.
 
I am very ashamed of your brother, but trust me what goes around comes around, he will find out soon enough. He may have got everything alright, but he does not have your memories. Have you actually seen a copy of the will? As for your sister she needs to just buck up, this is not about her and its not the time or the place.
 
My Dad had a simple will and had basically nothing. There was nothing to fight over but one sister seem to think there was.What I did w/my brother's approval was "if you bought something for Dad and wanted it back, by all means take it, if there a little momento of some you want, take it," otherwise everything was sold in a garage sale to put toward the funeral bill that my brother and I were responsible for. Yes, we had 3 other sisters but we knew they would not pay a dime towards the expense. Little did I know or my brother, our Dad worked at WalMart, not only did they have a small insurance policy on him that paid the funeral expenses, but my Dad actually took out a separate policy. And all the time we just knew there was no insurance because every time someone advertised life insurance, he would always say I need to get some of that. So, you can imagine the shock when we discovered insurance. You can imagine the shock when it was me named the beneficiary on the policies too-why my Dad knew I would do the right thing. He was not sure about the others.
 
You have alot of shoulders here to lean on and lots of helping hands girlfriend, we are here for you. Hugs, Susie
 
 


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 1/23/2009 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((Scarred)))))))). Thinking of you & sending you my best.

Skeye

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/24/2009 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys and gals! Made it safely back to my castle and as the walls envelop me back into these familiar surroundings I am reminded that nothing and no one could take away the sadness and emotions of yesterday as I said my final goodbye to my daddy. He meant more to me then just a few trinkets or whatever it is my brother seems to be hiding behind the walls of dad's home. With that said I made a list on Thursday morning writing down everything I could think of that I thought I would want from dad's house. An afghan that I crocheted for him one Christmas. A selection of pictures of us kids when we were little along with many of my dad and granddad, mom, aunts, uncles and other various photos that were left in dad's care after he and my mom divorced 20 odd some years ago. I also wrote down that if he came across anything that he thought I would like that was not on the list but that maybe would help me to remember dad then by all means send it my way. This list I gave to my brother and told him no big hurry on them that I did not want to rush him into doing this too soon before he was ready.

The will. I have not seen it nor do I really care to. I know this may sound cold but I do have my reasons for this statement. One my brother has promised that my sister and I will be taken care of and that even though dad supposedly left everything to him that he would make sure that we were treated fairly in the end. So the ball is in his court and we will wait and see if he actually follows through with his plans. If not......then I know where I stand with my so called older brother and he'll play hell ever getting anything from me or my husband ever again if he is in need or should a sudden windfall spring upon us to where we are in a position to throw a huge amount of money his way as well. My thoughts are what comes around goes around and that it will bite him in the butt someday very hard.

My sister....she is always after one this.....what fiddle can she play to focus the attention off of me or anyone else in this family that is in pain and make it all about her. She too will get what is coming to her as well one day and when that day comes I truly hope that I can stand there smirking at both of them. ummmm getting pretty tired as my meds are kicking in so I will write more later if I wake up at my usual time.

hugssss

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13477
   Posted 1/24/2009 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred so glad you are back home safe and sound.The tranquility of just being back home will helped take the edge off of the hell you have been thru the last few days. Hey, you have been thru alot these last couple of days, so you know what, just try and unwind as much as you possibly can. If a moment sneaks in and you think you need to cry, do it-don't hold in it, its part of healing.A very good friend of mine gave me a little book called "Good Grief". This little book is what helped her pull thru the loss of her Dad. It helped me understand all the different emotions I was flooded with, from anger to anything in between. If you ever see it, spend a couple of bucks and buy it, its a great little read. I nearly wore it out reading bewteen losing 2 parents.
 
This will get better as time goes by, may not feel that way right now, but it will. Remember, you have alot of shoulders to lean on here and we are here for you. Hugs, Susie


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 1/24/2009 11:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred,
I want to echo Susie's thoughts. You've been through a lot in the past few months with the struggle over moving, your husband's job, and now your father's death. I am so glad your new home is a haven for you, and that you're back there. Hopefully our harsh winter days will start to dwindle until the flowers pop up.

In the meantime, I hope you can get some rest and peace.

Hugs,

PaLady

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/25/2009 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Susie and PA. Your words hit more close to home then you know. Being home the last few hours has been great, I've had time to unwind and get a little sleep at least. It's of course 3:00am once again and I'm awake thinking about dad and the past few days but I think with time I will ease back into things and be able to deal with the everyday life of my days once again without him. Until then I'm just going to have to adjust and try to go on.... The comfort of my home does help though. I was met by the happiness of having my new laptop here so that will distract me for awhile as I try to adjust from XP to Vista. Then there is the unpacking that has to be done so I think I will throw myself into a few things around the house that will keep my mind off the madness of this trip and maybe give my brother a chance to really think hard on his actions in the next few months as to how he wants his sisters to feel about him.

I want to thank each of you for your support in my time of need and tell you that I knew that if there was anyone I could turn to it would be my friends on HW to make sense of this madness. Maybe as PA says Spring will arrive soon and we can all breath in the fresh air.

hugs

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13477
   Posted 1/25/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Gal,
 
I sure hope you have better luck than I did when it came to the laptop.lol. Jeez, talk someone that went from knowing a little about her desktop to the laptop being totally greek thats me. I bought it thinking I would really use but then I also thought it will be great as a backup to the desktop. It has the Vista programs, totally greek to me too. Hubby has taken it over and thats fine. I cannot even type on the crazy thing. I did type every day at work,lol. My 3 yr old grandson loves a laptop and he uses his Dad's, so when he is here he gets on it. lol
 
Now, I know since the move and you having to deal with comp on finding drs willing to take out of state comp. I am sure that has been a job in itself. How has that turned out for you?
 
Take it easy on the unpacking kid, can't have you all bummed up from doing too much. Is it me or what? I know when I have moved into different homes and started unpacking and setting some of my stuff out, it took on a whole new look in a different place.lol  Even now, do to where my husband has to have the tv, I am limited in re-arranging the furniture in the living room, plus its an open look concept and I have a fireplace that takes up one long wall. What I do is take and move around my pictures & knick knacks just to give a little change in the room or I may swap out an end table by putting it a the opposite end of the love seat or sofa. Really not much I can w/the room furniture wise.
 
Yes, its very wise of you to just let this time be a cool off period when it comes to your brother. He may or may not come aroud who knows. Either way, at some time in his life he will have to answer to some one for whatever decisions he makes over the will business and everything involved with it.
 
Sleep what is that,lol. My sleeping pattern is so rotten. I don't sleep thats the problem. When I do its sitting in this chair at the computer. Now that I actually have some decent pain pills I am thinking this sleep business may get turned around, I hope. It takes alot of stamina to deal with my 3 yr old grandson.lol. Granny has a time keeping up with the little man for sure.
 
Take care kid and know we are here for you anytime. Hugs, Susie


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 1/25/2009 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Awe Scared,
again so very sorry about the loss of your Father...
Sure glad you made it home safely and you'll continue to have my prayers
and lots of soft hugz...
Wish I had some magic words to eaz your family situation, that your now
faced with, but my magic seems all poof for now(soorrry)
Stengh and good luck with the family, keep us posted and at least you
can have my shoulder when you need it..
Soft Hugz...
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, Enlarged Pituitary Gland
******** "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" from Helen Keller *********

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


Becoming undone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 1/27/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Scarred, I cannot find any better words to say than what has already been posted. I admire your poise and grace even in the face of your personal crisis. You are in my thoughts...

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/27/2009 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much to all who have posted. Your thoughts, encouragements, prayers and hugs are more then I could ever ask for. In these difficult times it is nice to know that a person can turn to another in their time of greatest need and find someone to lean on when they need it the most. All of you have given me this and more and I cannot possibly thank you enough for your kindness. Even though each of you are miles away and I have not met one of you personally I feel like I am closer to each of you more today then ever and that you all are special to me. You all are my extended family and I know that I can rely on each of you to lift me up when I am down and you too can count on me for the same in your time of need as well. My shoulders are yours, you only need to reach out and ask.

Hugs my family.

Scarred
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13477
   Posted 1/27/2009 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Honey, you are so right about us all being an extended family. Its amazing how we can bond friendships with people we have never met. These very same people can be our best support system needed. I think the big part of it is the understanding that many of us need so desparately, being able to connect with someone thats in the same shoes that we are in, CP can be a very cruel thing. If someone tells me they are in pain, I understand what they are saying. But, if I did not have CP I would not understand in the sense they are speaking. I only wish we had better educated drs to help us. Ones that do not think if we need pain meds for more than 10 days that we are drug seekers, or selling it, or the all time there is nothing wrong with you to make you hurt, its in your head., you know we need a break.

Back when I joined how ever many years ago I was a mess trying to handle crohns disease and learn about it. No one I knew had a clue about it-so I had no one to talk to you. Lets face it, people don't want to hear or talk about bloody diarhea, gas, bloating, constipation, severe pin, fistulas and things of that nature.lol. It can and is a gross disease to say the least,lol. It took me awhile to admit to my own dr I had no bowel control, was pooping my brains out and spent the better my of my days in the shower or on the throne.lol. I felt like my life had gone right down the chitter,lol. I got the very best education of crohns from Healing Well.

Sorry got way off track here,lol. Well, I am glad you are back home and safe. You have contributed a great deal to this forum, so its good tht sometimes we are able to give back....Hugs, Susie


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 1/27/2009 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred, Susie and everyone else,
You are so right about us being a family. So very, very right. I couldn't have said it better.

It is amazing, isn't it, what this internet has done for people like us? And many of us can remember way before there ever was such a thing as a PC. Heck, I can remember picking up the telephone at home when I was a girl and giving an operator a 3 digit number!!!

I'm so glad we could be here for you, Scarred, and know that the reverse is also true!

PaLady

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 1/27/2009 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
So true to both of your responses PA and Susie. Before the internet when I was little there was little a person could do about problems concerning pain management. And if you had more serious problems (mentally) you were really shunned from the family. I had a cousin that no one spoke of many years ago. Of course I did not meet her until I was in my early 20s and I had mo clue who she was let alone that she was related to me. But she was a bit off and it was quite obvious when she began to play with my 14 month old (youngest son was this age at the time) son's toys in the middle of our living room and forgot all about visiting with us. Talk about blow my mind! Then there was my aunt who lost her oldest to the state when the neighbors complained that she was a bad parent because she could not hear his cries. My aunt has and as always had problems with her hearing in one ear and upon testing after the child was taken away they discovered that she was deaf in that ear and that her ear drum was deformed. She did not get her son back and my cousin was not spoken of in the family for some time. I only found out about him through my mom who told me of him after I had gotten much older. I've had cousins that have had bad arthritis, scoliosis, crippling osteoporosis and other things that they have lived with for years before receiving treatment for it in the end many many years later when technology finally caught up.

As much as we are in such a great age for all of these great breakthroughs of medical technology why is it that Chronic Pain sufferers still get the worst treatment of them all?

Hugssss hope all of you sleep well tonight.

Scarred.
HEALTH ISSUES: Herniated discs at S-1-L5, L5-L4, L4-L3. Two level fusion (2000); one level fusion (2002); Revision at L4-L3 (2003). Slight herniation at L2-3 but Neurosurgeons will not operate because of previous failed surgeries. Diagnosed with Failed Back Syndrome, Permanent Nerve damage and Chronic Pain

Medications:

Kadian, Lexipro, Percocet, Lunista, Topamax and Robaxin.

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